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My DD who is in nursery school (3) didnt want to fork over a princess toy today at school when it was clean up time. The one teacher (of 2) the sat my daughter in the time out chair for 40 MINUTES because she started to cry. The sat her there for 40 MINUTES (till it was time to leave) because she continued to cry!~ Not to mention the teacher told me she missed circle time, and snack time because she was too busy crying. She was given a snack 3 minutes (teachers words) before it was time to leave, was able to eat one of her 3 pretzels and then it was taken away becasuse it was time to go home. That is when i walked in to pick my 3 year old up while she was sobbing horribly!<br>
I am not looking for a new school for herm but i am having a hard time letting her go again because of the way she was treated here. She went to this school last year and had the same two teachers and it was great! They have seriously messed me up with leaving her anywhere now, and made her angry to the posint where she told me she wil NEVER play with that princess doll ever again in her class. (she doesnt know she isnt going back yet) I talked to the teacher and got NOWHERE! Was also told "after all she is your first 3 year old, i have had many 3 year olds in my class for many years" Yeah, she IS my first 3 year old, but i KNOW my 3 year old! She also asked that i not question how she runs her class... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I told her i am not questioning that, i am questioning how my child is treated in HER CLASS! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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That's completely ridiculous and there is no way I would send my child back there. Ds1 is in his second year of preschool, and I have never seen a hint of anything like that by his teachers. They don't do anything remotely like time outs. Instead, they invest their energy in preventing and redirecting. They would have found another activity for her to engage in, or they would have worked with her come up with a solution, whether it be setting the doll in her cubby or saying good night to the doll or letting her sit with the doll at the snack table, or whatever. The gist of it is a good teacher works with the kids and knows how to make it a win win situation, rather than a power struggle and discipline situation.
 

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That's just crazy. Why can't you question how she teaches the class?<br>
It's still your child when she's in *her* class.
 

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nak<br><br>
I'm sorry that happened to your dd. This so-called teacher obviously does not know what she's doing. I'd question her qualifications. Time out for 40 minutes!? That's soooooo inappropriate I am totally speechless! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I would think that would at least be on the edge of something that gets them reported to whatever licensing authority there is, for inappropriate punishment. Besides not letting her go back, please write to the school, and consider writing to the authorities. Yuck.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I wouldn't send her back either...she doesn't deserve to be treated that way!! Maybe pulling her will give them the heads up they need, but I doubt it...
 

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Well, if you maybe think of it in terms of - do you really want your daughter to go and be with someone who is that remarkably unempathetic and obviously stunted in her creative problem-solving solutions? The teacher can't find a way to better help the child to move through and beyond the issue and is that fixated on control? Bleh. Not somebody I'd want to learn too much from, and not a good first experience of school.<br><br>
It might be that this teacher is very good with much younger children but not older ones - at around three they're verbal AND strong-willed. Perhaps that explains why last year was easier. She might have this method of dealing with children from three and up. A forty minute time out (if using time out at all) is really repulsive and unecessary.
 

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I'd pull my child out of that school so fast the director's head would spin.<br><br>
That's not riduculous, that's abusive! This person knows *nothing* about children, plus she's broken the law. A child cannot be denied food as punishment.<br><br>
What else goes on that you don't even know about?
 

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Time out? FOr 3 year olds? Not a good sign in the first place. But forty minutes? Punishment. A sign that the teacher is not actually in control, and way out of porportion and inappropriate for a child that age.
 

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I agree that this would be enough to have me pull my child. And that may be all you are up for right now. But, if you have it in you, please meet with the director and explain why you are taking this action. The teacher clearly thinks that 1. This is an OK thing to do to a child and 2. That parents have no right to question what she is doing. Both are wrong. The director SHOULD want to hear about both because they are going to cost money as more parents pull children. If you can, and I know its hard, please reach out to help the children still in that classroom.
 

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That is AWFUL! I agree with the previous poster. Pull her out and have a meeting with the director to let her know exactly why. If my child's teacher was using a 40 minute time out you can bet your ass I'd be questioning how she runs her class <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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That is so wrong.<br><br>
I'm not a fan of time-out in schools to begin with, but 40 minutes??? That really is bordering on abusive, especially when you include the fact that she wasn't allowed to have snack.<br><br>
Secondly, not wanting to give up a toy at clean-up time is such a normal behavior for children this age, so it's a little unnerving that this teacher has no other ideas for dealing with it. And children should not be punished for crying, for heaven's sake. What the heck is that about?<br><br>
I'd be LIVID.
 

