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I just got called into my boss's office to offically be warned about my attendance. Yes, it has been less than stellar lately... I'm pregnant with fibromyalgia dealing with a UAV H who is sucking the life right out of me.<br><br>
My DD has been sick a few times, and when she is up all night sick, I can't pull it together to get myself to work. Some days I make it... but lately I have not, not coupled with extreme exhaustion and some morning sickness thrown in for fun.<br><br>
I know I'm not getting enough rest at all...<br><br>
I just can't do this anymore... How the hell am I going to work full time, take care of two kids, deal with lawyers and custody battles and my illness?<br><br>
I'm losing my mind... completley losing it. I just don't know how I can keep going.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I wish I had some answers for you.<br><br>
I was in a similar situation about 15 years ago. I ended up leaving my job (voluntarily, not fired) because I finally realized that my employer deserved 100% and I couldn't give it. I went back to school, went into debt a little bit, but it was the best thing I could have done. School had its own worries but seriously, they weren't as bad as that sinking feeling of waking up every morning knowing I had to drag myself to work.<br><br>
I am not saying this is the answer for you...just that maybe change is in order...I hope you find some peace today.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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i'm sorry - something like that would completely ruin my day.<br><br>
i would want to know exactly what the policies are on sick leave, so i'd know whether i had even done anything wrong. of course, in the real world beyond silly corporate policies, you haven't done anything wrong. taking care of yourself is important, and dragging yourself in to work, exhausted, does not make for a productive employee.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Well I talked to HR and she suggested to file an intermittent FMLA claim now to excuse all my abscences. So I filed today.<br><br>
But she was also really understanding and told her about what was going on and some of the recent things I have had to deal with in regards to H and she told me I can do this and that I am strong and that I am fighting back even if I don't feel it. She said just by sitting and talking to her and talking to counselors, it's all fighting back, how internally I'm still telling myself what he is doing is wrong and unacceptable.<br><br>
So HR knows... my boss knows that I filed for FMLA coverage.<br><br><br>
I just really really really need a break from it all. I think even just one day totally alone to soak in a bath and nap would really help. I feel totally tapped out all the time and there is just so much to do and so many phone calls to make to try to sort out so much stuff...<br><br>
I'm trying to take one thing at a time... but the list never seems to get smaller. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I think you've really gotten to the point where you know something in your life has to change. Even though it'll take work to get there, I think things will be easier without your H sucking up your energy like some kind of psychic vampire.<br>
I'm glad that you talked to the HR lady, and what she said was right on. It's when you cover up for him and hide what he does that your giving in. By speaking out, you are fighting.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
You are strong enough obviously. I imagine in your not so distant past, that if this had came up you would have handled it differently. You would have covered up the real reasons as far as they are related to your H and issues in your marriage.<br><br>
It is hard work to do what you are doing and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be in your situation with pregnancy and the health issues. But you've come such a long way in the past year (and a lot in recent months), that I just don't see you as giving up this time. You see what's happening and you sound determined to help yourself even if you have low times where you just don't think you can do it anymore.<br><br>
Pat yourself on the back, you called HR and asked to see if there was anything that you could do to ease this particular stress, and you got results! You did this completely on your own! I am so happy for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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many hugs to you. i've done intermittent FMLA more than once and am in Human Resources, so if you have any questions feel free to send me a PM.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm glad you were able to take FMLA. Interesting how even one day of you time can help temporarily fill your cup and give you the strength to keep going. It doesn't have to be a mountain of change all at once. That's doable.
 

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I am so sorry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> My only advice is to maybe break things down in to smaller, more manageable chunks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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