[crescentaluna]

I think an interesting way to take this discussion would be - "Are you willing to BE the village?"

As a Latina I have a little different perspective - I think with Black people it's similar. In 'my culture'

kids are not expected to police themselves so much; it's expected that ANY adult has the automatic right to tell a misbehaving or unsafe child, in any place, "Stop that!" I've always understood THAT to be 'the village' - the willingness of any adult to monitor any child around them that needs it.

I feel willing to do this - I've told solo kids on the bus to stop horseplaying because it's dangerous, etc. Black or Latin kids usually respond well, White kids seem to have the "YOU"RE not my mom, lady!" attitude.

Because many of them develop self-monitoring more slowly, Black and Latin kids have the reputation of being 'out of control' (in public schools, at least) - and that's why - many of them come from the village school of parenting. Mainstream American culture is pretty standoffish in this way, IMO.

 

[eightyferrettoes]

what in the world are chavs?

I'd be depressed and SOL without my "village." My husband works in a VERY small occupational field-- I worked in it for several years, too, and so did my father. We're talking about 1500 people scattered worldwide, moving in and out of locations like camping nomads, so to speak. I've never moved to a new place where I didn't already know SOMEONE there.

So I feel safe taking DS to parties, letting others care for him when I need a break, et cetera.

Can't imagine having to go it completely alone....

 

[edamommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by crescentaluna I think an interesting way to take this discussion would be - "Are you willing to BE the village?" As a Latina I have a little different perspective - I think with Black people it's similar. In 'my culture' kids are not expected to police themselves so much; it's expected that ANY adult has the automatic right to tell a misbehaving or unsafe child, in any place, "Stop that!" I've always understood THAT to be 'the village' - the willingness of any adult to monitor any child around them that needs it. I feel willing to do this - I've told solo kids on the bus to stop horseplaying because it's dangerous, etc. Black or Latin kids usually respond well, White kids seem to have the "YOU"RE not my mom, lady!" attitude. Because many of them develop self-monitoring more slowly, Black and Latin kids have the reputation of being 'out of control' (in public schools, at least) - and that's why - many of them come from the village school of parenting. Mainstream American culture is pretty standoffish in this way, IMO.

I moved back home when my son was 19 months because of this very thing! My dh was raised like any other white kid... very solo like you were saying but my family, and the general population/locals here where I am from is similiar to what you're explaining (although we're just your run-of-the-mill white people). Perfect example is at the beach. We go every day. There are a zillion kids there and they are expected to listen to whichever mama is talking to them... it's a very comforting thing isn't it? And it does teach respect ofr others I think.