Is your DH/SO on board?

996 Views 28 Replies 27 Participants Last post by Celtain, Apr 14, 2006

Maple Leaf Mama

Discussion Starter · Mar 28, 2006

How many of you have a like minded DH?
Or is your SO/DH one that questions every decision you make to be more natural?

My DH didn't fight me on the chemical cleaner issue, b/c I have developed sensitivites.
BUt, my new years resolution was to do at least ONE thing-hopefully more things that would help the environment and to keep it up all year.

I decided to buy a (plastic) bucket for grocery shopping rather than use bags.
His comment was Gee, I wonder how many plastic bags it took to make that bucket? And Don't expect ME to use that thing!
And What will I use to pick up dog poop if we stop using bags??

I can't get this man to read even ONE parenting book (was the same for pregnancy etc) Which makes me NUTS!
He tells me to just give him the run down.
Can we say laaazy?

He makes me pay for anything organic (my "special" food) even though he understands the benefits-especially to our DD.

He is making fun of my desire to boycott companies that use animal testing and my purchase of a Diva Cup (even though he said "OMG" when I told him how many tampons get trashed every year)

He's telling me my desire for a natural birth is absurd (emergency c/s the first time around) and I'm getting so crunchy he doesn't recognise me anymore.
(I was very UN crunchy when we started dating, But since DD have changed quite a lot) I could go on and on...

So I'm wondering if you have a DH who also wears DC in public (not JUST at home with the blinds closed LOL) ETC ETC....

1 - 20 of 29 Posts

MellyMel

· #2 · Mar 28, 2006

my husband was a little skeptical about all this "crunchiness" in the beginning, but now hes on board with the homebirthing/cloth diapering/ natural cleaners/ soap making/ etcetc my latest victory is his acceptance (and use) of cloth toilet paper

Oh yeah, and he's a 'baby hog' sometimes we argue (not a full blown argument) about why gets to wear the baby, and hes very proud to wear our son in the sling!

nikisager

· #3 · Mar 28, 2006

It is a constant battle with my dh, last week he bought a spray can of something called AXE deoderant, I told him to keep it at work and use it tehre, I didint want that kind of crap in the house where my kids have to breathe...he thought I was kidding till I packed it with his lunch.... When I told him I wanted to squat to have our last son, he asked me why? all woman have babies laying on there backs and it never hurt them.......

tibdoml

· #4 · Mar 28, 2006

DH agreed with the "science" part of the argument - chemicals, cancer, toxins, pesticides, etc.
We tried to go "granola" all at once and failed miserably.
Now we're taking baby steps and removing things here and there as we can.

Most times, I think DH is more crunchy than me. He has decided to purge some items when I'm not really ready to let them go.

DH is all for the sling, but refuses to wear it anymore (DS is 2). He wore it one or two times in px, but said it "felt weird on him." I didn't push it. He wore it most around the house when DS was a little baby.

Maybe try reasoning with him in a new way? Statistics and evidence go a long way for a "well-minded man" (please, no flames! no offense meant!!!)

All in all, it should be a family philosophy as much as possible. That will help guarantee your success.

Slabobbin

· #5 · Mar 28, 2006

2

I am "aggressive" and my DH is very passive. So he usually just smiles and goes along with whatever I do. It isn't that I control him it's just that he honestly just doesn't CARE.

But with the crunchy thing, I think he is digging it. I sent him some links on deo and mouth wash, etc. and he shocked me one night by coming in and throwing away his bottle of Listerine (something I would have never dreamed of, he was addicted to that stuff, lol). I think he kind of likes being "different".

He won't sling the baby though. He said he didn't want it "around his neck".

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tsfairy

· #6 · Mar 28, 2006

DH mostly goes along with my crunchiness, but he's still addicted to paper towels, and absolutely refuses to use cloth instead of toilet paper. He's done a lot of reading, and realizes that the non-chemical cleaning products are better for us and the environment, so doesn't put up much of a fuss.

He has his own sling (very manly - black with Batman trim LOL), but he's only used it a couple of times. He's just not physically comfortable wearing DS, but he will carry him all day long without complaint.

kewb

· #7 · Mar 28, 2006

My dh goes with the flow. Then again, I have yet to change something that really affects him.

maxwill129

· #8 · Mar 28, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellyMel
my husband was a little skeptical about all this "crunchiness" in the beginning, but now hes on board...

