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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am a new poster/reader, referred here by a support line. I am going absolutely crazy, because I've had to suddenly wean my almost 3 year old, and it has been emotionally devastating for both of us. I always planned to let him decide, but when we went to have our discussion about the embryo transfer, our Dr. told us that the progesterone injections would immediately dry up my milk. I though that was kind of handy because I could then explain to my son that they weren't working and then he could still suck for comfort if he wanted to. Well, it didn't happen that way. The milk kept coming and it still is, but I've had to stop breastfeeding the day of the embryo transfer because they told me it would endanger the pregnancy to keep breastfeeding. We stopped cold turkey, but not without some gentle preparation involving my son's ideas for what we can do instead. He has been wonderfully adaptive, in asking for the alternatives, but the poor guy is desperate for control and the situation is making our lives miserable. Everything I do is done the wrong way or has to be done over, and I even suspect the development of a nervous tic (eyes widening then blinking.) This combined with being pumped full of estrogen and progesterone is making us all crazy. Does ANYONE have any ideas or supportive words of wisdom? I hate not being able to comfort my son the way we're used to. We are all grieving the loss of "having mimis". and I feel as if both our hearts have been ripped out.
 

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Hugs to you. IVF meds are hell, I remember. Sigh.

I'm curious as to what specifically about BFing around embryo transfer would endanger a pregnancy. I do know from painful experience that IVF is not like a natural conception in any way, and so some of the rules of a natural pregnancy can't apply. However, I feel somewhat suspicious of this advice you have received... it sounds very very much like advice other pregnant women receive from their doctors about BFing during pregnancies achieved through natural means.

Therefore, not to send you on a wild goose chase or anything, really!
but I think it might be helpful to check out www.drjacknewman.com for information here. He is extremely knowledgeable and does answer email, and there may be information on the site itself that can help as well.

I do understand that IVF is high intensity, high hormones, high emotions, lots of pain, a huge rollercoaster, and I wish you and your family all the best, wherever you decide to go with the BFing of your little guy. At this point you have given him three wonderful years and the difficulties you're experiencing with him might also be there if you were nursing - I can't imagine going through IVF with a three-year-old in tow - you are a strong mama! If you do some more research and it helps you feel better about your decision, or supports any feeling you might have to want to continue BFing, either way you have done great to get this far.

Hang in there.
 

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BTDT.

My RE didn't want me BFing during my natural frozen cycle. BFing reduces the odds that the cycle will work and he wasn't crazy about the estrogne transfer. So I weaned my daughter a little early. I tried to make it up to her by celebrating the weaning. Honor your grief over the loss of that part of your relationship. Talk to a friend or LLL leader.

Here's hoping for a BFP!
 

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I am also wondering this. My ds is only 4 months old, but we will be doing a frozen transfer sometime after his 1st birthday. I really wanted to breastfeed until at least 2, but I'm not sure if I want to wait that long to do a FET. I talked to the IVF nurse and she told me I would have to stop nursing. My LLL leader told me to look into Dr. Hales book to see if the meds are truly incompatible with breastfeeding.

I am torn. I would hate to wean before we are ready, but I would also hate to have the cycle fail, and always wonder if it was nursing that did it. I know I have quite awhile to decide, but I still worry.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Hello, just an update...I decided that since my son is here now, I needed to take care of him and my family, so we resumed breastfeeding on the 21st, exactly a week since we stopped. The changes are remarkable, although not unexpected. I will let you all know the results of our pregnancy test on the 28th. I guess a week for the embryo(s) to implant was more helpful than nothing. It seems to me that after searching, there just isn't any evidence either way, and that some just want to be as cautious as possible to increase the odds no matter what. I really appreciate the support and links, and I'm glad I found this board. Thanks!
Bonnie
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Stumom View Post
Hello, just an update...I decided that since my son is here now, I needed to take care of him and my family, so we resumed breastfeeding on the 21st, exactly a week since we stopped. The changes are remarkable, although not unexpected. I will let you all know the results of our pregnancy test on the 28th. I guess a week for the embryo(s) to implant was more helpful than nothing. It seems to me that after searching, there just isn't any evidence either way, and that some just want to be as cautious as possible to increase the odds no matter what. I really appreciate the support and links, and I'm glad I found this board. Thanks!
Bonnie
Thanks for the update. Sending hugs to you and your little one, and sticky vibes also.
 

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HUGS to you!

My son was conceived through assisted fertility and we struggled with timing a second child ~ we also struggled with the financial ability to increase our family.

When my son was just over 2, DH and I talked a LOT about weaning to increase my chances of conception (we have unexplained IF), doing many natural fertility enhancers and using a fertility monitor to increase our chances until we could get an apointment with the fertility clinic and go forward.

I had two miscarriages within 6 months which was frustrating on many levels because 1) we conceived both times naturally; but 2) I didn't know if the miscarriages were due to my continued nursing. In March, I conceived again and this pregnancy has "stuck" and I am 36w1d today. I am still nursing my son who will be 3.5 on the baby's due date.

I send positive thoughts and such hope to you - it is NOT an easy decision (my DH and my mom are STILL at this point concerned about my continued nursing!) but I came to the same conclusion that you did. My son is here now and any possible new baby is just a possibilty. I didn't want to be sad and mourn for weaning of my son before he was ready (even though he's nearly 3.5!) in exchange for the hope of another baby.

HUGS and more HUGS to you and I wish you the very best and pray for a BFP for you!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, my pregnancy test (stick and blood test) came back negative. I feel relieved, sad, confused about the breastfeeding because I'll never know the real answer, and unsyre what to do if our last 3 embryos are viable. Part of me says to follow the non breastfeeding while trying to get pregnant advice, and part of me feels like I'm being tricked into it orjust unsupported by undereducated fertility doctors. I just don't know what I will do in January when we try again. Any thoughts?
Bonnie
 

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Sorry about your BFN. I have done a fresh cycle while breastfeeding and now on my second FET. There are some threads in the Infertilty that might be helpful to you and also on the LLL bulletin boards. It is a hard decision to make.

Anne
 

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I am no doctor, but I went through IVF when my daughter was 9 months old. They told me it would be ok until I started the heavy hormones, but I researched it and found that it should be ok for her. So I kept nursing without telling them. I still got preggo with no problem and ended up weaning myself off the hormones early because they were making me so sick (again, the doc didnt know). HOWEVER-I am not infertile, so it is a bit different (this was for a surrogacy).
I do find it hard to believe that breastfeeding would make it that much less likely that you would get pregnant. I mean, they are messing with your hormones and that would be the only reason that I can think of that breastfeeding normally prevents pregnancy. But its moot when they are getting the hormones to the level they want, right?
You could always pump for like once a day during the transfer, just to keep a small amount of milk going, and then once the pregnancy has occured, start either pumping or nursing full time again. Sorry if this doesnt help
 
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