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I have friends who adopted a baby last year. She is Guatemalen (although they adopted her in the US) and they are caucasion although the mom has olive toned skin. Anyway..<br><br>
I saw them in the mall last year and they had their little girl in a stroller. I was taking to her and a group of people walked by and said "What a cute baby! She's so sweet! She looks Chinese!!! Is she Chinese??? She really looks Chinese!!!"...Huh???<br><br>
My friends just said "No, she's Guatamalen" and left it at that. But one of the people in the group kept saying "She looks SO Chinese!!"<br><br>
Is it just me or is that extremely rude? I think she looks like her mom and dad but has the coloring of her mom. Why do people feel so comfortable commenting on something like that?<br><br>
FWIW we babysat last year for them and took the baby out to eat and to a bookstore with us. Several people commented on how sweet she was and not a single person commented on the difference in her appearance from us. So I guess the comments in the mall last week took me by surprise!<br><br>
We're thinking about adopting at a later point and I'm wondering what we'll encounter..
 

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From my own experience as the pasty white mama to my gorgeous Guate girl and from what I've heard from other parents, unfortunately comments like that are common.<br><br>
I fluctuate between thinking people are rude, privacy-invading, oblivious, or some combination of the 3.
 

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It's unquestionably rude for that woman to keep commenting that way, but it's also entirely possible that a baby adopted from Guatemala would, in fact, be at least partly Chinese in ancestry.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Why do people feel so comfortable commenting on something like that?</td>
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Because, alas, most people are morons.<br><br>
If you are going to adopt and become a conspicuous family, you can expect to receive a lot of stupid comments. We are a white couple with two Chinese daughters, and we have gotten our share. You learn how to deal with it, mostly for your child's ears, not for the strangers.
 

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I have many friends via online who have adopted from Guatemala and several of their children do look a little chinese. So in that sense its not uncommon. But for strangers to continually comment on her nationality is very rude. I would have walked away myself. Thankfully no one has done this to u s although we did have quite a few strangers insist on telling us that she is older than we were told because at 6 months she had a full head of black hair. People were so sure that our agency had lied to us and that she was a year instead of 6 months, even after I assured them we had pictures from the day she was born.
 

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We have had adult Chinese people ask us if our daughter (from Guatemala) is Chinese!<br><br>
I think one of the reasons is that there has been a lot of publicity about Chinese adoptions, so people just assume...<br><br>
I have to say, in the realm of offensive, stupid comments, it's one of the better ones.
 

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I spent quite a bit of time in Guatemala while I was completing my MS, and it's not uncommon for Guatemalans and Chinese (or Asian) people to be confused. One, there were a lot of Chinese immigrants to Guatemala over the past century (or more), and two, indigenous people from the highlands of Guatemala share a lot of physical facial features with the Chinese (especially around the eyes, brow, and cheekbones). My advisor in grad school said something about Northwestern Asians and ancient Central American tribes sharing a lot of genetic markers, and possibly having a prominent (gentically) common ancestor. I read an article about it in National Geographic several years back, too....wish I could remember the year. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
When I was in Guatemala, one of our researchers on the team was Japanese (who happened to look somewhat Chinese). He was often asked if he was Guatemalan, Kiche, or Mam. Nope! Japanese! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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We occasionally get the reverse--our Korean born son is sometimes thought to be Hispanic/Mexican. No one has been rude about it, however, and they all tell me how cute/handsome/adorable he is<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. Actually, we have never really had any negative comments that I can recall, although we did have a bad restaurant experience that we suspect was related. TBH, I suspect that we do make an interesting looking crew--I am glow in the dark pale with brown hair (and I have NA ancestry, and have dark almond shaped eyes), DH is ruddish but fair complected and bald, DS1 is golden pale with blond hair, and DS 2 looks sterotypically Korean (and his features are considered very handsome by Korean standards). I personally think we all look great together <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I have had more than a few people comment about how cute my kids are and then ask stupid things like "They all have dark hair. After daddy?" (we're a lesbian couple). I am CC, DP is Hispanic and all 3 of our kids are CC/hispanic (2 of them are pasty white though, like me). People will ask stupid questions in general and I think you just have to figure out how you want to answer them.
 

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Hi, I'm not personally involved in adoption now, but read here for possible future information.<br><br>
I dated a great guy in college for a few years who was adopted from Guatemala as an infant. He told me that through the years, people sometimes had mistakenly thought he was from a Chinese background. I guess in reading this thread, it is not all that uncommon. Interesting.
 

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I agree with what's been said already: people say the darnedest things.<br><br>
What I get repeatedly is the following compound sentence: "Your children are so beautiful - they don't look anything like you." I just LOL in their face every time. Are they more confused by my children not looking like me, or how such an ugly mother could have such cute kids, you know?
 

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On the flip side, my dd is of Chinese heritage, but is often mistaken for latino or east indian. Even by people who are of that background themselves (ie. hispanic people thinking she's hispanic; indian folks thinking she's indian).
 

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In the past 3 years, people have commented/asked/suggested that my Guatemalan daugther is actually:<br><br>
*Chinese<br>
*Indian<br>
*Middle Eastern<br>
*Korean<br>
*Filipina<br><br>
No one has ever suggested that she is Latina/Hispanic though.<br><br>
Maggie
 

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Maybe you should move to Washington, DC.<br><br>
I am a single, straight, Caucasian woman who adopted from China when I was 51. I happen to know another single, straight, Caucasian Mom of Chinese children, who is almost my age. As we used to live near each other and our kids have always been close friends, we would often get together and take them to a local playground.<br><br>
At the playground, we often had someone make the assumption that we were a lesbian couple, and that all of the children belonged to both of us. Lesbians with Chinese kids are pretty common in DC, so I guess that it was a reasonable, if incorrect, assumption. And my daughter and the other woman's older daughter behaved a lot like sisters -- again, making the assumption a reasonable one.<br><br>
Sharon
 
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