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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AntoninBeGonin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8901984"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think definition of child abuse should be, "If I did this to another adult, would they hit me across the head while calling me a 'freaking maniac'?" If the answer is yes, then it's abuse.</div>
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I love your definition.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AntoninBeGonin</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8901984"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think definition of child abuse should be, "If I did this to another adult, would they hit me across the head while calling me a 'freaking maniac'?" If the answer is yes, then it's abuse.</div>
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Sounds good to me.
 

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Definitely abuse to me! I have a 4 year old and it breaks my hear to think of a child going through this.<br><br>
What has to be going through someone's mind when they think up this type of "punishment"? People like to blame bullying and peer pressure for children having so many problems, but how about starting at the home. I can't imagine what a child feels like to know that they have no one to protect them. It makes me just want to cry.
 

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I don't know what CPS would say, but there was a local case where I live last winter, where a mother was arrested and her child put in foster care because she punished him by making him stand outside in the cold, often naked or in his underwear, for set amounts of time.
 

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Mean.<br><br>
What strikes me about your story is that she called CPS on you for such flimsy reasons. I have to wonder if it was a pre-emptive strike.<br><br>
Perhaps she figures you are going to call CPS on her so she is hoping to make it look like retaliation for a feud between the two of you instead of her being abusive.
 

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Am I the only one who wonders if this is how this Mom was "disciplined" as a child... or wonders if she could be in some sort of abusive relationship with her DH? I just find this so out-of-the-norm.... so unfathomable... that those things come to mind. I mean, we've all heard of parents who spank, but I have to say that this is the absolute first time I've heard of this form of discipline. Reminds me of a hazing-technique. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Yikes, IMO it's an abusive type of discipline but maybe this woman knows no better. I could never do that to my child. A shower is something they need to learn to do eventually in order to keep themselves clean. I would be afraid I would scar them for life and make them fear showers or have a complex when they are adults. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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i just had a playdate and was telling my friend about what i read here regarding the cold shower. she told me her pastor's wife did the same thing to her kids when they would have an accident in their pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br><br>
i was like WHAT? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: that's so INSANE to me!!!! i can't believe this is practiced among more than one person! what is wrong with people! seriously. i'm so incredibly bothered by it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>umsami</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8907480"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Am I the only one who wonders if this is how this Mom was "disciplined" as a child... or wonders if she could be in some sort of abusive relationship with her DH? I just find this so out-of-the-norm.... so unfathomable... that those things come to mind. I mean, we've all heard of parents who spank, but I have to say that this is the absolute first time I've heard of this form of discipline. Reminds me of a hazing-technique. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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I don't know that it's that far out of the norm, and yes most people who abuse their children have been abused but does that mean it's ok?<br><br>
When I was in college one of the profs was telling me how her child was acting out and she put a padlock on his bedroom door to keep him in his room... he was 2! I think if we had cameras in the houses of people we would be amazed to see what people do in the "privacy" of their own homes.
 

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When I was growing up, my Mother had a friend who made her two children (then about 4 and 6 years old) kneel on hard uncooked rice for hours on end for punishment. A former neighbor of mine picker her two year old up by her ponytail whenever she wasn't paying attention. Also, my son's biological Father thought spanking was the way to go for not being potty trained by two years old. Unfortunately, I think abuse and questionable punishments are much more common than we'd like to believe. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I think that's horrifying. OTOH, we live in a country that has for several years now been debating whether water-boarding is torture.
 
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