[Polliwog]

Yesterday was my FD's father's TPR hearing. We were there for three hours and then the judge had to leave for the day (and I would have had to leave to pick my son up from school.) We go back on May 13th. They tried to do it sooner, but everyone's schedules (as well as finding an open courtroom) prevented that from happening.

DSS's lawyer and the father's lawyer asked the SW a ton of questions. Some of which was about things that happened before she got the case. Then they asked the SW's supervisor more questions. Finally, they asked Polliwog's father questions. Most of the questions revolved around things that the social workers did or didn't do and whether they were supposed to do those things or not. It really seemed like the judge could have denied the TPR. But, the SW and supervisor reminded me about the psychological report that was entered into evidence. They say that it's clear that he wouldn't be able to parent a child. But, we'll know more next month.

I was asked to testify. That shouldn't have been surprising to me, but it was. I was told that I'd be asked things that I know the answer to-things about Polliwog. I think I'll be ok if I don't look at her father, his family or his friend who was at the visit with us. I could feel their eyes boring into my side when they talked about how "the foster mother wants to adopt the child." Of course, I want to adopt her. But I'm not out to steal anyone's child. The reality is that the court will decide her future. All I know is that I've been the only parent she's had in her life for almost a year and a half.

Thanks for everyone's support. It really means a lot.

 

[AndVeeGeeMakes3]

Thanks for the update!!! I was really starting to worry.

I'm so sorry for the icky feeling about testifying. I TOTALLY know where you're coming from.

May 13th will be here before you know it . . . .

!!!!!

 

[SundayCrepes]

I think waiting is worse than knowing. I'm sorry you have to wait. Just keep lovin' your baby 'cuz there's not much else you can do right now.

 

[Smithie]

I could feel their eyes boring into my side when they talked about how "the foster mother wants to adopt the child."

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If they truly think that this reflects badly on YOU, then that says a whole lot about THEM. They'd prefer that their child/grandchild had spent basically their entire life to date with a mother figure who HADN'T totally bonded with her and DIDN'T want to keep her forever?

 

[Whistler]

Oh, I have been wondering how this went. Thanks for letting us know. I'll keep you in my prayers as May 13 approaches.

 

[Sierra]

It's tough! Surprised they ask foster parents to testify in a court proceeding related to TPR. Would never happen here, due to potential conflict of interest especially in a foster-adopt situation. It never ceases to amaze me how different places do things differently.

Thinking of you.

 

[pixiekisses]

Thanks for the update, and I'll keep thinking of you, crossing my fingers for May 13th.

 

[Polliwog]

I don't think they would have asked me if I hadn't been there. But it is strange that the rules are so different from place to place.

 

[Thandiwe]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethNC I could feel their eyes boring into my side when they talked about how "the foster mother wants to adopt the child." Of course, I want to adopt her. But I'm not out to steal anyone's child. The reality is that the court will decide her future. All I know is that I've been the only parent she's had in her life for almost a year and a half.

Ooooohhh that makes my blood boil! Wouldn't it be a h*** of a lot worse if you DIDN'T care and DIDN'T want her?? The case has NOTHING to do with you wanting to adopt her; you never interfered with the case, so how could your love for her possibly stand in the way of his progress (or lack there-of)?? Makes me furious!

You're in my thoughts and prayers as you begin the wait until May 13.

 

[tiffani]

 

[crazycat]

I hardly ever post here, but was reading you thread and wanted to reply. We adopted our oldest son through the foster care system - just over two years from his placement with us at 18 months of age to finalization, and he had been in hospitals his whole life prior so ours was the first family he had actually lived with. (He did know and have a bond with his birth mother, though.) Anyway, I had to testify at her TPR hearing. Even though there was no way she could ever parent him, she did love him and was contesting TPR. It was really tough, especially since I was sitting right in front of her and had to say directly that no, I did not think she could parent him safely. (She had spent almost a month coming to our home to try to learn his medical cares so I was there while his nurses were attempting to teach her - very unusual case but that was why I was called to testify.) Fortunately she did not try to appeal the decision. They never mentioned us as wanting to adopt him, though. Here we are given the option to make contact after finalization (through the sw if we want), but birth families are not informed of who the adoptive family is, or even if the child was adopted - it's kept confidential after TPR.

I will keep you and your dfd in my prayers, especially on the 13th.

 

[Polliwog]

I really don't like all that secrecy. Unless, of course, there was a safety concern. When the case plan changes to termination, the social worker and supervisor meet with the parents to see if they are interested in relinquishment instead. So, now that I think about it, he already knew that I wanted to adopt. I know with my son's birth family, DSS didn't contact mom and grandma but they could call and check in with the social worker. They wouldn't have been given any identifying information if they didn't already have it. But, in our case, they knew both adoptive mothers (soon to be one more since big sister will be adopted soon.)

How sad that your little boy spent his first 18 months in hospitals. Is he doing better now?

 

[crazycat]

I think the safety issues are why the info is kept secret, but the sw made it sound like that was standard policy here. I would have been fine with occasional contact if it would be just with bmom, especially because I know there are two or three half-siblings out there now, but with boyfriend and safety concerns with him and other family members we opted not to.

Ds is doing much better now thankfully. He does have many developmental challenges and some health challenges (improving steadily) but overall he is doing great and we are very pleased with his progress. He hasn't been in the hospital for over four years now - quite a difference from his younger years!

 

[Polliwog]

Well, court is tomorrow morning. I'd appreciate all the positive energy, prayers, or whatever you've got to send. I'm nervous about testifying but I know this child better than anyone else.

 

[Whistler]

Prayers coming from my direction. Hope all goes well and the ruling is in the best interest of Polliwog.

 

[AndVeeGeeMakes3]

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[heatherdeg]

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[Polliwog]

I'm so glad that I e-mailed the GAL about the location. She said that she's not on the case any longer since she just graduated and is home for the summer. But she forwarded me the information from her supervisor. And apparently, the time has been changed to 2:00 instead of being first thing in the morning. The SW just went out on maternity leave so I'm not exactly surprised, but still...

 

[an_aurora]

PT coming from me

 

[tiffani]

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