[november]

Is your doctor/midwife male or female?

If your doctor is a male, how do you get 'over' it? I know, I know, I'm a big girl, I should be able to handle it. But my entire life I've gone to a female nurse practitioner (she doesn't deliver babies) so for the first time in my life, a man other than my husband is going to be all up in my business. I'm afraid I'm going to pass out in nervous anticipation the day of my first appointment, LOL. Someone talk me down and tell me it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be!!

Do they do a pap at every appointment?

 

[maisiedotes]

They definitely do not do a pap at every appointment. I think they do one at the first appointment and another maybe towards the end.. but I am not sure if it was just an internal exam. At any rate, I go to a woman because I was too weirded out to go to a man. I also figure, hey, most women know what we are going through firsthand! Most of my appointments consist of the dreaded "hop on the scale", they listen to the baby's heartbeat, take my blood pressure, talk about concerns, questions, etc. That's it. Oh, and you have to pee in a cup every time. I never took my pants off after the first appointment till the 38 week appointment...

 

[MayBaby2007]

If you're not comfortable with your doctor, for whatever reason, you need to switch to a doctor/midwife you are comfortable with. There is no reason to force yourself into an uncomfortable situation.

When you are birthing your baby, you need to be completely relaxed and trust those around you. If you're concerned about a man "up in your business" now--how will you feel when you're birthing your baby?

GL!

 

[mrizzo]

I have a female doctor, but she told me that there are 3 doctors in the office, one male and 2 females. When I go into labor it is whomever is on call is who I get, which she told me will most likely be the male doctor. So, I am hoping for the best.. and hoping for her.. but.. we'll see..

 

[Victorian patch]

Mine is male, always using male, the only one time that I use a female feel really horrible that a woman was touching me

: ...... so always guys with me, he do all the procedures including pap and others...... I know his team and is mixed, 3 guys and 3 girls + the hospital staff inside the birth room...... he is wonderful and lovely, also he always say that I am his favorite patient

...... If I can't get there earlier he wait for me

we are always sending emails to each other (that includes DH) and we have all his telephones (mobile, home, offices & laboratory).

Is very important having a good relation with your OB/GYN, sorry that I am 2 far from you..... I would love to give you his contact information. That why I am with him, I have hearing problems and he is very patient with that, I am always asking questions and he always answer me.

The midwife is female, used to be his wife but now they got divorce a couple of years ago, I know the new one and she is a pretty warm person as he is.

Hubby hates when we have an emergency and he is not in the city (usually happend that) because we have to talk with someone who is not warm as my Doctor team is. Always we finish in his office, for my loss in march he was away from the country, he went from the airport to the office to talk with us

 

[mamatolevi]

go to whomever you are most comfortable with. Personally, I could care less. I've found both male and female CPs to be uncaring and lacking in compassion as often as I've found them to get it. My last ob was male and he was by far the best I've had as far as compassion, faith in my ability to birth and competency. I'm half tempted to go back to Atlanta this fall to have him for my next birth.

 

[Juliacat]

My midwives are female and do not do any internal exams until I'm in labor. Even the GBS test, they hand me a swab and tell me to go to the bathroom and take it myself.

Their backup OB is male. I only saw him for the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy with dd and I don't remember him doing any internal exams on me either, though it could be I just don't remember it. He's wonderful, though.

 

[CarrieCo]

I've had two women ob's in my history and I didn't like either one of them.... you think women would be empathetic ... but no, not at all.

I love my current ob! I'm so glad I found him!

 

[shakenbake]

this maybe just me but i can NOT let a woman poke around in there my feelings are yes they go into it for the baby's but... what bout the rest of obgyn EWWW id never want to look at another woman's vag for something like that it grosses me out! sorry if im rude on this im sure some women docs r kick ass but i just cant do it even tho my dh hates the fact another man is "down there" i wouldn't or couldn't have it any other way

 

[*Erin*]

not in your DDC, but I've been there recently, and thought i'd offer a hug. I chose women but wound up having to deliver with a male ob with my dd, and have ob shadow care with a male during my 2nd pregnancy. Honestly, i never got over it. It feels fundamentally*icky* and odd to me that a man would choose to be taking of women in such an intimate fashion. i know there are great obs out there, mine were both just fine, but really, i was super uncomfortable with the fact that they were dudes. (i have had horrid women HCPs also) i wish i had some advice for you. good luck with your pregnancy, and i hope you are able to find a comfort zone with your ob.

oh, also, no doctor should be doing vaginal exams at every visit. there will prob. be one initially, and then none until right at the end of your pregnancy, maybe for your GBS test, (which you can do yourself if your HCP is ok with). they may offer to check you for any dilation, and that one should be optional.

 

[jimblejamble]

I've been creating (in my mind) a machine that will make internal exams WAAAAY less awkward. Basically, giant smooth tampon-shaped device that will be inserted. It'll go in smooth but once it's inside, it'll absorb the mucus for testing. It will have tiny cameras all over so they can see if there's anything "wrong". Basically, they give you this device, you go in a room by yourself, instert it yourself, keep it in until it takes all the tests, then you take it out and they check everything. No need to have someone RIGHT THERE poking and proding and making life miserable! It must be awkward enough, and then what if you get gassy?!

 

[november]

Unfortunately, due to financial reasons, I don't have the option of a female doctor or midwife. The only two female doctors that deliver babies in my town charge way too much cash up front and I *cannot* afford their care. =( I spent all day long making financial arrangements with doctors all over town, and finally found one willing to work with me. I've heard great reviews about this male doctor, so he is who I am going with. It's not that he's a bad doctor, it's just my own mental hang ups that I will have to get over. My choices are pretty limited.

