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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>In march 2010, we found out that I lost our baby at 19 weeks.  It was a girl and I have two living boys age 8 and 6.  For 8 months after our loss, I tried and tried to get pregnant.  But it never happened.  Last week dh told me he was unwilling to have another child.  He says his mind cannot be changed,  No more kids.  So, I go from a baby in my belly, and all that entails to the knowledge I will never again have a baby.  And my boys are so big.  And I feel like the last year of my life which was hell has now been in vain.  No happy ending for me.  No daughter for me.  Never.  And I go from baby dreams back to my real life where my kids are big.  I don't even know how to move through this with dh.  I am so angry and hurt and sad and he just does not understand.  But I am 40, so it isn't like we can change our minds in a couple of years.  He doesn't want another baby.  He knows this for sure.</p>
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<p>It's so ironic I was at my therpaists telling her that everything that could have happened to make my loss worse had happened.  Both my SIL had babies right when I was supposed to.  Another got pregnant during that time.  All had daughters.  Many friends got pregnant during the last few months.  Only me, who has always been pregnant on the first try, suddenly couldn't get pregnant anymore.  So, I tell my therapist this, and then I go home and dh tells me he has decided no more babies.  Oh, yeah, the last terrible thing that could have happened surrounding my miscarraige has happened. I never thought dh would do this.  But he is serious and it doesn't seem like there is much poing in trying to get him to change his mind.   It's all over for me. ): </p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"> I don't know what to say and maybe there really isn't anything anyone can <em>say</em> to make this feel better. I'm so so sorry for this double loss for you mama. I hope that somehow with time you'll be able to find a peace and healing.</span></p>
 

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<p>i am in a similar position with my dh. PM me if you want. It is a hard raod!</p>
 

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<p>I am so sorry, mama. I hope that somehow you two come to a place of agreement as far as more kids go....... well, honestly I hope he changes his mind or you get an OOOPS daughter but things like that are too big for me to wish for people. <span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"> I'm sorry you are dealing with this right now.</span></p>
 

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<p>i am really sorry...this must feel like another loss for you--a loss of your future baby.  i wish i had some comforting advice, but all i can offer is hugs, and i hope your dh changes his mind.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif" style="width:38px;height:16px;"></span></p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<p>Thanks mamas.</p>
<p>It's hard.  I am trying to see it from DH point of view and be understanding.  But, I also feel like he has taken from me the one hope I had: that his would somehow turn out all right in the end.  I don't know what will happen in my marraige.  I am sad.  And so tired of being sad.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_8_1321161778612_156" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif" style="width:38px;height:16px;"></span> I am so very sorry.</p>
 

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<p>What a difficult place to be in. I can relate on some level. My partner is younger and has no kids of his own but he is also unsure about TTC after our late loss. It's a tough thing to look ahead and face the possibility of no more babies. Are you getting support through therapy? It's been a great help to me since I lost my son. Hugs.</p>
 
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