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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been having problems in school with my 6 yr old son. He's been hitting other kids, for no reason his teacher says, and she's starting to make me feel like it's a behavioral/phychological problem. He's spending lunch in detention today because he punched a little girl in the caf yesterday. I feel rotten about this, and partly think it's harsh for a 6 year old. But I don't know what I can do. I do know from direct observance of his class room in past years (pre-k and K also I frequently sat in on his preschool classes) that the teachers never catch the triggering behavior, just the reaction. Many many times I've observed another kid picking on my kid (or others picking on each other) and then when the reaction happens, a hit or slap or verbal reaction, that's what the teacher sees and of course, the kid that was picked on and reacted is the only one that gets punished. Last year, I actually switched schools for my son because one of his teachers had a grudge against him from day one and was always saying, "Oh, Brian doesn't know how to behave, he needs to go back to pre-k." As the year went on, my son started to have a problem with hitting one particular classmate. I knew there had to be something triggering it, so one morning I observed the class. Sure enough, that kid started taunting my son with "Do you want to go back to pre-k, Brian? Do you?" So he whacked her. But of course the teacher only ever saw my son's hitting.
Another thing I'm very worried about is my son's habit of tuning people out and refusal to communicate sometimes. He watches alot of t.v. (or rather, movies on video). I'm worried that his brain is ruined, because he loves repeating lines and scenes from his favorite movies and sometimes doesn't want to stop that to talk about anything else. Many times he is perfectly lucid, having very mature intelligent conversations with me and others, and frequently I am amazed at his perceptions and opinions. But he's falling behind at school and I'm starting to feel like a bad mother. I've already decided to unplug the tv and only allow one movie on the weekends. Thankfully, he loves to play outside and that will help divert his attention away from his movies (I hope). I must say that many people who have observed him, including many of his teachers, say Brian is very bright. One friend of my mother's even said he exhibited some unusually intelligent behavior, for example, he has since he was very tiny, perceived objects by associating them with different geometrical shapes. Also, he knew the difference between a pentagon, hexagon, and octogon by age 4 (I think that's pretty cool!) He's also fascinated by music and memorizes songs and poems very easily.
Are these other problems a big deal? Part of me is worried that he's going to get labelled as a trouble maker and of course the public school system will not praise his unusual non-mainstream talents. Please, mommas, send me some positive feedback!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for your responses. I felt a chill go through me when I saw the first response from a mom that thought my son may have a type of autism.. I've been concerned for a couple of years about that because it seems that nowadays, just about any socially unacceptable behavior or "quirk" is a type of autism/asperger's disorder. I'm going to take my son to a counselor, both to see if there is indeed anything wrong with him, and to help him cope with a very ugly relationship his father and I have had (physical and emotional abuse, pathological lying, etc). My mother thinks his acting out at school is all related to that. (read my posts in single parenting to get a little history of my poor messed up family). Also, I didn't mention this in my original post, my son's quirky, acting out behavior seemed to really get bad after his dad kidnapped him (actually, it was a legal kidnapping.. story for another post) when he was 4 years old. He kept him away from me for 2 two week periods, with no warning or preparation. That was 2 summers ago, and since he came back, his personality has definitely been more volatile and troublesome. I have to say, as I've been able to tune his father's crazy behavior out and focus more on my kids, my son's outbursts at home are lessening. As for acting up at school, we'll see what the therapist suggests. I pray that he does not have a major psychological/developmental problem, but if he does, it's not the end of the world. No one said being a mommy was a picnic. Thanks again for all input.
 
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