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Please take her out. Please, PLEASE file a complaint with your local Better Business Bureau or whatever licensing agency this day care is affiliated with. PLEASE. Please do not let other people, ignorant of how their children will be treated, sign up for this hellhole.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annh</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My DD who is in nursery school (3) didnt want to fork over a princess toy today at school when it was clean up time. The one teacher (of 2) the sat my daughter in the time out chair for 40 MINUTES because she started to cry. The sat her there for 40 MINUTES (till it was time to leave) because she continued to cry!~ Not to mention the teacher told me she missed circle time, and snack time because she was too busy crying. She was given a snack 3 minutes (teachers words) before it was time to leave, was able to eat one of her 3 pretzels and then it was taken away becasuse it was time to go home. That is when i walked in to pick my 3 year old up while she was sobbing horribly!<br>
I am not looking for a new school for herm but i am having a hard time letting her go again because of the way she was treated here. She went to this school last year and had the same two teachers and it was great! They have seriously messed me up with leaving her anywhere now, and made her angry to the posint where she told me she wil NEVER play with that princess doll ever again in her class. (she doesnt know she isnt going back yet) I talked to the teacher and got NOWHERE! Was also told "after all she is your first 3 year old, i have had many 3 year olds in my class for many years" Yeah, she IS my first 3 year old, but i KNOW my 3 year old! She also asked that i not question how she runs her class... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I told her i am not questioning that, i am questioning how my child is treated in HER CLASS! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:</div>
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<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jaw2"> Whoa! That's not nuts that's most likely illegal. Have you talked to the director? I'm assuming they have their discipline policy in writing and they give it to parents, somehow I doubt that forty minute time outs and denial of food is a part of the policy. Most high quality daycares use the "one minute for every year old the child" time outs and only use them in "extreme circumstances" (basically never). I bet if you complain the teacher will be gone VERY quickly. After I pulled DS out of his former daycare, the director fired almost the entire staff immediately and my complaint was just that they weren't very friendly and kept the kids in the playpens too much.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annh</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My DD who is in nursery school (3) didnt want to fork over a princess toy today at school when it was clean up time. The one teacher (of 2) the sat my daughter in the time out chair for 40 MINUTES because she started to cry. The sat her there for 40 MINUTES</div>
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Former elementary and preschool teacher here: By any educational standards, it is considered inappropriate to leave a child in time out for more than 1 minute for each year of their age. If it does not work past that, it is not going to work. What they did is most likely not illegal or unethical from a business point of view (in other words it is not going to affect their licensing) but it is wrong. These gals have been watching the nanny show too much.<br><br>
You have the right to tell them, and the school administrator, not to put dd in time out ever again. Or, you can have a chat with the admin person and pull dd out altogether and call everyone you know in the school and urge them to do the same.<br><br>
If it was me, dd would be outa there.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><br><br>
Poor baby, is she doing okay?
 

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wow. I do not have a problem with time outs in principle but that is just wrong. 40 minutes!! for crying!!! for not wanting to put a baby away!! insane (IMHO). what is up with that.
 

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A bunch of pps beat me to it, but I'd agree with reporting them to the state childcare licensing authority. First, I'd request that the teacher put what happened in writing so that you have proof. I'd say something like, 'I would like to have a meeting to discuss the discipline policy w/ you and would first like you to write out what happened on the day my dd was placed in time out. Please include what she did and your response to the problem.' If you phrase it in a way such that she doesn't start to get defensive and lie (don't threaten to bring in the director or licensing agency yet), you may get a somewhat accurate written report.<br><br>
Then, I'd write a letter including her written account of what happened (if it is at all accurate) and send it to the director stating that you are removing your child from this facility for this reason. Copy it to the state licensing agency too. Even if it isn't illegal, it is cause for concern and they may be audited more frequently.
 

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I'm *really* upset that she was punished for crying. Even if the time out had been appropriate (3 minutes or whatever) she was punished for crying. Poor little thing...I cannot imagine punishing my DD for being upset. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I would definitely pull your DD and talk to the director. And maybe bring your concerns in writing--it shows you are serious, and maybe the director won't think you are exaggerating. Maybe she won't anyway, but it's good to be prepared.<br><br>
Gah. 40 minute time out and no snack for <i><b>crying</b></i> I cannot imagine. Does she expect the kids to be "seen and not heard" too? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 
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