[MeredithMommy]

Right now Dh is working and I am a SAHM. Sometimes I feel really selfish because I refuse to work and leave our dd, especially since Dh seems to be unable to make enough money in his own.

Dh has had plenty of good jobs that would pay the bills, but they were too hard or his boss was mean to him, or they treated him unfairly, on and on......

So now he is working a $8.00 an hour job with no insurance, and it's all we can do to pay the house pmt, the electricity and the phone and car insurance. I feel guilty for buying groceries!

Job service got him an interview for a plant 1 1/2 hours away from our house where he would make 17.00 an hour to start out. With insurance too.

He acts like he doesn't even want to go to the interview b/c he thinks the drive is to far for him to work there.

What do you think?

 

[mamalisa]

An hour and a half is a big commute, I've done it. But considering your financial situation, I can't see how it's too much to ask. Does he have a better solution? What is his reasoning for not wanting to take the job? Is he worried about family time? It might be hard to get used to for everyone at first, but sometimes you have to sacrifice a little to have more.

 

[RyvreWillow]

Wow! $17/hour is awesome! Personally, I think the 1.5 hour commute is nothing, when compared to double pay. My husband works about 40 minutes from home, and gets paid minimum wage (hates the job, by the way), lol, so your hubby could do alot worse!

Only negative i can see, is that it's more time away from you and the kids because of the commute...but...it would be very hard to say no. Maybe you could find ways to make up for the lost time, like something special to do with the family on his days off?

 

[Corvus]

If he gets the job, would you consider moving closer to the job? The longest commute I ever did (and would ever do again) was a half-hour. I couldn't stand it, and that was before I had a child. But then again, I really really value my free time and I don't like driving. Sounds like your husband feels the same way.

So unless he can find a similar well-paying job nearby, he should definitely go for this job. And maybe you can look into moving an hour or so closer to this job.

 

[shelbean91]

My dh drives at least an hour to work each way b/c when he was looking for a job that paid enough, that's where he found one. It totally sucks and he hates it, but he's on 12 hr days, so he works 3 days one week, 4 the next and it's not SO bad. He goes in at 6am when the traffic isnt' too horrible yet.

To double the salary, yes, I'd do it. Or, work it out so you can get a job at night or on the weekend when your dd can be with him- that way you get more money, he gets to see dd more one on one, and he doesn't have to take a job he doesn't want.

 

[momtoTnT]

I would hate having that much of a commute - as it stands we both work 30 minutes away from home and that seems too long on most days - it really does cut into family time outside of the car. If moving closer is a possiblity, then I'd do it. Another thing to consider is transportation costs - I know our gas expenses went up, along with maintenance (oil changes are a lot more frequent now) etc. Just something else to think about

I agree witht he PP who suggested that if he really doesn't want to do it, working it out so you work pt nights/weekends would be another solution to the financial aspect of it.

 

[CJNeeley]

Ok, I'm an options person. I generally like knowing as much as possible before ruling something out. So I would probably encourage him, actually urge him, to go on the interview to see if the job is something he'd be happy at before deciding. (Nothing says he has to take the job just because he interviews, but if he doesn't he might miss out on finding something he'd like.)

That said, I'd honestly have a hard time letting my dh take a job with a 1.5 hr commute (like pp mentioned he'd be away too much, the car would get more wear and tear from the extra 15 hr/wk of driving/gas would add up, etc.) unless we really couldn't make ends meet and were bouncing checks and stuff I'm not sure the money would clinch it for me, even being double because family is more important to me than the stress of pinching pennies and doing without things--so my hubby would have to really like the job and feel like he'd be happier there. It's a lot harder to work longer hours at or drive long distances to get to a job you can't stand, so if he wouldn't be happy things wouldn't be any better and could even get worse. My hubby actually change from a job he was unhappy/bored at to one he really don't like and can barely stand plus it's longer hours and he never truly unwinds before having to go back the next morning. It stresses him out and seems to make him get sick more often, etc. It puts stress on the marriage and makes him a little less patient with the kids, and it's just not good for our family. He was unhappy and the new job paid more money so he went for it and we really regret it.

 

[MeredithMommy]

thanks for all your replies.

With the job Dh has now he is gone 9am to 7:30pm more often 8:30 or 9pm. So he really wouldn't be gone that much more. PRobably 11 hrs a day depending on what shift he got. Probably third UGH! His days off now are Wed and Sun and it is hard not having two days off together. HE would be of on Sat and Sun with this job and we would all like that more.

Oh this plant makes tires BTW, and I know it sucks in the summer B/c my dad works in a tire plant too, and boy does it get HOT!!!

$17 per hour would really pull us out of this hole fast. We really wouldn't be able to move closer though b/c we just bought the house next to MIL and FIL , and Selling it before we even move in would sure start a fight!!!

I think I am going to ask him to at least go to the interview. We'll go from there I guess.....

 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

A few years ago, probably 5 when gas prices were high also, dh had a job where he had to travel about 1.5 hours also. We were only renting, but when we figured in how much we were paying in gas, we could spend $300 more a month to spend on rent or a mortgage! We were shocked, we had moved farther away, because it was so expensive to find a decent place near where he worked! In reality, we would have been so much better off money wise and time wise to move closer to his work. Have you thought about gas prices and possibility of moving closer if the job works out?

 

[Book Addict Jen]

My husband feels so strongly that my place is to be with our children & raise them, that he has 2 jobs. He works UPS in the morning from 3:30-10:30 am & costco usually from 1:30-10 pm. I love my DH! So no I don't think you are asking too much.

 

[Music-mommy]

I would tell him to go for the interview and if he gets the job, you'll work something out. I wouldn't want my dh driving 3 hours/day, so I would offer to move closer. It's worth it. you'll have more time with dh, make more money and have a better family life.