It just doesn't seem fair!

hugs to you, i am sorry that fate has put you in this situation. the only advice that i can offer is to try to look at it likea learning experience, and that it is all gonna get better soon. sorry if that doesnt help!

My mom was a single mom...

All I can offer is positive thoughts and hugs....

Sounds like you might need a reality check too hon..

I'm struggling to make ends meet as I go to school and work p/t. I take care of my children full-time (i.e. abusive ex has no physical custody beyond a few weekly visitation periods) and have to stuff all of my personal errands into one short Saturday or a couple of hours on a Tuesday.

and your doing it! I think we all have to stuff our errands into just a couple hours a week, I know I do. I work full time and i'm usually rushing to do it between meetings or before I need to pick up dd from daycare.

Since I met Mark the firefighter 3 weeks ago, we've seen each other 6 times - 3 times with the kids, 3 times without - which is excellent considering our schedules and respective custody situations, but I'd still like more time with him.

Sounds fantastic to me! I have NEVER been on a date without dd, the fact that you've been able to see this guy without the kids tells me you got a little more free time then you realize

My ex traded in the brand-new mini van for a sporty car, and didn't obtain my signature before doing so even though the title on the van was in my name as well.

He didn't need your sig to trade in the van, either of you could have signed it off.

Don't even ask why I'm driving the 7 year old car with 125,000 miles on it when he gets the mini van in the first place :mad! I guess I'm feeling very angry and put upon. He abused me and my older son, controlled me for 7 long years of my life, and he still holds all the cards.

Because your letting him and he knows it!

He comes and goes as he pleases, never returns Ethan's calls when he calls him, doesn't buy the kids any clothing or shoes, pays the child support at least a week late each month, won't take the children at all if they are sick, and is just a lousy dad on top of everything. I constantly ask myself: why did God give me this man as the father of my children? What is so wrong with me that I would choose a guy like this? Why do I have to work so hard when he does nothing at all?

We all make mistakes, some of us are just lucky enough the jerks stay away, others are not. Dont let him come and go as he pleases, set up a visitation schedule and stick to it! No excuses for him, if the kids have some activity they need to do on his day they can do it with dad. He has just as much responsibility to care for them as you do. If he's not buying the clothes or shoes raise the C/S and at the same time why don't you have his wages attached so the C/S is never late? If he wont take a child because there sick then tell him he forfeits seeing ALL the children, you don't get to pick and chose your kids. If there all sick and he refuses then make sure you document that fact in case you ever need to go back to court over custody issues.

Thanks for listening. I'm trying to work through this anger so that I don't take it out on anyone around me. My friends and family have already done so much to help. I feel like my problems drain everyone of their energy. This is so tough.....

Hugs needed!

for you!

Thanks for the support guys. I think Satori is right - I need a reality check as well. I have a lot going on right now, and I'm still grieving for the loss of the marriage. So many of you have it much worse than I do, and I'm still complaining..... anyhow, I'm alone today and actually enjoying it - put together some computer furniture, did laundry, watched a stupid movie on Lifetime and cried my eyes out, and will be picking my kids up from their dad later on this afternoon. The main question here should not be "why did this happen?" but moreso "how can I truly move forward and learn from my mistakes?".

Hope everyone is having a good Father's Day

http://www.victimbehavior.com May help you