I think I remember my babies going through a growth spurt around this time as well. Just keep drinking plenty and nursing as much as possible. I think it only lasted about a week for us. Hang in there!
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Wow! That is a really bad situation! Issues, huh?
Does he work 7 days a week? Can you get out for a 15 min walk with one baby at least on his days off if he has them? Exercise will really help with your stress. Can you both get out together for a walk with both babies in a stroller?
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Can you get medical help for your sore back? Chiropractic?
Do you have access to a car? Carry them down and put them in the car and go somewhere, like a park.
Or take them down and pop them in a stroller. Or sling one and push the other...
I attended a multiples LLL mtg for 5 yrs and the twin moms used strollers to get from the parking lot to the mtg. You could inform the leader ahead of time you are coming and maybe someone can be on the lookout for you to help you get inside. The socializing will make you feel so much better.
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You can find someone to help. Churches, girl scouts, libraries... A mother's helper once a week will be good for your sanity.
Moms of Multiples really need a support network! Do it for your babies.
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Have you had treatment? Sounds like you are still struggling quite a bit.
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Do you sometimes go shopping as a family? it will take longer, but it is not fair to you or the babies to be inside for weeks at a time.
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That doesn't matter.
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At 5 months, they are ready for cup feeding. Maybe you can start to cut bottles out all together, start to use a cup for drinks (start with water, then go to the supplement, artifical milk or your milk) and then he will forget about fake nipples.
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What kind of pump do you have? Please call your Leader for pumping tips and support!
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Not familiar with Dr Luke, but MM is written by a LLL Leader mother of twins and is great for bfing and parenting ideas! I highly recommend it.
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I will be thinking of you.
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Originally Posted by twins10705 DaryLLL -- I am married, but even when DH is here, he has issues and I cannot expect more than him maybe keeping an eye on them for an hour or so a couple of times per week so I can rest and take a shower longer than 30 seconds. He is away working a lot, and is almost never here during the daylight hours. |
Does he work 7 days a week? Can you get out for a 15 min walk with one baby at least on his days off if he has them? Exercise will really help with your stress. Can you both get out together for a walk with both babies in a stroller?
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| About taking the babies down the stairs, one in a sling and carrying the other: sorry if the answer is obvious(I am slightly sleep-deprived these days), but what am I supposed to do once I get down the stairs? They weigh between 14 and 16 pounds each and with being so tired and having a sore back and knees, I wouldn't be able to carry them around like that for more than a minute or so and still be able to make it back up those stairs. |
Do you have access to a car? Carry them down and put them in the car and go somewhere, like a park.
Or take them down and pop them in a stroller. Or sling one and push the other...
I attended a multiples LLL mtg for 5 yrs and the twin moms used strollers to get from the parking lot to the mtg. You could inform the leader ahead of time you are coming and maybe someone can be on the lookout for you to help you get inside. The socializing will make you feel so much better.
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| No, I do not have a support person -- this has been suggested...but I am new to the area and have no friends or family here. |
Moms of Multiples really need a support network! Do it for your babies.
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| I am not able to go out and be social, the neighbors we have I wouldn't trust with a pet much less my baby. I was basically on my own throughout pregnancy, bedrest, c-section recovery, NICU hell, and ever since...I'm not complaining about this though, I feel lucky that my babies are healthy and alive today. I am really not a phone person either...I have no patience for phone conversation. I use the phone to pay bills, take care of business and that is it. This past year with the pregnancy and all has made me a bit reclusive, I am still working through PPD though it is not anywhere near as severe now as it was a couple of months ago. |
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| Dh brings home groceries once a week, so there is food in the house. |
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| I haven't talked to the LLL leader since last November, I doubt she would remember who I am anyway. |
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| About my supply...I actually don't think milk production has ever been my problem. My problem is a slow letdown, my son who is still taking formula supplements just gets too frustrated that the milk is not coming out as fast as he desires. He will act the same way if I use stage 1 avent bottle nipple -- he needs stage 2 to be content, but I am trying to wean him down to the slower one so he hopefully will get used to an even slower flow. If anyone has heard of ANYTHING that improves let-down I am all ears. |
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| I would so love to be able to pump extra milk to be able to supplement ds with that, and maybe even build a freezer stash....but I have no luck with the pump, and very little with hand expression. |
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| I don't think I have "mothering multiples", but I do have a few books on the topic such as Dr. Luke's. |
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| Thanks for the replies, I am hoping it is just a little phase and he will start taking less and not more supplement soon. |
Some quick thoughts.
First of all, you're doing awsome for getting that breast-milk into your babies after so much struggle. Congratulations to you for being such an incredible woman. Your babies are lucky to have such a strong, mindful and caring mother.
It sounds like one of those times when you have to pretend you're not reclusive. You need some community support. Please reach out. I think you should call your LLL and tell her what you have told us. The situation you are in does not sound healthy. But you obviously need some support in breaking the cycle you're slipping into. Don't sugarcoat it. Lay it out there to her and really let her know what's going on. The worst case is she won't be of much help. But I doubt that would be the case.
Is there a crisis line in your area? I know the name is dramatic. But their job is more than just talking people down from window-ledges. They have lists of resources available for people in your situation. Maybe there's a moms of multiples group in you area. Maybe there's a group of elderly ladies who love to go and help out mamas. You never know unless you call. This is not the time to be shy. I totally know the feeling of it. But really it's imperative that you have some real-life support.
Call your local community centre and see what programmes they offer. Pick something and decide you're going to go and do it. If you don't drive, call a cab. You can plan a couple of days in advance for the outing so you have everything ready and can do as Daryl suggested--down those stairs and into the cab.
