Actor and father James Van Der Beek recently shared that he believes that 'miscarriage' is an ugly, accusatory word, and something should change in how we look at the misnomer.
Actor James Van Der Beek recently shared adorable pictures of him and his beautiful new baby girl Gwendolyn, but he also shared his heart when he told followers that he believes the way society looks at the word 'miscarriage' is all wrong.
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Van Der Beek, whose wife Kimberly has suffered three miscarriages, said that the prefix in the word miscarriage was just 'wrong.' He said that using that terminology implies that a mother has done something wrong, and implies it's the mother's fault somehow that she lost their precious baby.
In a heartfelt Insta post, he said that he wants to 'wipe the blame' a mother often feels (and has given to her simply by using the word) and take away the guilt and shame so many feel when they've lost a baby.
Van Der Beek encouraged parents to allow the grief that comes with pregnancy loss to be what it is--painful and heartbreaking, and to not allow that grief to be judged or rationalized as so many often do. He went on to say that the loss is due a 'rightful space,' and that there is beauty in recognizing that you'll not be the same as you were before.
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The changes he claims happen as a result of pregnancy loss can be gifts, he believes, with the right perspective, and that only when we have a new, non-blaming word for the experience of this type of loss can we have that without guilt and blame. Mothers (and fathers) commented over and over their thanks for his recognition of the pain that comes with pregnancy loss, and the desire for words different than the medical profession often deems when a mother suffers a miscarriage.
Photo: James Van Der Beek/Instagram