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is this irresponsible?

698 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Arwyn
We have two babes now. Still nursing ds at 13 months. I have not had AF yet. We've talked about having a 3rd... and some days I *KNOW* I want another but some days I *KNOW* I don't.

My dh originally was against the idea of a 3rd... but then one day told me that all of his dreams were coming true and that if having 3 kids was one of mine that he wanted to make that happen for me.

I think he mostly needed some recovery/adjustment time from the second baby.
Anyway... we are having unprotected sex. I pray that if we are *meant* to be parents to another little spirit that I'll conceive and that if we aren't, I won't. Sometimes I have butterflies in my stomach with the excitement of having another, sometimes I worry. We'd have to get some other kind of car because I don't think we have room in ours for 3 car seats. We live pretty tightly now but I'm sure we could make it with three... We still have money to put into a savings account, we put money away for out kids college, we put money away for retirement...
Is it horrible to leave it up to chance like that? I would totally want another baby if we got preggo... I think I'd be okay if we didn't...
anyone else in the same boat?

you know, sometimes I look at my two when they are both sleeping and I look around the bed and my thought is always "there's room for one more". Sometimes though I feel the strain of giving two the attention I think they need and deserve and I wonder how I'd do three and still have any time for myself.

Just babbling. Sorry.
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All Mamas have the same concerns you do and if you didn't then you might be irresponsible

Don't forget you will be pregnant for 9 months so if you do get pregnant both of your toddlers will be older and you never know what the next 9-12 months could bring.

Of course I am looking forward to #5 so I must be

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I don't think it is irresponsible. I would say to wait until you feel a little more sure. I was on the fence until last month, I think 13 months is a trying age. My dd is almost 16 months now and I now know I want another. Something just clicked, and I got pp AF back, and I knew. It will happen for you too.
I don't know if I'd call it irresponsible. I feel the same way about having children. If you're meant to have a child or children then you will, If you're not then you won't. Since I was 19 years old, doctors all told me I would never be able to have children. I was crushed with the news at first. Then I met my husband in 1998. We had unprotected sex from the beginning. (I know, not smart) I had a baby boy in 2000. Again doctors couldn't believe it and said there is no way you will be able to conceive again. Well, I am due in September. So you see, if you are meant to have children you will. The one thing to really think about is are you prepared for another child right now. Then again, is anyone ever "really" prepared for a child?!
I can't see how this is irresponsible. If you are going to be happy to welcome another child into your family--then letting nature take her course is a fine thing to do. I think it is natural to be a bit ambivalent about subsequent children. I very much want a third, but there are times I look at my beautiful children and think, why would I mess with this?
It's not irresponsible if you are seriously thinking through and considering all of your options.

I have two and the youngest is 6mo. Today I was watching them play and I thought, I can just imagine another one playing right there. We are being careful but not too careful to prevent. I'd prefer to have mine 2yr apart or so, but we just trust God's timing in it all. And as for expense, I really don't see at this point how having one more will be all that expensive for a while. College is a long way off!
I think having unprotected heterosexual intercourse is always trying to conceive
but like PPs said, if you would welcome another one into your family, and there's no compelling medical/financial reason why another would be majorly damaging to the family you have now (if, I don't know, you had a high likelihood of dying in childbirth, or having another meant you couldn't feed the kids you have, or something completely crazy unlikely like that), then no, not irresponsible at all.
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