[OnTheFence]

In other cultures around the world and even into the years of the depression here in the US, it was the "village" raising our children. People looked after each others children, breastfed each others children, fed others children, and in general helped each other in need or if they saw the need. In the US like minded folks lived together in smaller, and what I believe stronger communities sharing similar values, religions, etc. The "I'll take care of mine" was not as prevalent as it is today. In some rural communities in the south and in some black communities this is still practiced.

Most of my family is dead. I have no biological parents living or grandparents, I have one aunt that is still living (she is more like a sister) and I have a step sister (other sibling is dead). I am fortunate to live in a really great neighborhood. Not only is it diverse culturally, but I have live on a culdesac with really great neighbors who I have made friends with. We look after each others children, we help each other when someone is sick, dies, or has some other problem, we borrow food from each other, feed each other, etc. We are all pretty diverse but we have grown to think of living here as like a small family. We don't all share the same values -- especially in religious and political matters, we all raise our children with different styles of parenting, but this has never stopped us from forming a strong dependent community for the past six years. I would say that so far we have been pretty respectful of each others beliefs and childrearing. (at times tolerating I am sure) I trust most of these people for the most part, they have watched my children and vice versa. If I saw one of them getting into trouble or needing something I would not hesitate to take care of it. At times I feel like I need all the help I can get so at times I really am relying on "the village".

 

[OnTheFence]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hhurd ITA. I figure the risks outweigh the rewards of having lots of different people involved in my child's life. So grandma gives him lollipops and lets him watch Thomas videos and I don't...so what? He's not ruined for life. The important thing is that he knows grandma (or any other close friends/family) loves him. His world is bigger and better for it, IMO.

This is how I feel at this point. Of course I am going on kid no4 and I have mellowed a great deal in 9 years about stuff. I would be so grateful if my children had all their grandparents or even aunts and uncles to spoil them with sweets and tv, or take them places. Junk food and TV on occassion as you said will not ruin them. I've also noticed that the older of my two children have incorporated our values more and more as they go out in the world without prompting from me. Like my daughter will be at a friends and tell them that she is not allowed to watch something on TV or play with a certain type of toy. My son who is fixing to be 5 will tell his friends he is not allowed to play with toy guns with no prompting from me or his father.

I guess I am really happy with the way things are going where I live that I can trust "the village" to a certain extent. There has been a lot to learn from more of the mainstream crowd than I thought there was -- and one of those things was moderation. I don't think its wrong for our children to experience things from our pop culture or play with the newest toy or see the latest cartoon character on TV.