it's my 2nd baby and i am acting like.....

lol- it's #3 for me and I'm in a similar boat.

I won't really need to 'get' anything until after we know the gender, but even when we do- where will we put it?

Also, 7yo + 9 month old + work? I barely have time to remember my name, let alone think that far ahead.

It's #3 for me, and somewhat unplanned, and I have fleeting feelings that I'm sometimes ashamed of.

When I was 8 weeks, Connor went through a really rough time health-wise, and I started worrying about how I would handle a baby with a special needs child...I remember thinking "It wouldn't be devastating if this pregnancy ends in miscarriage" Yep, I thought that. How's THAT for terrible thoughts?? Hubby and I were discussing finances and even he said "darn third kid really throws a wrench in things" Someone just asked me today whether I'm wanting a boy or girl, and I said "well, we didn't plan this pregnancy, so if I have to have a third child, it better be a girl at least!" :

I want this baby, I do, I already love this baby, but you're right that it's just not quite the same as the first. Everything about the pregnancy is "been there, done that", so I'm not excitedly reporting every symptom. We have a lot of stuff, so no need to shop much or research options. I'm chasing after two active toddler boys, so my belly and other body changes are a hassle, not wondrous.

Some of it is practical (finances, exhaustion) some of it is hormonal. Don't you just love the hormones??!

I'm finding it getting better as I'm starting to feel these early flutters

This is my second, and I had always heard my friends describe what you are feeling. However, my daughter will be 5 in June, so I am not as busy as I was when she was 2. I guess I missed the boat on that one. I am home and not working this time, so I have too much free time. I notice every ache and pain. I've also had losses since my daughter. I kind of wish that I could have something else to focus on because when I am out and busy and I do forget, it is a very welcomed break. I am looking forward to the summer when my daughter will be home with me all day and we can go to the pool and other weekend outings. I feel like that would make the pregnancy go faster, ya know?

I am sure when the baby comes, you will be so into that child, but for right now, it makes sense that you would forget sometimes. I hope the distance between my kiddos doesn't mean that I won't be more relaxed once the baby gets here too. I know I will be more vocal and confident in my parenting choices, so that will be good.

i think it's the age of your kiddo that's causing pregnancy amnesia. mine is about to turn three, and everything, my entire life, is all about her. even my doctor appointments, are all about making sure she's alright. she can put the bandaid on my arm when the blood is drawn, she talks with the nurses. as for the new baby, it's "her" new baby. you know.

i totally forget i'm pregnant. all the time. doesn't help that i have an anterior placenta, and although i feel the baby when i really focus on it, anterior placenta is like having a pillow right under your belly skin, so you don't feel kicks as much or as hard.

what can we do? i do believe that it will get more "real" for me once i know if it's a baby brother or a baby sister. then i can start planning/collecting for the new one.

and the other thing that i think contributes to this situation is to have a september due date. at least for me. don't know about you, but it's all about summer time around here. we just got through the toughest winter in ten years and today it was 70 degrees and the tree blossoms are about to pop and the bulbs are starting to flower. *this is the time of year to enjoy*.

to think about september... ugh, that will signal the end of summer. who the heck wants to think about the end of summer???

i'm sure by august when we are 8 months pregnant and feeling every move and straining to bend over to carry our toddlers, we will feel well and truly pregnant.

i guess i'm trying to count my blessings here that all is actually going well.

i don't think we should feel guilty that there is less excitement for baby number two. things are gonna get plenty exciting before we know it.

oh, and a little OT but not really, are you eating quite as well for baby number two as you did for number one? i know, taking vitamins and abstaining from alcohol, etc. but are you being quite as vigilant on the health foods, etc.? (i'm not really.) feeling a little guilty about that, but on the other hand, honestly just trying to get by.

being pregnant with a toddler is hard work! my daughter has just begun to break away and run, and in a public place or by the road, it's harrowing. i have had to chase her and pulled a few round ligaments in the process. i worry about what i will do when i'm bigger pregnant. i am going to have to leash her on her monkey backpack leash i think.

i really adore and appreciate SO MUCH these responses, you all don't even know!

and yes, SO TRUE, i am NOT eating as well with this one! oy vey the guilt!

you know, when DS is sick or awake late, and i pass out and forget to eat dinner.......argh. or just eat cereal. never did that once with my first.

i finally asked DH to please help keep me on track! so just the few little nudges in the direction of healthy eating has made a difference, actually.

another helpful thing i just did TODAY, desperate and exhausted, was getting on a strict(er) nap and meal schedule with DS and deciding to "neglect" the dogs a bit. you know, once a day walks instead of two. which also guilt trips me. but what can you do!! this makes me feel like i can at least IMAGINE having another and not totally stressing out.

these honest responses have been so appreciated, thank you all so much.

p.s. nice to imagine i am not the only one with like, one drawer to spare for the new baby

This is number four for us and although it is a very much wanted addition to our family, we didn't seriously believe it was a realistic possibility for us. So, now that it is coming, I find I have so many of those leftover and conflicting feelings.

Right before we found out we were pg, I really felt I had come to terms with and accepted my family of three children. I had finally managed to close the door on my vision of four. That took a lot of work for me and now it is hard to UN-do that.

