[*MamaJen*]

<p>So I have another thread going in parenting...<a href="http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1285122/what-would-you-think-about-a-giant-see-saw-shaped-like-a-mustache-on-a-busy-street-corner#post_16113111">http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1285122/what-would-you-think-about-a-giant-see-saw-shaped-like-a-mustache-on-a-busy-street-corner#post_16113111</a></p>
<p>Basically, I live in this hipstery gentrifying Austin neighborhood, and this one especially hipster taco stand put up a giant mustache see-saw on the edge of the property right next to the sidewalk. It's a sexual pun off the term "mustache rides" (a fratty kind of slang term for oral sex). Some other people in the parenting thread were saying they didn't think it was a sexual pun, but I'm, like, 99 percent sure that's what it is, and all my friends who live in the neighborhood agree with me on that point.</p>
<p>Anyway, it creeps me out. I would probably think it was pretty funny if it was in a bar or something, but it's right next to the street and there are constantly little kids climbing all over it. And it just grosses me out to see little kids physically interacting with it and to have them be an unwitting punchline in a sexual joke. I actually find it really kind of triggering.</p>
<p>My SA past wasn't with childhood abuse, but with a violent stranger rape at 17, kind of the cliche of the guy jumping out the bushes with a knife kind of thing. I don't write about it much because it was so long ago and I feel pretty well healed from it. I don't feel like I have any residual issues left over from it. I guess the only thing is I kind of became more overtly sexual, sort of determinedly taking back ownership of my sexuality. But I think it does make me more aware of this kind of thing. </p>
<p>Anyway, I feel like I would have found the see-saw funny and joyfully naughty a few years ago. But now that I have DS, it feels really triggering to see kids playing on it. I really can't tell if I'm over-reacting or what. For what it's worth, a lot of my friends, even the ones that don't have kids, and even the ones who like things like, y'know, queer-positive burlesque shows and Pink's first album, think it's sort of crude and unnecessary.</p>

 

[Rigama]

<p>Blech.  Whether or not it is an intentionally sexual joke, the connotation is there.  And if you thought of the term, then odds are others do, too. I would not be okay with my kid playing on that structure because some perv could easily stand there and laugh at the little kids getting a mustache ride.  I wouldn't want my son to be the butt of someone else's sexual humor.  That's just creepy.</p>

 

[Mummoth]

<p>Id actually never heard the term 'mustache ride' before... but yeah, knowing that, it sounds pretty creepy!</p>

 

[Sweetflyfishfeel]

<p>It's totally creepy, sexual pun or not.</p>

 

[Hollycrand]

<p>So let me get this straight...in most US states it is not kosher for a woman to BF in public, but a taco stand can put up a children's see-saw baseed on a sexual pun and no one bats an eye?</p>
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<p>Weird...</p>

 

[DeerMother]

<p>I read that other thread last night. I totally get where you are coming from. It's temporary, right?</p>
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<p>Here's a pic <a href="http://elgrupogringo.blogspot.com/2010/11/moustache-ride_22.html" target="_blank">http://elgrupogringo.blogspot.com/2010/11/moustache-ride_22.html</a></p>
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<p>I think you healing from your rape and wanting to protect ds from pervs driving by and getting a kick out of him playing on it are two separate things.</p>

 

[shantimama]

<p> I don't think your experience of being sexually assaulted is clouding your view, it is clarifying it. Many people just don't see how this stuff matters until they have been hurt.</p>

 

[rightkindofme]

<p>You know... I'll kind of be the voice of dissent here. I wouldn't let my kids play on it for safety reasons but I'm not offended by it existing. I think for me I am at the stage in my life where I have other things that are dominating all of my ability to feel offense and I don't have any to spare for stuff that isn't actually harming anyone in a concrete way. That said, I totally support that you all don't like it. I'm not sure what the right solution would be.</p>

 

[sleepingbeauty]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>bananabee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285254/is-my-status-as-a-sa-survivor-clouding-my-view-on-this#post_16113877"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>It's totally creepy, sexual pun or not.</p>
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<br><br><p>Seriously.  </p>
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<p>Gross.</p>

 

[Isamama]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Shantimama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285254/is-my-status-as-a-sa-survivor-clouding-my-view-on-this#post_16117078"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> I don't think your experience of being sexually assaulted is clouding your view, it is clarifying it. Many people just don't see how this stuff matters until they have been hurt.</p>
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<p>I agree.  I would definitely have a difficult time with my kid playing on this.  I had no idea of the sexual pun that you described (thanks, learn something new every day), but I don't think it would take me long to look at my kid sitting on a man's mustache before I would be totally appalled.  Yeah, pretty disgusting.<br>
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[La Sombra]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Shantimama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285254/is-my-status-as-a-sa-survivor-clouding-my-view-on-this#post_16117078"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> I don't think your experience of being sexually assaulted is clouding your view, it is clarifying it. Many people just don't see how this stuff matters until they have been hurt.</p>
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<br><br><p>I agree with this totally. Sometimes there are things that are triggering for me but that doesn't mean that my intuition is being clouded by my past but rather, as Shantimama said, clarified by it. One example is that I don't make dd kiss anyone she doesn't want to--relative or not. When people try to insist that she kiss them, it makes me uncomfortable. But that's because I know what it feels like to have your boundaries violated and even though the people who try to make her give them a kiss (people like my parents, for instance) are people that I know love her and are not trying to hurt her, I have, I think, a special insight into what that feels like that helps define my view. It's not a perfect analogy, obviously, but I think it demonstrates the fact that just because something is triggering it doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't tapping into a valid, justified sense of violation, fear or outrage.</p>
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<p>The ride may not be hurting any children per se, but that doesn't mean that it's not inappropriate. I agree with your take that it is allowing kids to be, as you put it, the unwitting punchline in a sexual joke. And that would make me angry, too.</p>
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[inkedmamajama]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Shantimama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285254/is-my-status-as-a-sa-survivor-clouding-my-view-on-this#post_16117078"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> I don't think your experience of being sexually assaulted is clouding your view, it is clarifying it. Many people just don't see how this stuff matters until they have been hurt.</p>
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<br><br><p>I agree.</p>

 

[pranamama]

<p>I haven't heard that term before either so the actual art project wouldn'd have bothered me,   just the fact that it is jutting out into the street might have made me worry a little</p>

 

[inkedmamajama]

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<div>One example is that I don't make dd kiss anyone she doesn't want to--relative or not. When people try to insist that she kiss them, it makes me uncomfortable. But that's because I know what it feels like to have your boundaries violated and even though the people who try to make her give them a kiss (people like my parents, for instance) are people that I know love her and are not trying to hurt her, I have, I think, a special insight into what that feels like that helps define my view. </div>
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<p>I totally do this/agree with this completely.</p>