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Is your older child/children testing you? acting out?

768 Views 20 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  newmainer
Oh man, dh and I are getting to the end of our rope with dd on certain issues. Up until a couple of nights ago, getting her to sleep was a dream. She doesn't nap, so we have an early dinner- like 5:30 or so- she takes a tub, has a quick nurse with me, and then she goes to bed with dh and is usually asleep within 10-15 minutes.

Starting the other night, she has been squirmy and irritable, wanting to just play around in bed and refusing to lie down. We can tell that she's exhausted, but she can't just lie down with us. tonight it took over an hour of alternating lying down with her and having her stay in her room by herself for 5 minutes until she finally fell asleep with me beside her.

She's also being more whiney, testing boundaries, doing things she *knows* are not ok (like writing on the walls!
) etc...I'm trying to be patient with her and give her what she needs. I know that the birth of the baby is looming- we're having little talks about sharing mommy and daddy and the baby needing to nurse etc... Now we have birth supplies in the house. I imagine that everything is a bit overwhelming and scary, but it is *so* hard to deal with all of her behavior issues in addition to my own exhaustion and end-of-pregnancy grumpiness.

is anyone else experiencing this (or anything similar)? how are you handling it?
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My DD has been VERY clingy and on occasion, too whiney for my liking!
We're not dealing qith what you're doing but I've had another problem. For the past week my DS has been waking up every morning at 4 am and then he is up for the da6 at 6 to 6:30 am. When he wakes at 4 am he lays in bed and cries "Mom" over and over until I go in there. I soothe him and give him a quick nurse and he is back asleep within a minute or two. I cannot for the life of me figure out why he is waking at 4 but it has been like clockwork every morning. Then at 6:00 am he wakes up and comes in my room and just wants to nurse and nurse until I finally get up and out of bed. He used to sleep into 7 or 7:30 and that extra hour of sleep really makes a difference when you're in your last trimester.

So after after a week of all of that he was up about 5 or 6 times last night! Ugh, I have been tired and dragging all day. I'm dreading tonight.

Where did my good sleeper go? I can't imagine doing this with two babies.
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DD is whining a lot and it drives me insane.
She is also testing me and acting out a little. Yesterday I asked her to put away her toy blocks and she flat out refused. I dont really have experience with that, since she never really refused that type of thing before-she is very sweet by nature and LOVES to help me around the house with ANYTHING.
So yes, I definitely feel a change in her. She ended up cleaning up, because I wouldnt let her do what she wanted until the toys were put away.
I really hope that this will pass and that its not some sort of her "next stage" because she is growing up and has an attitude now. I just want to be the best parent I can be, and be able to discipline her properly and in a way thats effective and fair.
To be totally honest there are times when i feel insecure, because she has such a strong character and there are times when I, well, feel like Im not sure what to do or how to handle a certain situation...And DB just loves her SO MUCH that he lets her get away with stuff that I think he shouldnt. Which leaves me to be the tough one.
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MUCH, MUCH whining, clinging and sleep-fighting going on here!

I wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy/baby coming or the switching of the clocks but she has been fighting her naps BIG TIME and then it's been a real workout to get her to sleep at night. She keeps popping up and trying to run around her room (in the dark)...jump on her bed etc.

The nap-fighting has been brutal because I SO count on that time to rest myself.

Oh and she also will ONLY let mama help her....put on her shoes, pass her something at the dinner table, help her get on the couch, read a book etc. DH has been so frustrated because she really used to be Papa's girl and now she wants NOTHING to do with's all MAMA, MAMA, MAMA!!!
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I have a teenager who is on my last nerve-but I think that may be more teenager related than anything else. Well and of course everything is on my nerves since I am huge a pg right now.
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Oh yes - we are dealing with this. DD is refusing all sleep and the problem (like so many other problems) is only made worse when she is overtired. Even better, my big ol' mama's girl has decided to switch allegiance 100% to daddy and also feels that he is a playmate, not someone to listen to. He tried for 2 hours yesterday and couldn't get a nap out of her.

Anyway, no advice, just a hug...
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Gosh, I wish I could offer some sound advice, but my usually lovely (although strong personality'd) 2 year old DD is driving me batty.
She's refusing to eat, undoing all of her routines, testing out her vocal decible capabilities - usually with the words "NO NO NO!" and, worst(?) of all, getting up for her day at about 3am. She just lays in there and cries Mommy! Mommy! Mom! Mooooommmm!! til DH or I go in to see whats up, or on occation she'll just come right into our room and trounce on the bed like it's time to play. And none of this going back to sleep at 6 am stuff, either. She's UP til she absolutely crashes, usually about 2pm with MUCH mama coersion. She's not a napper, so I know she's just exausted. And usually spends most of those waking hours (After daddy goes to work) being pretty grouchy. Yesterday morning I just tried to snug her up in our bed while DH was getting ready for work, so we closed the door, and she just would go to the door and wail "I WANT DADDY!!" Which, in turn, just made me break down and bawl.

Oh man. I've been nervous about going from one kidlet to the two - but as each day passes I find myself getting a little more nervous. Bleah.

We'll survive, right Mamas?
People have been having siblings since the beginning of time. Right? RIGHT?!
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Yes and YES!

My 4yo has been angry and defiant (totally not typical for him). He ignores our requests for him to do things (like get dressed, etc.) that he always did on his own. We'll ask him about a million times and then get angry ~ then, he'll do what he's asked but with a glum and grouchy demeanor.