My DH was skeptical, too. And although I can't say he's really "on board", he does agree with my choices a lot more than he did. The one thing I do appreciate is that he tells me the home is my job. That it's where I work and so I can make those decisions, even if he thinks they're weird. He said he would hate if I came into his work and started fighting every decision he made, so he feels it's only fair to let me have a say at my job!

Shannon

Alkenny

· #9 · Mar 28, 2006

My DH still comes home from his visits to the store with stuff like Windex. *sigh*

hookahgirl

· #10 · Mar 28, 2006

My DH is cool with everything, except for cloth TP, which is his loss, not mine

We kind of treat the house as "my job" so 99.99% of the time he doesnt even question what I change!
Oh and I lucked out. I got the worlds laziest DH. So, if there are no paper towels, he wont go buy any, he will just grab cloth. No 409 cleaner, he will just use the bakeing soda.
I think he does things just 'cause they make me so happy, I am a dork like that. If he comes home fromt he market with the food in a canvas bag, I am just so happy/excited and he loves to see me that happy!
To the OP, I would use that with your DH. Tell him you know it may be rough for him to do some of the changes, but that it will really make you happy, and he should think about it that way!

And DH wore DD till she was about 10 months, now she is always on his shoulders!

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lotus.blossom

· #11 · Mar 28, 2006

I've always been on the crunchy side so my recent transition to ALL natural products isn't a surprise to my dh. What he does worry about is that I will go overboard and end up like my mom, who is on the very extreme side of natural.......

The only thing we hang onto is toilet paper and he has a little bottle of windex thats leftover that he will use on occasion even though lately he has been using my vinegar glass cleaner. I think he likes the savings and if I'm happy he's happy!

He says he won't mind slinging our son. And after touring our birthcenter and seeing the hospitals L&D he said that he would want me to have a homebirth if the birth center option wasn't available. I consider that a huge step.

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clane

· #12 · Mar 28, 2006

2

nikisager said:
It is a constant battle with my dh, last week he bought a spray can of something called AXE deoderant, I told him to keep it at work and use it tehre, I didint want that kind of crap in the house where my kids have to breathe...

Oh my that stuff just stinks! When DH tried it I felt like my throat was closing up and nose burned...Ugh. I told him I would not be buying anymore of it. Now if I could get rid of his colonge (too strong, but my mother bought it for him, so what do you do?!)

Yes, DH is having a jolly old time picking on me lately. When I put DD in cloth (still not in love with dipes we have), he will "rescue" her and change her into disposables and has starting tauntingly saying I'm Lady Granola of the woods or something similar. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not very natural yet, but making baby step changes in our home/lives: more natural household goods, more "real" foods vs all processed, parttime cloth diapering, trying to simply by reducing clutter. He doesn't even know about the plans for upcoming weekend projects, like the clotheline to install and the compost bin to build with the piled up leftover wood in the garage.

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TypicalSituation

· #13 · Mar 28, 2006

My husband is the same way as yours, maple leaf mama! He still uses "his" stuff like deodorant and his shampoo and body wash. He won't use cloth tp (yet). He is a little embarrassed about our cloth shopping bags. He is on board with everything else as long as I educate him. He likes his stuff because he wants to *smell good*. He is happy that we breastfeed and cloth diaper and AP in general. But he thinks I buy too much fruit! He is learning though.

EnviroBecca

· #14 · Mar 28, 2006

He's very much on board. We're about equally into natural living. We agree on parenting philosophy 99% of the time and general life philosophy almost as much. The sling is less comfortable for him (I think it's the lack of projecting hipbone) but he's willing to use it in public and never complains about the IDEA of it.

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elmh23

· #15 · Mar 28, 2006

For my dh, it depends.

He was totally on board with a natural delivery and cloth diapers and gentle discipline. He's cool with natural cleaning products because "all those chemicals can't be healthy." He's worn the sling a couple times out in public, but our dd hates the sling now unless sleeping and he'd rather just hold her in his arms (she's rather awkward when asleep in the sling and I myself can only do it for so long.)

He's totally on board with a healthier diet as long as I'm in my budget (which I never am, though I'm trying.) He's not on board with me cutting out as much meat as possible (I crave steak and pot roast and roast beef from time to time but other than that, I eat no other meats.)

