Mothering Forum banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,200 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I still have people that don't know. It's been 4.5 months now. I expected an influx of phone calls or letters in December but didn't get any.<br>
My husband is in a culinary arts and EVERYONE knew I was pregnant but he only told one instructor what happened (because he missed the one day in class). He was bracing himself for everyone to ask about the baby but no one did. It's been eerie silent and I can't help but wonder if one day I'm going to be attacked by 20 people wondering where my baby is.<br><br>
I keep thinking about all the little people I don't normally talk to who don't know... like our immigration lawyer who contacts us every few months and gets an update on our family and how we're doing.<br><br>
Now it's worse, I think... because I'm pregnant again. By complete surprise.<br>
So when I am able to tell those people I don't want the conversation to be, "That's sad... for two minutes, and now I don't have to think about it anymore because this is extra happy!". That's kind of like how my brother reacted when I had to tell him (I stayed at his house two weeks ago and there was no getting around that I'm pregnant).<br>
Is it wrong to WANT them to think about it more? I want people to be sad and think about him. I don't want them just to pass over him like some uncomfortable and obligatory silence.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,753 Posts
I think every one in my extended family knows, but I didn't tell them. I think my MIL may have quietly handled it for me. But it can get awkward. I lost twins in September and when we told a few people that we were pregnant in December we got a few "huh?" responses b/c they thought we were still pregnant w/ the twins.<br><br>
It can get so complicated....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,442 Posts
littleteapot,<br>
Every time I run into someone I haven't seen since this summer I wonder how on earth everyone cannot know what has happened to us. It is just such an awful thing to have to tell people who keep asking how the baby is or if it was a boy or girl or whatever. In the beginning I didn't leave my house for 4 weeks and then when I initially faced everyone I was prepared for their shock and sadness; now when i find someone who doesn't know I almost start to panic and then eventually end up bawling -- I was crying in the convenience store the other day. And other than my close friends and my dh no one talks about Carrie. Sometimes I wish my mom or someone in my family would acknowledge that we have been through a terrible horrible tragic situation and they are sad and missing our baby too. Could it be that one instructor told the others and his classmates? Alot of people found out about us by word of mouth but I was surprised how many didn't know what happened at all. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Hope all is going ok for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
733 Posts
It's been 5 weeks since my miscarriage and there are still a few people that don't know. One neighbor that I consider a friend just found out yesterday. Being winter and all I hadn't seen her since I was 11 weeks but my ds and I went out trying to sell some school fundraiser stuff. I wasn't going to say anything about it (I would of been 18 weeks now) but she said so is the nausea over? So there I went having to go into it again not really wanting to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,353 Posts
You know it has been two years since my daughter died, and there are still people who don't know. Mostly people I don't see often. I just started attending LLL meetings again with my new ds, and I was expecting a bunch of questions about where I had been for two years. Oddly enough no one asked. Either they forgot I was pregnant, or just assume I don't want to talk about it. I find it hard to believe that they remember all of the stuff that was going on with ds1 around the time I stopped going (we had just started trying to get answers about his severe vax reaction) but don't remember me being pregnant.<br><br>
Every once in a while I will run into some one who I haven't seen in a while and they will see my son and ask "You have three now?" Then I have to explain everything all over again.
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top