Is there a place you can lock up a stroller downstairs so you can just leave it there and bring the babies up and down by hand?
I'll be thinking of you, mama, as you move through this challenging time in your life.
Remember, baby-steps. One little thing at a time to get you feeling supported and less alone. Your babies will grow and the three of you will gain more and more independence with each passing month.
You are doing right by your kids. Now do right by their mama ok?
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First of all, you're doing awsome for getting that breast-milk into your babies after so much struggle. Congratulations to you for being such an incredible woman. Your babies are lucky to have such a strong, mindful and caring mother.
It sounds like one of those times when you have to pretend you're not reclusive. You need some community support. Please reach out. I think you should call your LLL and tell her what you have told us. The situation you are in does not sound healthy. But you obviously need some support in breaking the cycle you're slipping into. Don't sugarcoat it. Lay it out there to her and really let her know what's going on. The worst case is she won't be of much help. But I doubt that would be the case.
Is there a crisis line in your area? I know the name is dramatic. But their job is more than just talking people down from window-ledges. They have lists of resources available for people in your situation. Maybe there's a moms of multiples group in you area. Maybe there's a group of elderly ladies who love to go and help out mamas. You never know unless you call. This is not the time to be shy. I totally know the feeling of it. But really it's imperative that you have some real-life support.
Call your local community centre and see what programmes they offer. Pick something and decide you're going to go and do it. If you don't drive, call a cab. You can plan a couple of days in advance for the outing so you have everything ready and can do as Daryl suggested--down those stairs and into the cab.
Is there a place you can lock up a stroller downstairs so you can just leave it there and bring the babies up and down by hand?
I'll be thinking of you, mama, as you move through this challenging time in your life.
Remember, baby-steps. One little thing at a time to get you feeling supported and less alone. Your babies will grow and the three of you will gain more and more independence with each passing month.
You are doing right by your kids. Now do right by their mama ok?
You need some help. Even if you can hire a neighborhood girl to help you with dishes or laundry or anything, you need help. You need to call the LLL back. Who cares if she won't remember you? She will help you anyway. That's part of her job. You are doing such a good job thus far, you're a very strong woman and wonderful mother. You are doing a lot of work and you just need some support. Go grocery shopping with your husband. Go to the park on his day off. Do anything out of the house. Go for walks. Anything. You need to get some outside air and sunlight every day if possible, if only for just 15 minutes. You will feel so so much better. You need to talk to your doctor about ppd as well.
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It gets easier mama. Fortunately, there is help available. Find it! Seek out the help and information that will better your life.
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Wow. Reading this post brings back memories of when my son was born. Don't get me wrong- I had a full term single baby, I am not trying to imply that my situation was anywhere near as tough as yours- but I did have a csection, unexpectedly. I SO remember the days of doing nothing but nursing. Some days I felt like I was pinned to the couch by a 10 pound baby who was trying to suck all the life right out of me!! I had my mother, sister and two good friends who had breastfed, so I felt really good in that way... I am in awe of you for bfing twins for so long- you definitely could benefit from LLL. Our meetings here were awesome- the first time I went I did not know anyone but I am still in contact with some of the people I met there.
Call the leader. Find out if someone could help you get to a meeting. You need to get out of the house. The longer you stay cooped up inside, the harder it will be for you to get out. The first time I took Joe to the store, I felt so nervous- that I would drop him, or that someone would breathe on him... but I knew I had to do it, so I did.
Also- LLL would be a good place to look for a mother's helper- maybe one of the leaders or long-time members has a teenager who would be willing to come over & help you a few times a week. You need some help, mama.
You sound like you are completely sleep deprived & at the end of your rope. You deserve to have YOUR needs met- if you are not a whole, complete person, you cannot be the best mom for your little ones.
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: My hat is off to you for the job you have done so far... you are amazing.
Call the leader. Find out if someone could help you get to a meeting. You need to get out of the house. The longer you stay cooped up inside, the harder it will be for you to get out. The first time I took Joe to the store, I felt so nervous- that I would drop him, or that someone would breathe on him... but I knew I had to do it, so I did.
Also- LLL would be a good place to look for a mother's helper- maybe one of the leaders or long-time members has a teenager who would be willing to come over & help you a few times a week. You need some help, mama.
You sound like you are completely sleep deprived & at the end of your rope. You deserve to have YOUR needs met- if you are not a whole, complete person, you cannot be the best mom for your little ones.
Much to my own -and everyone's- suprise it turns out I'm a [email protected] when it came to my now DH (then just guy I was living with) trying to shrug off being a father. I know about evil mothers too. I was deathly afraid my 1st would be a girl and that if that were to happen we would repeat the truly disfunctional cycle that seems to be mothers/daughters in my family on that side.
I was really a shrew to my dh that 1st year after our ds was born. If he was screwing up I told him. People were suprised that we were still together a yr later when we got married. BUT... He knew were I stood and what he did pissed me off, and we learned alot. Now we hardly ever argue and I hardly every shrew out on him. It worked out.
Things will get better. Babies grow. Take care of you. Get help from anyone you need to. Really check into those groups, and maybe ask your dc pedi if they know of any support groups in your area. Most of the do I've found.
Warm Squishy Feelings..
Dyan
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I was really a shrew to my dh that 1st year after our ds was born. If he was screwing up I told him. People were suprised that we were still together a yr later when we got married. BUT... He knew were I stood and what he did pissed me off, and we learned alot. Now we hardly ever argue and I hardly every shrew out on him. It worked out.
Things will get better. Babies grow. Take care of you. Get help from anyone you need to. Really check into those groups, and maybe ask your dc pedi if they know of any support groups in your area. Most of the do I've found.
Warm Squishy Feelings..
Dyan
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