He's not on board with a homebirth or not circing (though I think he's opening up on that one, esp. since he's said he won't fight with me when I'm pregnant, lol.) He's said in the past that dd should wean by age 2, but we'll see. There is no way he'd go no-poo, though I don't think I'd be able to either.

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naturalmaman

· #16 · Mar 29, 2006

2

My DH goes right along with my crunchiness--some things took a while like family wipes

but he is liking our money-saving AND a healthier way of living

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alexisyael

· #17 · Mar 29, 2006

As long as I don't force him to use products he doesn't want to use, my DH is fine with whatever I do. (He has his own shampoo, deodorant etc...) He doesn't use cloth wipes (but I myself go back and forth with using them, so I can't really blame him!) For the household stuff, he's OK with what we're using, but I have this feeling that if I weren't around, he'd go back to using more chemicals.

He was skeptical about using cloth diapers, but then changed his mind and now we're even thinking about EC (though that'll probably be mostly me... but we'll see).

He's as into organics as I am. And believes fervently in home birth. He isn't comfortable with UC, but says that "maybe for our second birth..." so his mind is semi-open, at least.

We're registered for a Baby Bjorn b/c that's the baby carrier he wants to use. (I got an ergo from a friend and he tried it out and a friend's BB and the BB was much more comfortable). Using a sling for more than a few minutes wouldn't be an option for him, since his back is in pretty bad shape.

He is as into gentle/ unconditional parenting as I am. Though he does have some some more mainstream parenting goals and doesn't think too much of homeschooling. (We've had the "join the boyscouts?" argument already. And he's very much into sports...)

He doesn't make fun of me for any of the things I do, but I wouldn't say he's overly crunchy.

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anniegirl

· #18 · Mar 29, 2006

This is a fun thread!

My dh is a bizarre combo of some things ultra-crunchy, some things oh so very not.

The crunchy: uses cloth tp, cloth dipes (though I have to make it as easy as a sposie for him, like an AIO or a pocket, I use pinned pfs and pull-ons), likes natural cleaners, after we had our second at a free-standing birth center he said if we have a third (I think we're done though) that we should have it at home, loves to co-sleep, totally supportive of ebf (he thinks I should be bfing our 2yo even MORE than I already do), no circ etc. I don't think he even batted an eye at my diva cup. Likes organic food, buys organic produce even more than I do.

The oh so very not crunchy: refuses to use canvas grocery bags (I forget them a lot though too), throws stuff away that should be donated because it's more convenient; loves paper towels. The other day he threw away a poopy pf! I couldn't believe it, I was so pissed! He wants a big, new gas guzzling truck. Comes home from the grocery with crap like Hamburger Helper

Won't use sling, but will use the ergo. Ummm...tons more, but I can't think.

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mimid

· #19 · Mar 29, 2006

My dh seems to just go with flow and lets me do what I want for myself. A lot of the things, if I explain them to him, he will do. Cloth bags...ok. Cloth pads...whatever you want. Cloth TP...not for him. Also, I tend to just buy what I want him to use (shampoo, soap, vits, etc.) He had a hard time with the no paper towel thing and refused to go to no paper napkins, but he has cut back on what he uses and is slowly using towels more.

A big thing was CDin and I finally said that I was going to do it whether or not I had his support but if I had to fight him on it I would. Then he started getting into it and trying to come up with ways to make it easier. (Poor man, thought it was the 50s I was going to force him to use prefolds and pins right from the start! He was so shocked when I told him he could just use velcro or snaps!

)

He is also big on "health" food and always asks me about natural remedies before going to the doctor. He also is a HUGE supporter of my no shoes rule and bought low-VOC paint without me asking.

I've found that the stuff I can do without informing him goes really smoothly and other stuff I need to sell to him.

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alexisyael

· #20 · Mar 29, 2006

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimid
A big thing was CDin and I finally said that I was going to do it whether or not I had his support but if I had to fight him on it I would. Then he started getting into it and trying to come up with ways to make it easier. (Poor man, thought it was the 50s I was going to force him to use prefolds and pins right from the start! He was so shocked when I told him he could just use velcro or snaps!

)

Miriam, that's exactly what my DH thought! (And my mom, too, when I told her... ) Cloth diapering has really changed in the last 10-20 years. I remember babysitting for kids who were in pinned prefolds with rubber pants!

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