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My mom is driving me CRAZY with the pro-circ rhetoric! Our baby boy is now 9 days old and she's talking to the urologists she works with, all of whom are saying, "better do it now, it's AWFUL to be circ'ed as an adult or older child, and it is usually ALWAYS necessary." Really, she sat me down this afternoon and needed to "let me know of her concerns."<br><br>
Of course, I'm a post-partum, hormonal mess, but I managed to explain to her that I just wasn't going to be cutting a part of my son's body off, I didn't expect any "problems" from his foreskin. This is the body God made for him. I'm totally ok with leaving it just like we found it, and trusting that everything is going to be fine.<br><br>
She didn't have much of an answer to the whole, "this is the only country in the world where circing is normal" argument. I guess ALL adult men in other countries/cultures are circ'ed at some point, since there are ALWAYS problems.<br><br>
I explained that if you just leave well enough alone, clean the outside of his penis and KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HIS FORESKIN then everything would be fine and the problems her urologist friends are running into are probably related to people not taking proper care of themselves.<br><br>
She gasped, and said "YOU'RE NOT PULLING IT BACK TO CLEAN HIM???"<br><br>
Ummm, no mom. I don't give a baby girl a douche when she has a nasty poopy diaper either. I just CLEAN THE OUTSIDE and move on.<br><br>
Jeez. I'm so glad I have somewhere to vent, cause I'm gonna go off if I hear "It's not too late!" one. more. time!!!!
 

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That must be so infuriating to hear that. I'd be hard pressed to keep my temper under control.<br><br>
Offer to pull back her fingernails to scrub her nail-beds clean.<br><br><br>
Congrats on your new baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Since she believes you should retract I would never let her change your son. I wish I could say I find it hard to believe that someone who works for a urologist dosnt know the foreskin is attached like a finger nail but I know that is all to often the case.<br><br>
I am sorry you have to hear that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>the_queen</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8143864"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Offer to pull back her fingernails to scrub her nail-beds clean.<br><br><br>
Congrats on your new baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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My thoughts ran more to bleach & a wire brush somewhere more directly analagous, but I'll setle <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">.
 

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I would explain to her that you don't want your DS to grow up negative things about his penis and if she doesn't stop she will not be spending anytime with her grandson. I would also <b>never</b> trust her to change a diaper.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MCatLvrMom2A&X</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8143932"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Since she believes you should retract I would never let her change your son. I wish I could say I find it hard to believe that someone who works for a urologist dosnt know the foreskin is attached like a finger nail but I know that is all to often the case.<br><br>
I am sorry you have to hear that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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Yeah, I forgot to include that in my original post. She's OFF the diaper changing team. MIL at least just asked what, if anything she's supposed to do differently, since she circ'ed dh, so I really believe she'll follow directions. Not like anyone's really changing him other than me anyway.<br><br>
WHY is my son's PENIS an acceptable topic of conversation for these people? I keep hearing it over and over!<br><br>
On a funnier note, the first time my 2 yo dd saw him with no diaper, she just about had a panic attack. Seems I forgot to let the girls know that boys are different down below. She just kept repeating, "WHAT'S that on him?!" over and over. "Sweetie, that's just his penis. That's where his pee pee comes from." She still wants to hear me say that every time I change him...she just can't get over the differences in the equipment. It makes me laugh each and every time.
 

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I dont know why others are so enterested in ds's penis but fil made it a point to bring it up to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: this is a man that I have probably said a hour worth of conversation to in the last 13+ yrs. And he brings it up when I am 3days post partum and having to take my ds in because of jaundice he was the only one who could drive me.<br><br>
Boggles the mind.
 

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You might want to give her a copy of the <a href="http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm" target="_blank">Intact Care Agreement</a> and tell her to pass it along to her cut happy urologist friends.<br><br>
You also might want to direct her to the AAPs statement.
 

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You can also tell her what I told my MIL about vaccination:<br><br>
You made choices for your children, this is my child and I've decided to leave those choices up to her. If you want to make decisions for another child, you are more than welcome to have another one. Just leave mine alone.
 

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definately no diaper duty for her.<br><br>
I would bluntly say, "There will be no more discussion of this. Period. If you cannot respect our decision, not to mention, stop telling me to cut up my son's genitals, then you will not be a part of his life."<br><br>
And mean it.
 

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Congrats on your new perfect baby boy! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Yup, I'd tell her to keep her mouth shut or take a hike. You heard what she had to say, you answered her concerns, now she's just harassing. You and your kids don't need that stress.
 

