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this is really hard for me to admit. i may not spank but i've realised lately that i've been spanking with my mouth. here's the deal- i have a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old. once upon a time when Lily would throw a fit i'd be able to recite ;she's testing her boundaries' over and over until i could calmy resolve the isse. but of late it feels as if all i do is yell and i know i'm to blame. seeing as how this is one of my first posts i'm certain you all are going to feel i am being so awful. i feel that way too. this really does need to change. so i have two questions...

1) how do i redeem myself? i know this is a hard one to answer because everyone is in a diffrent place but i really am stumped. Lily is now always afraid i'm going to yell at her. she's gotten to the point where if she does someting she's not suppose to she runs up to me and tearfully apologizes. oh man, i feel like the worse mom ever!
:

2) how can i keep my cool? all the things that use to work don't seem to anymore. any thoughts? suggestions? stories of example?

again, i know this is bad. i just hope you all don't think i'm a lost cause and evil as evil can be.
 

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I've been pretty short tempered lately too - maybe it's the heat and humidity around here...

I think an apology is always appreciated and helps to put our anger in perspective for them. Maybe equate your emotional experience with something she has experienced and see if she empathises. I don't think you've done any permanent harm. 2.5 year olds are pretty savvy when you use language they relate to.

The second issue is, I think, just a matter of looking after yourself - getting enough sleep, feeling unrushed, having a rhythm or routine that you follow and she knows. Removing the stresses in our days gives us immeasurably more resources than when we're feeling spent and pressed for time.

I have found journalling my parenting experiences to be a really therapeutic exercise and a great way for me to exorcise my guilts and analyse my issues. Whether you like to put pen to paper or write a weblog, it's the act of recording it that puts more awareness into every day and gives us an opportunity to analyse mistakes and try new strategies.
 

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I can't give you any advice, because I'm in the same situation with ds
I feel awful and it seems the more I yell and get involved in these rediculous power struggles, the more confrontational ds becomes. And I don't even have a baby- just ds. Your patience is probably worn thin, and I imagine sleep deprivation is wearing you out, too. I think the key to it may be to NOT react to annoying behaviours (like my ds drinking, gargelling and then spitting back into his cup at a family dinner
). It seems like my telling ds not to do X is an invitation for him to proceed to do X about a million times.
But really, no, I don't know what to do and I just feel like
:
 

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I agree with the PP who said the heat & humidity may have something to do with it. I have been VERY short with DD1 these last few days. I am hot, sticky, and orchestrating a move from NC to Ga - I just cannot deal with things that normally wouldn't phase me. Apologize & be good to yourself.
 
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