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I've got aname..but dh thinks he should name the baby

493 Views 8 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  suziek, 
completebeginnings
So I have a name for this baby. It is my 4th pregnancy and I have never felt so close to the baby as I do this one. I know the gender with out a doubt and I know her name. It sounds weird but it came to me in a dream and I know it is what her name is supposed to be. I named all of our other 3 children(well we mutually agreed but I came up with the names) so my dh thinks he should get to name this one and is putting up a stink about it. I figure I am the one pregnant and the one who has to push this baby out I should be able to name her what ever I want.
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I know there is still plenty of time(I'm 11 weeks 2 days) but any ideas on getting dh to budge? With the last one he was supposed to name him as well. I told him my favorite name at 20 weeks and the baby was born and dh used the name I suggested, but he isn't being nearly as open to suggestion as before.
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Theoretica
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Quote:

Originally Posted by completebeginnings View Post
So I have a name for this baby. It is my 4th pregnancy and I have never felt so close to the baby as I do this one. I know the gender with out a doubt and I know her name. It sounds weird but it came to me in a dream and I know it is what her name is supposed to be. I named all of our other 3 children(well we mutually agreed but I came up with the names) so my dh thinks he should get to name this one and is putting up a stink about it. I figure I am the one pregnant and the one who has to push this baby out I should be able to name her what ever I want.
:

I know there is still plenty of time(I'm 11 weeks 2 days) but any ideas on getting dh to budge? With the last one he was supposed to name him as well. I told him my favorite name at 20 weeks and the baby was born and dh used the name I suggested, but he isn't being nearly as open to suggestion as before.
Well, to be fair, neither are you. He wants to pick this name. You've picked all the others. I'd say back off and wait it out for a few months, let him play with some names. Send emails here and there saying hey I like this and this name, what do you think?

When I was pregnant w/#4 last year, I thought I had a name for her. Then one day DH says 'I know her name' and tells me he dreamed it. It didn't really stick for me very well, but I agreed to think it over. Really what I was doing was waiting to see if he'd change his mind. I did NOT put my foot down and refuse to 'allow' him to name his own child. In the end, it was *really* important to him. So why not? Now I can always tell her the story about how her daddy picked her name because it came to him in a dream. That's how I got the name for kiddo #3, so why not him too?

When she was born I still was wondering if it was 'her' name or not. Now, a year later, I wouldn't change it for the world. It fits her perfectly and I'm so proud he was able to be that involved, and feel so validated, from day one. He just bursts that he picked her name, it's feminine and strong and awesome...and HIS
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B
I can't help you with any suggestions, but in our house we share equally in the naming. We both make lists of names we like, then we go through each other's lists and cross out what we absolutely cannot stand. Then, if anything is duplicated, those are put at the top of a list, with all the others listed below it. We do this after the gender u/s, and then we "try out" each name for baby over the next 20ish weeks.

With DS, we weren't able to find out the gender, so we did a list for a boy's name and a girl's name. We actually didn't finally agree on DS' name until the night before he was born.

I don't share the belief that because I'm the one pregnant and giving birth I should have more say in a name...this is DH's child too and he should get a say. That's just how it works in our house, though...YMMV.
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Norasmomma
What if she's a boy? I'm just saying, I'm right with ya on intuition though, I pretty positive we got a boy this time.

I am a firm believer that it is a 50-50 decision between the parents to name the child. I'd even be open to suggestions from DD(although at 2.5 her's are interesting). I must say though DD keeps saying the baby is a baby brother, and his name should be Olin, which is very close to Owen the name DH and I like. So her suggestion isn't so off the mark.

I think he deserves his chance too, especially if you've named the last 3. No WAY would my DH go for that, but we have a 50-50 say....it is half his child also.
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H
im letting dh pretty much pick the name cause he is actually interested to do so and i want him to feel as much apart of this process as i am. anyway one gets used to a name, personality matters more.
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completebeginnings
I think I would have less of an issue if his names matched our other kids names. They are Dannica, Harrison, and Everett. He wanted to name our last Abraham (which is a very nice biblical name)..and was insistent that it not be shortened and out popped this white blond baby. I think that helped change his mind a bit. We have always agreed but I was the one who found/came up with their names and put them on the table first. It has always been 50/50 and I would never push a name he absolutely hated. It will be interesting to see what happens. I just like for my family for the names to be similar(they are all more classic not unheard of but not terribly popular). I have a friend who has 6 kids and the last ones name(as adorable as the baby is)just does not match the rest of the family..Hannah, Halley,CJ,Anthony,Jamie and Chuck. I am afraid that is what is going to happen with our last child. That the name just won't fit. But I am not going to throw a fit about it. It will be interesting to see what happens.
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F
Well, it's hard for me to identify because no name jumps out at me and I don't feel necessarily close with my baby yet at all. Still just feels like a concept rather than a reality. But I'm responding because my mom, when pregnant with me, felt an unusual closeness and felt she difinitively knew I was a girl and knew my name from almost the moment she learned she was pregnant, not because she fancied it but because it WAS my name. She felt that I, myself, had come to her in a dream before-hand. The fact that she felt this inexplicable bond with me always made me feel so special and it sounds kind of like what you're saying you feel.

I suppose I would just sit the hubby down and say something like oh my gosh I know I've basically named them all but something about this feels more compelling this time and would you consider indulging me? (Does he know the name you want? Does he like it or dislike it?) I know if DH was grappling with an overwhelming compulsion I would want to hear more and would certainly feel sensitive to what that was all about.

I often go through the feeling that I am having to do all of this/go through all of this really awful stuff and I feel entitled sometimes and I know that's not a healthy equitable frame of mind for a happy marriage - he didn't do this TO me. ha! I willingly went in knowing of the possible "side effects". I think had it not been soooo rough so far with the HG, fainting, throwing up blood clots, etc that I wouldn't feel so entitled...but it certainly doesn't feel like a balanced experience for us - so I know what you're saying. But as one sister to another, I suggest a soft loving approach regardless of how mama-bear you feel about the name. Feel the situation out, let some time pass, etc.

Do you feel like sharing the name by the way? I am so curious about everyone's picks. DH and I still got nuthin'!

**oh! Looks like we were responding at the same time**
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Serenyd
My aunt is named a name that came to my grandfather in a dream. It makes a great family story! I think if it is that important to you, you should talk to your husband about it, letting him know your feelings in a non-coercing way, and then let the subject drop for a while.
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S
I think it is lovely that your DH feel so passionate about naming your baby. For our first three, DH and I agreed upon names very easily. For out fourth, DH really had a name he was really in love with. I was not so into the name, but really, really loved how excited Dh was. So he named our latest. Like a PP's dh, he is very proud of the name. Needless to say, I have grown to love it. It suits our beautiful boy perfectly.

I don't see myself as the one "pushing the baby out" etc. In fact, I see this baby as a gift from DH. Not many men in my world would consider having more than two children--I feel lucky DH loves kids so much! That's just my way of looking at things, of course.
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