Joined
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73 Posts
<p>I lurk here from time to time and I have debated whether I should post or not.</p>
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<p>A little background: I'm still married but have been separated for over 3 years. I have no family here and very little support. I get no child support and I don't make enough to make ends meet.</p>
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<p>Marriage: I'm still married because I cannot afford to get divorced. Plain and simple. Not even doing it myself. If I had that money it would need to go to something else that is dire.</p>
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<p>Support: I have a few friends that can help me from time to time with childcare, but their schedules vary greatly from mine. I don't want to burden them and I have no money to pay them.</p>
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<p>Child Support: There is an order for it, but he is so far in arrears that when he does pay something (very little), it goes towards that. I have asked time and time again if he could give me "something" each week, but all he says is that he'll try.</p>
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<p>Work: I work retail. Not a lot of money, but either they don't give me enough hours or when I do get hours, I don't have adequate childcare. I've already had to refuse 10 hrs in the last 3 days. We were homeschoolers (and would LOVE to get back to it) and the dad was watching them and we had (what I thought was the "perfect" setup.) He then began taking them to his mother more. She doesn't like me. He doesn't like or respect me. They'd talk about me in front of my children, which burdened my DD very much. My DS was getting SUPER spoiled. (I literally didn't recognize him. He would throw MAJOR tantrums and tell me he didn't want me and he was REALLY attached to me). My DD on the other hand was getting cut down because she can express my wishes which was not wanted by the dad or gma. When my 8 yr old was having crying fits because I was going to work, it sent major red flags. I therefore, put her in school. My DS can only go to daycare 2 days a week. That's the equivalent of what money the state offers. So, I can only work roughly, 2 days a week. I can't do nights or weekends and my job is hassling me about that. I have been applying to other jobs weekly since getting this job and NOTHING! No call backs. Nothing! I cannot afford to live in this drafty, yucky (no matter how much you clean it doesn't look or feel clean) money pit of a house. I am afraid of the next utility bill. Seriously! I am behind in rent (landlord is working with me..A POSITIVE!), but if I can't get the hours then I can't get the money. If I don't have childcare, then I can't get the hours that will give me the money, *SIGH*</p>
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<p>I feel like I'm doing all that I can and am still just spinning my wheels. I know no one even close to being in a similar situation. When I read other posts by single moms, they're getting ahead because they can write, edit or freelance or have a degree. I have none of that. I have some skills. i was in banking and have done childcare for many years. I can't do childcare now because this house isn't up to par. I have applied to dozens and dozens of banks and credit unions. Nada!</p>
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<p>I feel lower than low right now. I can't see a way out of my situation. I know that it's a matter of time before I'm asked to resign from my job. (Was asked once, but the store manager put me in another dept. until after the Christmas rush). This too shall pass, but WHEN? LOL.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you read this far, thanks. I feel alone in this situation and I hope that maybe someone can suggest something I haven't thought of but I swear I've thought of it all.
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A little background: I'm still married but have been separated for over 3 years. I have no family here and very little support. I get no child support and I don't make enough to make ends meet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Marriage: I'm still married because I cannot afford to get divorced. Plain and simple. Not even doing it myself. If I had that money it would need to go to something else that is dire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Support: I have a few friends that can help me from time to time with childcare, but their schedules vary greatly from mine. I don't want to burden them and I have no money to pay them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Child Support: There is an order for it, but he is so far in arrears that when he does pay something (very little), it goes towards that. I have asked time and time again if he could give me "something" each week, but all he says is that he'll try.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Work: I work retail. Not a lot of money, but either they don't give me enough hours or when I do get hours, I don't have adequate childcare. I've already had to refuse 10 hrs in the last 3 days. We were homeschoolers (and would LOVE to get back to it) and the dad was watching them and we had (what I thought was the "perfect" setup.) He then began taking them to his mother more. She doesn't like me. He doesn't like or respect me. They'd talk about me in front of my children, which burdened my DD very much. My DS was getting SUPER spoiled. (I literally didn't recognize him. He would throw MAJOR tantrums and tell me he didn't want me and he was REALLY attached to me). My DD on the other hand was getting cut down because she can express my wishes which was not wanted by the dad or gma. When my 8 yr old was having crying fits because I was going to work, it sent major red flags. I therefore, put her in school. My DS can only go to daycare 2 days a week. That's the equivalent of what money the state offers. So, I can only work roughly, 2 days a week. I can't do nights or weekends and my job is hassling me about that. I have been applying to other jobs weekly since getting this job and NOTHING! No call backs. Nothing! I cannot afford to live in this drafty, yucky (no matter how much you clean it doesn't look or feel clean) money pit of a house. I am afraid of the next utility bill. Seriously! I am behind in rent (landlord is working with me..A POSITIVE!), but if I can't get the hours then I can't get the money. If I don't have childcare, then I can't get the hours that will give me the money, *SIGH*</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel like I'm doing all that I can and am still just spinning my wheels. I know no one even close to being in a similar situation. When I read other posts by single moms, they're getting ahead because they can write, edit or freelance or have a degree. I have none of that. I have some skills. i was in banking and have done childcare for many years. I can't do childcare now because this house isn't up to par. I have applied to dozens and dozens of banks and credit unions. Nada!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel lower than low right now. I can't see a way out of my situation. I know that it's a matter of time before I'm asked to resign from my job. (Was asked once, but the store manager put me in another dept. until after the Christmas rush). This too shall pass, but WHEN? LOL.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you read this far, thanks. I feel alone in this situation and I hope that maybe someone can suggest something I haven't thought of but I swear I've thought of it all.