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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Not trying to pick a fight here..I'm trying to understand this mentality of it taking a village to raise a child..The parents can't do it themselves? I don't understand..

I don't feel like I'm overprotective but I have very strong beliefs on how I want to raise my children that most people I know do not agree with so I want to raise them the way DH and I feel is best.

I would love to have more support and interaction from family and friends but we go over to MIL's house and she turns the tv on and lets him watch any cartoon that is on! Violent, etc..He's 3 years old!! He was watching something that was okay on Sunday but I said when it was over the tv was off because I wanted him to play. She jokingly said "This is grandma's house..He gets to do whatever he wants here!" I said "You think it's better that he stare at a tv screen then play with his aunts whom he rarely sees?" ARRRRGGGGHHHHH..My parents would be in line with a lot of what we believe as far as parenting goes but they live 8 hours away so tons of interaction isn't doable there..

So does "The Village" mentality really work with some people?? I saw it mentioned in a recent thread so I was just wondering the thinking behind it..

Again no flames please..I just don't understand it..Thanks!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So the problem is not with the concept but with *my* village!?! :LOL

Heehee..I seriously would not have a problem with others having more of a hand in rasising my kids if they agreed with what we were trying to do with them..Very little TV, creative play, encourage thinking etc..But I feel like I have to deprogram my kids every time they spend more than a few hours away from us..ESPECIALLY at MIL's house..They just run wild over there..

I think we need to tap into the resource of our church friends more..I babysit a lot for them and they're always saying they'd love to do the same for me but I always feel bad about asking them..I need to get over that..

After thinking about it I think my main resentment toward all of this is the thinking that kids HAVE to have other influences or they're going to be wierd..MIL is always saying about how DS will have no friends because he's not in daycare and we plan on homeschooling. She says he needs other people teaching him and he needs to be with other kids..I don't see why he needs other people teaching him at this point..I can do that just fine..He's only 3 anyway! Let him be a kid!! And I don't mind him being with other kids if it's kids I know aren't being a bad influence on him..He spends about 4 hours with our friends' kids week..That's enough for me..

I guess I just feel like some parents have taken this to the extreme and aren't sharing the parenting responsibilites with the village..They're letting the village parent their kids all by themselves!! We've seen it a million times working with youth.."Can you talk to Danny about his attitude?" "Can you talk to Amy about her boyfriend?" They want us to "fix" their kids and it drives me crazy!!!!!

OKay, so I'm off to get myself a new village..Anybody live in Upstate SC???
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Ooy, MIL fed DD a whole bottle of cow's milk when she was 10mo..I had left her with tons of little snacks and told her if she was super thirsty to give her a little water...ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! She didn't even admit it to me until months later..
 
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