[Jadzia]

This morning, DH was telling me about a segment on CNN he saw that made him angry. I guess Sanjay Gupta is now a new dad and he was doing a segment on CNN about new fathers. He was interviewing a pediatrician and asking for advice on how to deal with the sleepless nights.

The pediatrician said (in a very serious way, not joking at all) that when his his wife was pregnant, he spoke to her about the importance of breastfeeding, so that when the baby was born he didn't HAVE to get up at all!

This really bugged DH (who has been up as much as I have with our nursing son.) The doctor didn't even mention that BF'ing was better for ther baby or anything, just that it was better for the HUSBAND.

What an ass!

 

[Ruthla]

At least he mentioned BF as something positive, not in a "she won't let me feed the baby" kind of way.

 

[Janice in Canada]

Well, if we are talking about breastfeeding as a biological norm, I think this is closer to the "biological norm", than having dads intimately involved and trying to bottle feed baby.

Amongst my dh and his peers (college educated men in their 40's) this WAS the greatest reason to breastfeed - dad couldn't do it. Sure dh helped in the first few weeks, especially when I was really engorged and having trouble with latch, (had to hand express before baby could even latch). But, ftmp, i did it all baby care myself. (Oh yah, he was a big help with bathing baby, too, and actually took over all baths for awhile).

But here in Canada we have one year maternity leaves for mom - so it just made sense for me to take on baby care completely, since he had to get up for work the next day, and I didn't.

While Gupta's statement may not be "politically correct" in this modern world that somehow wants fathers to be mothers, too - I think it is much closer to the biological truth than the common thinking of this bottle feeding dominant world, which has women denying their biological talents - breastfeeding.

Janice

 

[TiredX2]

Of course, that is one of the reasons one of my SIL weaned--- they DB would have to start getting up at night half the time

Like that happened (and she did it three times).

 

[Jadzia]

What I was mostly bothered about, besides the fact that he made that sound like that was the "only" benefit of breastfeeding-- was I wondered how many future moms might hear that and be turned off of breastfeeding. They might think "hey if a male chauvinist wants me to breastfeed, then maybe it's not such a good idea."

And I agree Janice that is is the biological norm for the woman to feed the baby and I have no issue with that. What upset my DH and me is that it made it sound like the husband could just sleep through the all the night time baby care. My DH certianly couldn't feed the baby but he was (and is) more than involved at night. He knew I was the one who had to feed the baby, so he would always take care of nighttime diaper changes, or run to get me a bottle of water or a Luna bar when I was bfing at 3am. I never had to get up out of bed, but he did!

In those early weeks, if I couldn't get the baby to nurse back to sleep, I'd even hand him back to DH to burp or rock while I tried to squeeze in an hour of rest.

And just to clarify, it was not Gupta who made the jerk statement, it was some other doctor he was interviewing.

 

[Meiri]

Years ago, when a relative of theirs was chewing out a friend of ours for not getting up at night with the baby, he pointed out that she was breastfeeding. It's a simple fact of natural life, nothing more, nothing less. In the case of our friends, he did a good bit of other baby care. He just didn't have to at night when feeding was the main thing.

 

[Delta]

I saw that too. It was Bob Sears (the son). Unfortunately, none of his answers were very good, IMO. I knew where he was going and what he meant, but he did not explain himself very well on anything.

When a question was asked about babies who cry all the time (as in colic), Dr. Sears started in on the schpiel about cortisol levels and all that. Dr. Sears was was talking about the harmful affects of CIO, basically, and not addressing the issue of colic.

It was just weird all around.

 

[Greaseball]

I pumped and dh did half the night feedings, even in the early weeks, even while I was still co-sleeping.

 

[shelbean91]

My dh was in school with an 18 year old kid who's girlfriend got pregnant. They were forced to get married by her parents (kid honestly believed her parents would kill him- apparently very traditional parents, not native to US). Dh told him to have the girlfriend breastfeed for the very reason given. I don't know if he gave any other reasons, but if she breastfed b/c of that one thing, isn't it better than not bf? I mean, of course there are TONS of other benefits, but whatever works, right? It's one less baby getting formula.

 

[Kari_mom]

I went to www.askdrsears.com to check the guy out. I think Dr. Bob is a reasonably decent guy who comes off as a dweeb.

 

[elyice]

that was a silly reason.
I once saw a interview with the Smiths (will and jada - can't stand them btw) and they said that Will woke up even though Jada was nursing, just to keep her company.
I told dh that.. he didn't buy it

 

[mely]

My BIL used to get up and get the baby out of the crib at night, he would change her and then he'd bring her to SIL to nurse. Then he would bring the baby back to bed. I don't always agree with things BIL and SIL do but that was one of the nicest things I've heard in a long time.

 

[merpk]

Well, yeah, it's a silly reason, but

he's right.

It was actually one of the best reasons that convinced DH to go along with the family bed in the first place when our first was on the way ... that he wouldn't have to get up because of a crying baby.

Now we've got b'H six in the bed, all told. And DH is a family bed fanatic, loves advocating for it.

Not thinking of it as chauvinistic, actually. Everyone needs their sleep, and I'm the only one here with the milk-making magic, so hey, lucky him. And hey, lucky me.

 

[darsmama]

My dh wakes up at night and always has with Darlene to help keep me company or to help me bottle feed her, maybe he isn't coherant but he's awake with us.
While we were trying to breastfeed he was right there trying to help, getting me water, pillows whatever we needed. "Spotting" me if you will, trying to help find the right positions.

Will and Jade might have been telling the truth

 

[soccerchic21]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jadzia What I was mostly bothered about, besides the fact that he made that sound like that was the "only" benefit of breastfeeding-- was I wondered how many future moms might hear that and be turned off of breastfeeding. They might think "hey if a male chauvinist wants me to breastfeed, then maybe it's not such a good idea."

It is silly to only state that reason but what if now a bunch of dads will encourage their partners to nurse because of that reason that they saw on CNN. I too did all night feedings for DD and DH picked up in other places like diaper changes in the early morning, bath time, getting me water during the day, etc.