Ah, and my 2yo is a whining, fussing, crying machine! Full of attitude and very aggressive toward her brother and me. She'll just walk right by DS and pinch or hit him for no reason at all.

I was wondering if they are in a way "preparing" for the new arrival.... I guess so.
Oh yeah, getting dressed... one of my dd's favorite things to do right now is to take off all her clothes and refuse to put any back on... we wind up spending the whole day at home when we have a zillion things to do
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my blog today is pretty much


about how I'm going to mommy hell because I can't stand to be around my kiddo today

Actually both of them are driving me batty--but ds1 only because ds2 is taking up more than what energy I have--leaving NOTHING to deal with the rest of the world.

and I know it isn't just me--DH is at the end of his rope too

The things no one warns you about!

We didn't go through this with ds1--he was nearly 8yo when ds2 was born. We have had to deal with 3 years of us being mean because the world was so much better when it was just him...but that didn't start until ds2 was probably about 4 or 5 months old
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Just have to share my excitement with mamas who will understand!!!!

My mom and aunt just picked up DD!! They are taking her for the whole afternoon!!!!

OMG!! DD and I were seriously butting heads this morning and I was gearing up for another tough day. As soon as my mom and aunt walked in she was like a different little girl. She so happily went off with them and I have the house all to myself to clean and nest and maybe even relax a little!!!

I can't decide what to do first (well after I get my but off MDC
)....I guess I should start by packing my hospital bag!!
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i hear you Erin- my mom is on a vacation but when she gets back....
Ooooh, yes. My dd is 2.5 and I know all this behavior is normal, but after reading this thread and looking at the ages of all of your kiddos, I'm thinking that it's also new baby related. She has just been hysterical. She also just seems totally out of control so we haven't been disciplining her just trying divsersion tactics and when she's really worked up, just doing a sort of hug "time out" thing, so she knows that we're willing to help her get her bearings again. But that's not to say I haven't lost my cool and shouted at her, too. I just make sure I apologize for it later.
all my kids are dealing with things differently. A few of them have become very clingy. Since I dont' deal with whining, they nix that pretty quick.
And the acting out defiantly I don't deal with either. So, they straighten up pretty quick, but they do try a little more now.
guess it keeps us all busy!
I think giving anyone an *excuse* for bad behavior is leading them down a road of distruction. yes, they may be acting out, but they DO need to be redirected.
ugh.... we had a horrible morning. I lost it and roared at dd when she started groping my breasts after i had told her several times not to while she was cuddling on my lap. I burst into tears and covered my eyes while i sobbed- when i looked at her, she was covering her own eyes. That made it worse. i cried some more.

Found dh getting out of the shower and made it clear that i didn't appreciate him just disappearing from the kitchen leaving me alone without telling me what he was going to to (i hate that dads can do that). He got the message and took dd to the park for an hour.

sigh. the mornings are so hard for me. It's like the whole day stretches ahead and feels endless. We have some playgroups and whatnot to go to but still... it often seems bleak until after 9 am.

I feel so bad for dd... she has a grumpy, touchy, mommy... and to top it off, i thought labor might start today! i had some serious pains while we were at the library- we had to go home.

this too shall pass.... this too shall pass....
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Kelly ~

Hang in there mama....we're almost there.

We had a tough middle of the night incident. DD came into our room and asked for monnies. It was around 4 a.m. and I automatically (I nightweaned at the beginning of my pregnancy) but that she could come up and cuddle.

She went balistic...screaming for monnies which aggrivated her cough and then we were all wide awake...DD screaming and coughing and me regretting that I hadn't just nursed her when she asked.

DH went downstairs (um....yeah...I hear ya on the disappearing dads. Grrrrr) and I finally got DD to stop crying and then nursed her back to sleep but then of course, I couldn't fall back asleep.

DH is upstairs trying to put her to bed now and she is screaming bloody murder for me. I know I should go up there and comfort her but I am just SO tired and need a break.
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My husband is currently putting both kids to bed right now too
. Luckily, they both love when he does that. He took one look at me and said, "Sit down. I'll put them to bed tonight." I must have looked pretty bad off!

We had a tough day too. DS needed CONSTANT interaction with me and would not play independently at all. I did so much with him between noon and 4:30pm that I am just wiped out. DD napped for 3 hours, but was a giant fusspot all evening.

Three kids..... what were we thinking????????
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Kelly, my ds is just a month younger than yours. I really think that a lot of the stuff in this thread is really typical for that age and it's important to keep that in mind. And we also have to remember that we have changed a lot too - maybe more impatient, more guarded about our physical boundaries, more tired, more anxious - whatever. So that will interact with whereever our wonderful 2 yos are at. Those of us who have nurslings might even wonder if they are partaking in some funky hormones via breastmilk?

I have my bad moments of yelling and getting totally frustrated - dealing with toddlers is not exactly easy in late PG, especially if you don't have much support. The thing that helps me the most is to remind myself of what kind of parent I want to be. Here are some inspirational books that are guideposts for me:

Unconditional Parenting

Hold Onto Your Kids

Siblings Without Rivalry

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

Whole Child/Whole Parent

From watching other families it seems like it can be really worthwhile to focus a bit on how we want to parent our older children during this important transition time. I think we already know what newborns need
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Those of us who have nurslings might even wonder if they are partaking in some funky hormones via breastmilk?
Ya know...I was just thinking about that today! I can barely handle my crazy hormones...I can only imagine what they are doing to my 20 pound toddler's body!
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