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So I'm in the process of finding a nanny for my daughter, and I made a post on Craigslist. There are several people interested and a couple of them are coming for interviews this week. And then I just got this email:

"I thought this position would be perfect until I read, "My daughter usually goes to sleep by going for a walk(park is very close) in the sling..."

Are you serious?

Sorry, but a 10 month old should be going down for a nap between 11am - 12 noon every day (after being read to) as part of a routine. I say this with 24 years of childcare experience.

It sounds like you have created spoiled baby who will grow into a spoiled child and an even scarier teen.
What will your child demand in the future in order to "usually" do something that should be part of a normal childhood with structure and boundaries?

Good luck... you will need it in finding childcare."


What the
!!! First of all, my daughter actually usually nurses to sleep. She gets walked to sleep in the sling if she won't go down with nursing or someone else is taking care of her. What the heck is wrong with that?! I don't know any 10 month olds who would just go to sleep on their own(unless they were "trained" to with CIO). And second, why would anyone feel the need to respond to a Craigslist ad just to criticize the person's parenting?! UGH.


BTW, suggestions for what to write back would be much appreciated. I'm too furious to think of a good response.
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Thank her for her interest in the position, and then wax poetic on how easily and quickly you discerned from her response that she would not be suitable. Wish her well but suggest her future letters of interest might be more effective if delivered straight to the trash bin, rather than being routed through your inbox on the way.

No need to defend or even discuss your parenting technique to someone who has never even met you or your daughter.
 

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I would make it short and professional in tone, for instance:

"Your unsolicited parenting advice is not welcome. I am not interested in hearing about your preferred techniques for raising children; I am looking for a nanny who respects our family's values. You are clearly not that person."
 

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I don't think I'd waste my energy replying to her. She is a nut.
That was really uncalled for to e-mail just to criticize you. I don't know how craiglist works- can you report her or something?

You sound like a really good parent and helping a 10 month old sleep is not spoiling them.
 

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I can't help but be amazed that there are people out there thinking their every interaction with a babe can bring about the final effect of either having an upstanding citizen or a degenerate hoodlum. Can you imagine the pressure?!

"The baby is crying and I'd love to take her for a walk, but if I do she might grow up to be a terror of a teenager!?"

I would totally have a nervous breakdown 10x a day if I thought like that.

Having said that, she was
and probably not worth responding to.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat
I don't think I'd waste my energy replying to her. She is a nut.
That was really uncalled for to e-mail just to criticize you. I don't know how craiglist works- can you report her or something?

You sound like a really good parent and helping a 10 month old sleep is not spoiling them.

Exactly!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by pookel
I would make it short and professional in tone, for instance:

"Your unsolicited parenting advice is not welcome. I am not interested in hearing about your preferred techniques for raising children; I am looking for a nanny who respects our family's values. You are clearly not that person."
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Wow what a mean lady! Not very professional but I would respond with "I'm so glad to hear you are not interested in the position as you are just the type of nanny I would like to avoid."
 

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I like both Pookel and Onlyzombiecat's responses (you can chose either one!)

Ya know... sometimes the best revenge is NOT taking the bait and NOT responding. Because when you respond (online and in person) you empower the other person... you give them the satisfaction that their drivel is important, when it's not.

Though I don't think she is a nut. So... that is why I love Pookel's reply. It's unemotional and curt and to the point (no dear candidate YOU are out of line here, not the family who'd employ you.) You'll find out if she is a nut or not if she continues the conversation (has such a big ego and feels the need to be prove to you she is "right") or gets over-the-top hostile and publicily attacks your post on the board.

UGH! Craigslist is soooo weird!!!!

My local one, I have been reading the Childcare one for the past few weeks (there ARE great candidates and nice families posting), trying to get a feel for it and gather the nerve to post and I have noticed that there are 1) wackos who contact parents and post about them (forcing the poor parent to warn the board of wackos) and 2) wackos who'll just post with their stupid opinions on nanny issues.

The response you got doesn't surprise me. The anonymity of it really let's "some" let their hair down and say things in print that they MIGHT never say in person. I doubt very much in an interview she'd speak her mind so freely, eventhough that's what she would be thinking.

That candidate does sound like a know-it-all with 25 years experience all-right (someone like that Baby Whisperer author - too freakin' strict) - nobody I'd ever hire.

 

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I would reply with something snarky as well, though I can't think of anything better than what the other gals came up with.

I bet that nanny uses CIO if the babe doesn't go to bed exactly between 11-12.

What an old bat!
 

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Without violating the UA and namecalling
I will say that her response was completely inappropriate and unprofessional. Consider yourself lucky you didn't end up exposing your precious little one to such a cruel way of thinking. Good luck!
 

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How about:

Thank you for your sage reply. I would indeed use the method you suggest, however I am concerned that my child will grow up to be the kind of mean-spirited person who emails strangers and gives them unsolicited (and poorly reasoned) advice. That, I believe, would truly be a failure on my part as a mother. Good luck!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaWindmill
Thank you for your sage reply. I would indeed use the method you suggest, however I am concerned that my child will grow up to be the kind of mean-spirited person who emails strangers and gives them unsolicited (and poorly reasoned) advice. That, I believe, would truly be a failure on my part as a mother. Good luck!
That's awesome.
 

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Aww... I'm having the opposite problem. I'm looking for a nanny job, and I keep getting e-mails from parents who want me to let their 3 month old cry until it's asleep, and not pick up the baby under any circumstances. I just don't think I can do that, so I decline the invitation.

Too bad you live in CA. Maybe I should move there instead of living in GA
 

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I wouldn't be able to NOT reply- I'd be bursting with frustration!!

I'd email her back using her format and general wording, but fill in your own snarky comments

I seriously love my child. She happens to like walks.

Sorry, but a 10 mo old should go down to sleep in whichever way suits her needs. I have boobs and a sling and I'm not affraid to use them.

It sounds like I have created a very secure, trusting and content baby, who, when ready will take on the world with zest and delight!

My child will demand to be respected and not bullied by random craiglist posters.

Good luck- you will need it when you're no longer able to care for yourslef and someone leaves YOU crying yourself to sleep!!
 

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Ugh, what a nut. Looks like ypu've got some good advice though.


MamaWindmill and eirual I am
.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeymommy
Skybluepink, I'm a 5th generation Californian living in GA! Let's carpool there & you can be PT nanny for me & Rockstar.


(Side note: I have a friend in CA whose name is Skye Blue.)

I'm game!! Let's go
 
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