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Is this CIO?

1025 Views 23 Replies 17 Participants Last post by  MammaKoz
Would you consider this letting your child Cry It Out if you have tried everything and nothing is working....
We put ds on us and he just kicks and screams (usually during a "fussy" period late at night). We have both decided to just let him do it because he gets tired and eventually sleeps. We ARE holding him and telling him it's okay....but to some degree we are "letting" him cry (I tell myself that it releases tension).
What do you think?
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Well if you are there with him and soothing him it is not CIO... I think CIO is more when you plop him in the crib and leave the room... like "okay, I can't deal with you and so you're on your own".

It sounds like maybe he is gassy, or just fussy. I don't know how old he is and so it is hard to say. Do you have a big yoga ball? I know that this always worked for us when our babe was young, and gassy and just couldn't settle down. You sit on it and hold the baby and bounce and bounce and bounce
If you don't have one, or that doesn't work - I'm sure you have tried most of these, but what about walking in a stroller or driving in a car? A warm bath, or a tummy massage?

I think sometimes if a baby just needs to cry to let the stress out (which IMO is a real thing) it is a different kind of cry then the "oh my gosh my tummy hurts" cry... in which case the bouncey ball won't work as well. My baby only had to do this occaissionally and not every night.

Good luck.
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As long as you are interacting in some way then it's not cio IMO
I think as long as you are with him and he knows that you won't leave him and are doing everything you can to comfort him, then it's not CIO. To me, CIO is when you leave the room, close the door, and hope the baby just gives up.

Having said that, have you tried rocking him, bouncing him, slinging him, massage, etc.? Maybe the No Cry Sleep Solution might have tips for you? I imagine you have already thought of all these things, but just thought I'd ask.
sorry I didn't mention it....he's only 2 months old. He was a LOT worse (with the gas and crying) and seems to be getting better by the day. It seems like it's at the same time every day and he can usually be consoled...just not during that 2 hour period.
Thanks for the input, ladies!
oops! I posted this twice somehow! sorry =)
definately not CIO.

He has real reasons to cry, whatever they may be and should be allowed to cry. it's his only way of getting his message across. anti-CIO isn't about shutting the kid up and never allowing his to cry, its about NOT lditching them alone when their too young to understand or ask for help for you're own covience.

there is a huge difference in letting a baby cry and making a baby CIO ykwim?

FWIW, my babes both cried a lot as babies reguardless of who held them. both very colicky, gassy and refluxy. nothign I did help really. and sometimes I even did have to put them in the crib/bed/sofa alone for a bit just so I could back away for a bit and think. hearing a kid cry ALL DAY LONG and not knowing what to do will send you into a break down quickly! not for CIO purposes, but b/c I was about to fall apart and it was scaring me!

have you considered giving them gas drops? if that didn't help I'd ask a pratitioner for advice b/c he's cryign for a reason. try to figure out why. a thrashing cry isn't *usually* justa tired cry. usually it's a pain cry.... then again you'd know better b/c he's yours! =) trust your instincts over anything else.
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If you are holding him, talking to him and trying to make him feel safe and loved, it is not CIO. You are doing everything you can, and sometimes even that is not enough to make a babe stop crying... Hang in there, it WILL get easier and you are doing such an amazing job!!
Not CIO in my opinion....My newest DD has a couple times a day where she gets tired and fussy and won't BF and is hard to console before she finally gives into sleep but she is not left in a room to cry in a crib for who knows how long to fall to sleep.

I appreciate your opinions. Sometimes it's just so hard to hear your baby cry and cry and think that maybe there's something ELSE you should be doing. Yes, he's gassy and fussy and we've tried nearly everything. We're just waiting for him to outgrow it now.

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Do you cosleep? Do you have a night routine? Maybe you can just adjust your bedtime. DD gets fussy when she is ready for bed. Maybe your ds just wants to go to bed.
mine did that until about 3 months...or slightly less-- maybe 2.75 months

dr.sears calls it "happy hour", but for us happy hour got draaaaaawn out most of the time. Now he is fine and is FINALLY letting dad soothe him successfully

Not much longer for you is my guess!
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Try going for a walk outside in the evenings during his fussy period. My son was like this and the outdoors tended to soothe him.
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Maybe colic? Have you tried any of the colic drops (can't remember the name)?
Have you tried altering your diet? As soon as I figured out ds was intolerant of garlic,onion, beans, cabbage, anaything spicey, dairy, broccoli, and cauliflower, our gas problems and sleep related problems got alot better. I also used Baby Ovol right before he nursed and it seemed to help alot. Made the farts and burps come out easier.
Thank you everyone...I appreciate your help. When he gets like that, we go down a list of things to try. I can't imagine that it's anything but fussiness on his part because it's only during a certain time of day. He is gassy and poopy all day, but it doesn't bother him any other time of day. Make sense? I was so worried about it and finally just accepted that he's a sensitive baby and that we will just have to let time work it all out.
By the way, I love the "Happy Hour" quote! Too bad alcoholic drinks can't be involved!!

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Have you read HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK? Our babe started doing the "happy hour" thing at 3 weeks, and we were a wreck. Someone suggested the book, we used the techniques, and she has never cried for more than 10 minutes. It has helped many of my friends also. We used the method until she was 5 Months. Oh, and it also helped her sleep better. Best of luck to you
Water helped soothe my colicky babe. Try using a bucket instead of a baby bath, so he can be in a more womblike position, or else put him in the bath with you.
Also, it could be worth starting a food diary, in case it doesn't get better with time. HTH.
I second the Happiest Baby on the Block. Swaddling was a life saver for us.
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