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Grandma tends to get us the same gift year after year, doing her best to not have to put any thought into it. For years we would get a box from Swiss Colony with their nasty processed cheeses and sausages. At one point we had 2 unopened boxes of the stuff in the fridge at once (from 2 Xmases). After about 5 years of that, somehow the conversation got on the subject and she learned we dont eat it. For a couple years after that, we were getting a tin of roasted nuts, which was something we actually will enjoy.<br><br>
And then for some reason, last year she sent me a gift subscription to a cooking magazine. Now, with certain mags, i would have considered it a thoughtful gift, but this is a magazine aimed at people who don't cook, and who eat a SAD full of processed foods. As anyone who pays attention knows, i can cook up a storm. And I'm a whole/slow/local/sustainable foodie. Not to even mention that i'm currently trying to declutter. A magazine that i find irrelevant and dont even look at is a waste of her money (shes on a fixed income), and it either sits here gathering dust or it goes right into the recycle bin.<br><br>
AND, on top of all that, we don't even celebrate Xmas!<br><br>
Is there a polite way to ask her not to waste her money? To tell her the nuts were a better choice? To somehow convey to her that we would rather she spent that money on food for herself? I really dont feel like dealing w the guilt trip she lays every year when the subject of the holidays comes up, but at the same time, i feel like she should know shes just throwing her money away. Is there any way to do that?
 

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<p>How often do you talk to her?  Could you possible drop a comment into regular conversation about how much you loved the nuts, and "wouldn't mind at all" if you received them again?</p>
 

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<p>imo the only polite way would be to say, "grandma, you are so sweet to always remember us on your christmas list, but we really don't need anything this year.  you should spend that money on yourself!"  or something (which you did basically say above).  i don't think there's a polite way to say you'd rather receive something else.</p>
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<p>if she does give you a magazine subscription again, contact the publisher and ask if you can switch to a different magazine, or if you really don't want to receive magazines because of clutter, ask if you can have the recipient changed to, say, a nursing home or some other place where people would enjoy the reading material.</p>
 

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<p><br><br>
I agree with this:</p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>doubledutch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284105/is-there-a-polite-way-to-convey-this#post_16100537"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>imo the only polite way would be to say, "grandma, you are so sweet to always remember us on your christmas list, but we really don't need anything this year.  you should spend that money on yourself!"  or something (which you did basically say above).  i don't think there's a polite way to say you'd rather receive something else.</p>
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<p>if she does give you a magazine subscription again, contact the publisher and ask if you can switch to a different magazine, or if you really don't want to receive magazines because of clutter, ask if you can have the recipient changed to, say, a nursing home or some other place where people would enjoy the reading material.</p>
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<p>Since she obviously wants to give you something (it's <span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>her</strong></span> way of celebrating Christmas, even if you do not), why not give her some honest ideas?</p>
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<p>Ask her for a specific gift, one you know she can afford.  Suggest that you have a group photo done of your family and her.  She can contribute to the cost (her share could be $20, much less than Swiss Colony or a magazine subscription).  It would be a nice way for you to have a gift everyone could enjoy.</p>
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<p>If you do not live near each other (and the photo idea wouldn't be practical), ask her for an on-line subscription to "Mothering" or for a gift certificate to a store you frequent (Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, or some other). </p>
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<p>Or, ask her for a donation to a charity you like, in your name (make sure it is one she would approve of).  Tell her you already have so much, you are trying to spread some love to others in need.</p>
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<p>We have done this with my great aunt and uncle and they are always pleased to know they are giving us something we like! </p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>doubledutch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284105/is-there-a-polite-way-to-convey-this#post_16100537"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><p><br>
if she does give you a magazine subscription again, contact the publisher and ask if you can switch to a different magazine, or if you really don't want to receive magazines because of clutter, ask if you can have the recipient changed to, say, a nursing home or some other place where people would enjoy the reading material.</p>
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Thats a great idea!!
 

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<p>I've been in the very same situation -- I think I even posted about it a few years ago! I was given a magazine subscription to a publication in which I swear almost every recipe started with a can of cream of mushroom soup -- it was really bad, and I just didn't use it at ALL. I figured the subscription would eventually run out, but the person renewed it for 3 years in a row. I just started completely raving about my favorite cooking magazine (Cook's Illustrated), going on and on about how every single recipe I tried was so delicious and how I found myself picking up a copy at the newsstand every time I saw a new one out. Lo and behold, the next Christmas the subscription changed!! </p>
 
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