And JessicaRenee, that idea is great! Now if only they could have that type of thing available NOW! Hahah.

 

[belltree]

I have always wanted female nurses and obs, but once ended up with a male doctor due to an emergency in the office. I was soo nervous and anxious about it. And then he turned how to be a very kind and soft man, his hands weren't as cold as some of the nurses hands, I had seen before. It can be hard to open up, but a male doctor can be very gentle as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by november It's not that he's a bad doctor, it's just my own mental hang ups that I will have to get over. My choices are pretty limited.

Have you considered having a doula? They cost about $600 in our region, and most offer special arrangements for families, that need it. We are still debating this a bit as well, but I am so happy so far with my midwife, that I think we will use the money otherwise.

 

[Shanti_Mom]

When I had my three hospital births, I had only female OB/GYN's. However, my first child ended up being delivered by one of the male colleagues because my own Dr. was off doing a c-section right when I needed to deliver.

My last two births were done by a different female doctor. I ended up switching to her office because it was a much smaller and more personal practice than the other had been. Unfortunately, she stopped delivering babies due to the high costs of malpractice insurance.

So this time, I've opted for a female midwife. I guess I just like the female touch (literally and figuratively speaking), and knowing they've been through pregnancy and childbirth makes me feel better about everything, although I know there are some great male Dr.'s out there too!

Ironically enough, with my first one who was delivered by a male Dr., I got an automatic episiotomy. I was so numbed up I had no clue he was even doing it! Then when my next two came along and I had the female doctor, she took the time to stretch me out so I had no healing from any cuts or tears. I know the midwife does the same thing.

 

[ShwarmaQueen]

I would never have a male OB or attendant for female issues. It's just a personal preference, I feel like women are more connected to me when it comes to that!

 

[SunShineSally]

Mine is male I will only go to male OBGYN's I had terrible expereances with female obgyn's so I stick to the males I had one that i loved

he was a cutie also

yeyes: but now I had to switch because he got into a major car accident and can no longer practice

but I really really like the new guy and he no matter what goes to the birth of he patience and all that jaz he is a real sweetheart! except he only delivers at a hospital that I do not really want to deliver at I would prefer the childrens hospital but ehh I like the guy and I feel comportable he is the head of OB at this hospital just like my other guy was so I am okay with it!

It is all a matter of preferance if you cannot get that okay feeling with this man then find someone else! It is your body that they are all over so to say and and they are handeling you newborn you need to be okay and as comfortable as possible I know that I will not get to that point to switch (so I can be at the hospital I want and feel better in)

I hope you are able to feel better with this person if you are unable to switch!

 

[billikengirl]

My midwife and her assistants are female but her doctor of consult is a man. I have never had a nekkid exam with a male practitioner and I'm hoping to keep up that streak (no pun intended LOL). I know intellectually that it shouldn't be a problem, but my gut just can't deal.

I know plenty of ladies who LOVE their male OB/midwife. I hope you will too!

 

[vegasgrl]

I've never ever ever ever ever been to a male ob/gyn...until now. I, too, was extremely nervous. But there is a severe shortage of doctors here in Las Vegas, so it's kind of take a doctor when you can find one. A good friend of mine goes to him, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I totally love him. He's extremely realistic, non-judgy, super cool. From where I sit, it's super uncomfortable having ANYone up in your hoohah; it was no worse (for me) with him than it was with anyone before him.

Just as an aside, I had a female ob/gyn, but the last time I was in her office, totally naked with the top and bottom drapes laying on the table waiting for her, her 7-year old son burst into the room. I was MORTIFIED. Everyone in the hall could see me. This little boy could see me. It was HORRIBLE. Doc came in and said "Oh, I'm sorry about my son; he hates coming to work with me and he was trying to escape - he thought this was the door out. Ha ha ha."

: NOT funny. When I called for my first prenatal appointment, they put me on hold for 7 minutes. That was enough for me to switch doctors.

 

[penguintattoo]

I have a male OB now, and absolutly love him. I saw 4 females before I switched to him and he is far more compassionate than they ever were. He always has a nurse in the room when he is doing an exam so its not like I am in there alone with him. He also brings me in the office to talk to me when I am fully dressed, which is far mroe comfrotable than talking to some guy half naked. I would talk to a couple of them if I were you and find the one you are most comfortable with! Good Luck!

 

[JohannaInDairyland]

Quote:

Originally Posted by november I've heard great reviews about this male doctor, so he is who I am going with. It's not that he's a bad doctor, it's just my own mental hang ups that I will have to get over. My choices are pretty limited.

Limited choices always make it tougher (for me, anyway - when I had insurance that severely restricted my doc choices, it was always more stressful then when I could simply go where I pleased). I've had mixed experiences with both male and female CPs. Some great, some awful of either gender.

Maybe this doc, if he's as great as the reviews you've received, would be willing to do a bit of "get to know you" before he's all up in your business.

Let him know you're nervousness simply because you haven't worked with a male doc in the past - you're probably not the first to feel this way!

Quote:

Have you considered having a doula? They cost about $600 in our region, and most offer special arrangements for families, that need it.

: Especially if your partner can't attend prenatals with you, a doula may be able to attend some. Also, if cost is prohibitive, many areas have volunteer doula programs, and sometimes a doula-in-training is willing to cut a break on the cost of her services, if you are willing to fill out an evaluation for her certification.