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Congratulations on your perfect whole baby-boy! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/babyboy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Babyboy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Sorry you have to go through that with your mom <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I'd be so happy to tell her that this is exactly because of the urologist/doctors like her friends many intact boys have problems. Not just intact, by the way. Doctors are so misinformed about adhesions as well (in circ boys it's an often complication) and they would forcibly pull them back <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: causing enormous pain, trauma, scarring, infections <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: . And they would tell parents to do the same thing with every diaper change <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: . Poor little boys <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> . These idiots are hurting healthy boys; they must get educated!<br><br>
Please be very careful leaving your baby with your mom. It sure looks like she has her own (very strong and very wrong) ideas about an intact penis care...<br>
And let her read this <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=129378" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=129378</a><br>
yulia.<br><br>
PS. off topic. I don't know if you have done any research about vaccination, so i thought I'd mention it. It's a VERY VERY VERY good idea to do a VERY good research before you give your baby ANY shots. You can start you research (if you want, of course) by watching this movie together with your husband <a href="http://www.dark-truth.org/okt19-2006-2.html" target="_blank">http://www.dark-truth.org/okt19-2006-2.html</a> (it's an hour and a half long) and do some good reading on the vaccination forum<br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=47" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=47</a><br><br>
I'm telling you that because I wish SO VERY MUCH that somebody would have told me that before I had my first child (but no one did...)
 

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Did you tell your mom beforehand that you were leaving your son intact? I was worried about my mom... but I think because I gave her enough notice ("if this baby is a boy we won't be circumcising because now they know it's not necessary") it won't be a problem if we do have a boy... at least, I'm hoping not!<br><br>
I would definitely let her know that you can't trust her to change your ds's diaper or be around him much if she is going to make hurtful comments about his NORMAL anatomy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: I also would be very tempted to ask her how often she scrubs her nail-beds and her eyeballs...<br><br>
love and peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Wow this post makes me feel very very lucky with my mom. When I talked to her about it and explained a bit before baby was born she just said 'you better make it very very clear at the hospital you don't want it done.' When we further discussed it, particularly related to the complete nonsense in the pregnancy book she was given 38 or so years ago, she said the information just wasn't there. She then admitted wishing she'd had it and felt guilty about having my brother done. I know if she'd had the info we have now...<br><br>
I think if you mother is a caring sort of person and is given the 'nail pulled from the nailbed' analogy surely she wouldn't insist on it?! I don't even remember telling my mom not to do it, but honestly, it seems so logical you'd just wipe it off I can't even fathom doing anything else! I think a lot of that business with mothers insisting their daughters have their sons done is a way of trying to not feel guilty about what they did to their sons.<br><br>
I hope you and your mom can come to an understanding, this is when you need a mom on your side, not trying to push her opinions on you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>trmpetplaya</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8147876"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I also would be very tempted to ask her how often she scrubs her nail-beds and her eyeballs...</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
it sounds so crazy..why isn't it the same with baby-penises?!...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>abckidsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8143787"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ummm, no mom. I don't give a baby girl a douche when she has a nasty poopy diaper either. I just CLEAN THE OUTSIDE and move on.</div>
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<br>
I know this isn't a funny topic, but this really cracked me up! I hope you said this to her! Good to see you have your sense of humor through all this. Keep up the good fight! (((Hugs)))
 

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<span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><span style="font-size:medium;"><span>Just tell her that it's not too late to circumcise her either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"></span></span></span>
 

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I wouldn't let her change his diaper either!<br>
But maybe after she has some time to see how perfect and healthy he is just the way god made him, she'll atleast stop making comments. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Maybe someday she'll even realize she's wrong....but don't expect her to admit it.<br><br>
Good Luck, you're doing the right thing. We have almost no circ' guys in mine or DH's family, and NONE of them have problems. including my 73 yr old FIL!!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>abckidsmom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">On a funnier note, the first time my 2 yo dd saw him with no diaper, she just about had a panic attack. Seems I forgot to let the girls know that boys are different down below. She just kept repeating, "WHAT'S that on him?!" over and over. "Sweetie, that's just his penis. That's where his pee pee comes from." She still wants to hear me say that every time I change him...she just can't get over the differences in the equipment. It makes me laugh each and every time.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Too funny. When our dd saw dh's penis (around age 2) she pointed and laughed. He was not amused. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I believe she referred to it as a door-ringer or something.
 
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