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All the time, I read on MDC about the idea of the working mother having "other people raise their children" or wanting to be a SAHM because you don't want other people to "raise their children".<br><br>
While I know this <i>is</i> <b>MDC</b> and and MDC promotes AP, I cant help but to notice a "working mama's" forum here. I skimmed through their once or twice and...their are (out of the home) working mamas with children of every age group.<br><br>
So my question is, isn't a tad disrespectful for the working mothers here on MDC to imply that they are not raising their children if they are working or going to school outside the home? It seems like a contradiction to me if we have a forum on MDC.
 

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The people who made the forums aren't the same people who post. There are some people who think it's horrid to let someone else "raise their children" just as there are some people who think its ok to perform medically unnecessary mutilating cosmetic surgery on their children. Both are disrespectful.
 

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I don't really care if other people think I'm not "raising my children" when I go to school or WOH. That says a lot more about them than it does about me.
 

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It takes a village to raise a child, or so the saying goes. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my "village" helping my children on their journey from childhood to adulthood.<br><br>
I don't have enough time to get offended by statements such as the one listed in the OP. We're doing what is best for our family. If I didn't work, dh would have to work longer hours and then he wouldn't get to be home as much as he is.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>2Sweeties1Angel</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7933950"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't really care if other people think I'm not "raising my children" when I go to school or WOH. That says a lot more about them than it does about me.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: It kinda makes me chuckle a bit because it's glaringly obvious that they really don't know what the heck they're talking about. It's easy to dismiss for that reason. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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You Mamas are a lot bigger than me - it makes me cringe when people say stuff like that to me. "I just can't stand the thought of letting someone else raise my kids!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Um, HELLO? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It really gets to me.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>A&A</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7933952"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It takes a village to raise a child, or so the saying goes. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my "village" helping my children on their journey from childhood to adulthood.<br><br>
I don't have enough time to get offended by statements such as the one listed in the OP. We're doing what is best for our family.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I'll even go so far as to admit that I don't <i>have</i> to work, but I <i>choose</i> to work. I love my job, and it makes up a small portion of "who I am". Granted I generally only work out of the house 2 - maybe 3 - days a week, but I would not change it for anything. I very very VERY carefully chose who would care for my children in my absence, and feel that they are being taken care of in ways that reflect my child-rearing philosophy.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KnitterMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7934017"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You Mamas are a lot bigger than me - it makes me cringe when people say stuff like that to me. "I just can't stand the thought of letting someone else raise my kids!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Um, HELLO? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It really gets to me.</div>
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It used to upset me more in the past. Now I have the utmost confidence in what I'm doing and who I am as a mother, student, worker, person. When I used to be a SAHM, I was living on welfare and confused the notion of increased social services for mothers with the idea that it is unfair that the government should push us into letting 'someone else raise our kids'. After living a few more years and gaining some wisdom and knowledge in such matters, as well as experience, I really have learned that the idea is very ignorant and naive. I can't really get angry at people for being naive and ignorant. However, it can be infuriating when they don't acknowledge their gap in logic even after it's clearly pointed out to them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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As to the question of disrespect, I think it depends in which forum those statements were posted. If it was posted in the SAHM forum, then no, I don't think it was disrespectful. If it was posted in the Working/Student Mama forum, then, absolutely, it was disrespectful.<br><br>
Everyone has personal morals and values that they feel very strongly about. I have been on both sides of the issue and I can honestly say I understand them both. I don't believe either idea is naive or ignorant. I think it is all about where a person is at in their own lives.<br><br>
An attached parent is an attached parent whether they are SAH or WOH.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>2Sweeties1Angel</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7933950"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't really care if other people think I'm not "raising my children" when I go to school or WOH. That says a lot more about them than it does about me.</div>
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>A&A</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7933952"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It takes a village to raise a child, or so the saying goes. I am blessed to have wonderful people in my "village" helping my children on their journey from childhood to adulthood.<br><br>
I don't have enough time to get offended by statements such as the one listed in the OP. We're doing what is best for our family. If I didn't work, dh would have to work longer hours and then he wouldn't get to be home as much as he is.</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamajama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7933992"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: It kinda makes me chuckle a bit because it's glaringly obvious that they really don't know what the heck they're talking about. It's easy to dismiss for that reason. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I totally agree with all of the above!
 

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I think it's rude no matter where it's posted. And I'm like, "helloooo!? What about your husband, lil miss SAHM? Isn't he raising his own children, too?"<br><br>
That always seems to do it. And I am a SAHM. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Even, most of the time, a proud one. You gotta do what you gotta do in this life.<br><br>
Mostly, I think most people's parenting "ideals" are much more a matter of rationalizing our own circumstances than a matter of philosophy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I can totally see how people think their own setup is the One True Way to raise kiddos.
 

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It is more than a tad disrespectful, it's also very silly.<br><br>
Clearly, the women who think this will just have to face the facts that they are raising their children ALL BY THEMSELVES because by virtue of their husband's working, the husbands <i>can't possibly be raising their own children</i>.<br><br>
Those poor fathers!!
 

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I don't get upset over it. It is a reality that I HAVE to work and I HAVE to go to school so that I am able to raise my children. Otherwise I'd be sitting at home collecting a welfare check because if I don't work, no one is... and if I continue to work minimum wage jobs, I'm going to continue being poor... this the reason I'm back in school.<br><br>
Other people just cannot put themselves into a single mother's shoes when they say that.
 

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I'm a single SAHM, but I've also been a working mom, and you can be *sure* that in both cases, *I* was the one raising my kids!
 

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I used to think more black & white on this issue. I was a SAHM and I didn't want ppl outside my family to help me raise my kids.<br><br>
Now, as a student, I'm appreciative of the folks who help me. After next week, my kids won't be in daycare anymore and I wrote a letter to the staff thanking them for helping our family. I wrote the letter 2 weeks ago and they still keep thanking me "for such a nice letter". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I do think it is disrespectful. It perpetuates the mommy wars and on the other side of the coin it's similar to the statement, "It must be nice to be able to stay at home."<br><br>
I've learned a lot from both my sisters. On sister works full time as a special ed teacher, the other works a few days a week as a mail carrier, and I don't work outside the house. We are all great mothers and we all raise our children. We have each sacrificed, willingly, different things to do what is best for our individual families. We Are All Great Mothers!
 

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And for alot of families, they may need care now but not later. I have been both a sahm and a wohm and they both have their advantages (for me and my family.) My husband, is a very involved Dad and he raises the kids as much as I do. And as a daycare provider, I can say that while I am part of the family for most families, I am not the one raising that child. I can't love like a Mom/Dad, or care for the child like a parent can. Sure, I love my kids that I care for, but I know it isn't the same as a parent and I don't expect it to be.<br>
What I "teach" (err...not my favorite term) at daycare is an extension of whatever the parent is doing. I always check in with my family's to see what they are currently doing and I would never think to call myself the one "raising the child". Goodness no!!<br>
When kids go to school (k-12) do the teachers raise the kids? I find the family to be the most important part of my job and to help a parent by providing care is a priveledge!
 

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its is disrespectful no matter where it is posted. Neither the SAHM or WOHM forums are "safe havens" where either group can disparage the other. To me saying a working parent is allowing someone else to raise their children is extremely rude and hurtful.<br><br>
Also, I wholeheartedly agree with eightyferrettoes and charmander when they said what about the dads? So they aren't raising their children??<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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Most people I know get help in some way raising their children-both sahms and wohms. So I dont know why people only say that about wohms. It seems like a phrase people use to put other people and make them feel better about their choices.
 
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