[Corvus]

I'm with the you-can't-trust-the-village crowd. Perhaps in some societies, the village is trustworthy. In such places, childrearing practices are probably similar from one family to the next. Breastfeeding is normal, and you probably don't have to worry about your MIL sneaking formula to your baby. Etc.

In the U.S., there seems to be a huge difference in parenting between the current generation of young parents and the grandparents. Sometimes, it's a SIL or BIL, someone of your own generation, that you cannot trust. Maybe they try to sneak ice cream or cookies to your 4-month-old. We've all heard these stories.

So yes, for me, I can't trust the village. I do trust my ILs, but they don't understand BF. So the first time they babysat DD, she was about a year old. I also trust my sister. She's not exactly AP, but she is gentle and understands children very well. So those are the only people in my "village" who are allowed to babysit.

 

[Corvus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mollykatsmom I guess I don't worry so much about whether someone parents like I do, I care about whethr they respect me and care about my child. I think it's sad that it is hard for so many to find a core group of people that they can trust. I can't picture anyone in my family or group of friends going against my wishes for my child.

Well, not everyone has parents, ILs, siblings, siblings-in-law, and other relatives who are trustworthy with our children or even have basic respect for us as the parents. Some of our parents deliberately go against our wishes b/c they think they know better than we do, etc. Lots of posters here have children with serious food allergies, and their relatives dismiss the allergy as being not real. I would never leave a food-allergic child with a relative who didn't "believe" in allergies, etc.

It's great that you have family who respect you and care about your child. Some of us have close relatives who don't respect us and care more about their own egos than about our children.