Also, I do worry about how aware my two older children will be during this pg. It is really the first time that they will be completely aware and emotionally invested in my pg. because they are old enough to understand what is going on. I worry about something happening and having to explain it to them as well as dealing with my own emotions. I guess I tend to downplay it so they don't get too caught up in it.

Strangely, I'm having an opposite problem than many of you, but with the same result. Our house is pretty much set up for a fourth right now (depending on gender). We have two twin beds in each of the children's rooms (they like to sleep in the same room, so this way they can camp out in whichever they want to). Eventually, this will be fine for the four of them. Our closets are pretty roomy, so each child has 1/2 the closet (boys will share the boy room closet, girls will divide the girl room). Our car has four seats in back which will work out well now. It all fits into place with no effort at all, so I don't really need to 'prepare' for the baby. Somehow, I feel that it would make it more 'real' if I did have to do some things to make room.

Certainly, I'm not complaining of not having much to do...it just seems to enable me to not think about this baby as much as I feel I thought about the others when I was pg. Now that I have said all this, we'll probably find out it is a boy and have to scramble to figure out how that will work in our house!!

Sorry for the long ramble, but it was interest to read all the posts from others and a bit of a relief to know that I'm not alone in these feelings.

tofutti,
i hear you. i keep forgetting i'm pregnant, i haven't been eating as well with this one (or taking my prenatals!), i've been in kinda denial until i started to have to wear maternity pants this week...

even this week when i didn't feel movement for 3 days and started to freak out that the baby was dead, there was a very small part of me that was maybe relieved. i haven't told anyone that--not even my husband. we weren't planning on being pregnant now, i haven't finished my dissertaiton, we have no money for me to take an unpaid maternity leave in the fall from teaching high school, no room either...the list of "not a good time" factors goes on. then, god have i felt guilty about even having that thought for a fraction of a second....

i feel this whole thing is VERY different, too. my first is almost 22 months and has seemed to gain a new sense of defiance and activity in the past month, so she's kept me on my feet like crazy.

again, this whole babymaking/mommying process makes me into a crazy woman. it's all worth it, 100%, but i feel i understand why my moms (bio mom and mom who raised me) are both a little crazy, too.

i feel ya...

loriu, our kids are the exact same age! (may 30 is DS bday) -- good to know someone else is chasing a little (adorable) devil around the town while pregnant and looking quite insane instead of a dissertation i have many many writing assignments, which in the old days i would be so happy about, but now wake in a cold sweat thinking about.......

just add two large dogs yanking my arm off to that picture and -- it's me!

I'm rather apathetic with this baby. To be honest, I didn't really want it. But it was very very important to my husband, and I didn't not want it enough to stand in the way. We've bought one onesie and I don't really want or care to buy anything else. We don't have room right now, but next week we're moving again and we'll have more room. We're buying a houseful of furniture (go Ikea!) and we're not buying anything for the baby. Partly because we wouldn't (I never used a changing table, crib, swing, bouncy, etc.), partly because I just don't care right now. I'm getting more attached to this baby, and I would be sad to lose it, but mostly because then I'd have to start over again. Not for a whole lot of love of this baby. But I'm better than I was, and by the time its born I'm sure I'll be in a much better place. I'm kind of counting on it. I'm having to talk myself into getting excited to have a baby in the house and to do baby things again, but most I'm not. And we know this. In a year I won't be able to imagine my life without two kids. In ten years I'll wonder why we didn't do it sooner. But for now I really honestly don't care. And Nathan knows this. There are a big bunch of IOUs for this baby (I was about to buy a convertible car, but now I'm not. He owes me a convertible). I've told my midwife and some others that I'm like the guy in this pregnancy. I don't believe it's real and I'm not excited about it right now. So I'm actually super excited about the ultrasound so I can see the baby. I'm hoping I'll feel more connected to it once we know the gender and I've seen it moving around (even though I can feel it all the time now).

Wendy

y'all's posts definitely made me feel better.

tofutti--sounds like we are pregnancy twins! yes, i had issues sleeping b/c i can't stop going over my dissertation and what i should've done already in my head, and my usual "turn off my brain" activity of a glass of red wine or some rescue remedy isn't allowed. (is rescue remedy allowed? i just assumed not).
my daughter will be 2 june 25th, so about a month after yours. but man, she has gone bonkers in the past couple of months...did you experience that?

i do think there is a part of me that's not getting too excited about this for self-preservation, too. had a dream that this baby was gone this week (a total flashback of expelling my first pregnancy at 12 weeks--total bloodbath), and i think that has freaked me out even though all was okay.

and to the mama who said her entire house was ikea, i am there with you! i keep saying we'll stop buying their stuff, but we can't afford anything else...we're like an ikea showroom. no lie. it's kinda embarassing!

i don't really think this pregnancy is real to my husband yet, either, b/c i just look kinda fat and he can't feel the baby yet. so we're both living in denial of sorts.

sigh!

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The bolded parts are so me... this baby was planned and is very much wanted. the reality is that finances suck right now and won't be getting better for a while. I just got a new job that we will be moving for at the End of May. We will be losing our insurance, moving almost 500 miles from where we are, trying to adapt to a new place, finding a new care provider, learning the new job... I'm just a little freaking out right now.