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Background: my son is 3, will be 4 in June. I've worked full time since he was 6 weeks old. He started at babysitter's house where he was the only child she watched. At around 6 months, we moved him to a small in home daycare. Among the other kids there was a little girl about a month younger than him named A. When he was 18ish months old, we moved him again to the daycare where my older son went (she didn't take infants). A's mom decided to move A and her brother to this same daycare.<br><br>
So now, they've been together, seen each other every day since. DS and A love each other. They fight like crazy sometimes, but they've always been close. Well A's dad got a job across the state (like the very northern point, while we're at the very southern point of the state), so A and her brother moved away.<br><br>
My ds was fine with this, very matter of fact when he told me A was moving away and then again when she did stop going to daycare. He'd tell me nearly everyday that A had moved. This was weeks ago.<br><br>
Now, he has at least one time, sometimes more, a day where he's sobbing hysterically that he misses A and he's so sad. I can't make it better and it's just killing me to see my baby so heartbroken. His daycare provider gives out photo albums to the parents every year full of pictures she's taken throughout the year. So we look at those alot, we talk about missing A alot and how she probably misses him too. What else can I do? I get that he's greiving and he needs to and that it won't last forever, but I hate seeing him have to go through this.<br><br>
He doesn't like change at all anyways and to have someone that's always been a part of life just gone is devastating. He does do great at daycare and has several "best friends", but it's not the same with A gone.
 

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My dd did this when her favorite teacher at the school left when she was in kindergarten. I viewed it as grieving and focused on being there for her when she was sad. It took a few months to really process this and move on. She didn't cry daily that whole time but she did for a few weeks. After the crying passed she would still sadly talk about the teacher and remember her daily at first and then less and less often. I think that listening and being empathetic really went a long way towards helping her process this. For kids I think that losing someone like this is like losing someone to death because they will never see that person again. I think it is important to allow that grieving to come out.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>One_Girl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15373591"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My dd did this when her favorite teacher at the school left when she was in kindergarten. I viewed it as grieving and focused on being there for her when she was sad. It took a few months to really process this and move on. She didn't cry daily that whole time but she did for a few weeks. After the crying passed she would still sadly talk about the teacher and remember her daily at first and then less and less often. I think that listening and being empathetic really went a long way towards helping her process this. For kids I think that losing someone like this is like losing someone to death because they will never see that person again. <b>I think it is important to allow that grieving to come out.</b></div>
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i totally agree. i think its also developmental. a typical age appropriate behaviour. i wont be surprised if he will be bringing up death pretty soon if he hasnt already done it.<br><br>
the thing i learnt from my dd is that she doesnt want me to jump in and fix things for her. but as One_Girl said she wanted me to just sit with her and empathise with her grief.<br><br>
maybe find some way of expressing that grief. like an art project. or writing her a letter which he dictated and you wrote and he decorated. or make a sculpture in his friends honour. something that he might enjoy doing. talk about the fun they had. ask questions.<br><br>
that is our story too. my dd nostalgically talked about a friend with whom we lost contact due to their family issues. we reconnected again and you should have seen them together? like they were never apart. it was so sweet.
 

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That's pretty much what we do now. He starts to get upset and we just sit and cuddle and I let him cry/talk himself out. I really do know that I can't make it better for him, but I hate seeing him hurt.<br><br>
Thanks for the ideas, he'd love doing those things!
 
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