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Dear Mamas,<br><br>
I am currently miscarrying my 4th pregnancy this year and as the OB stated yesterday "what are we going to do with you?!?"<br><br>
I am no longer part of my DDC or PAL and don't even feel comfortable on the birth loss and miscarriage page anymore as I have had so many losses in such a short amount of time.<br><br>
The attitude I am getting now on these boards is "oh gees, we're sorry, now lets move on...."<br><br>
People now seem like it is acceptable to say "well, focus on your healthy three children", or "it is your bodys' way of telling you something", or everything happens for a reason".<br><br>
I don't even get sympathy anymore because the attitude is "well, you knew what you were getting yourself into so you shouldn't be surprised by the miscarriage".<br><br>
How freaking insensitive!!! Like the fourth loss hurts any less than the first!<br><br>
People now avoid me because they are "so sick and tired" of hearing my pain or bad news. Well, I am "so sick and tired" of living it!!!! As a result, I barely told anyone about this pregnancy because of that....<br><br>
The OB has washed his hands of me stating that my file is the thickest of any of his patients and he will give me a referral to an RE as soon as I find one.<br><br>
I feel like a cast off and a leper that no one wants to look at or be around.<br><br>
Maybe you mamas here can relate, maybe you can't but this feels like the only place where I might still be afforded some kind of understanding.<br><br>
Looking forward to getting to know you and learn the ropes...
 

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I'm very sorry to hear of your miscarriages. I cannot believe how insensitive everyone including your OB has been. In my opinion I would think the 4th one would be even harder than the first. I've only had 1 miscarriage and 1 healthy child and we are trying unsuccessfully for #2. I was absolutely devastated and amazed how people just blew it off like it was no big deal. For what it's worth you won't get the blow off from this board. I also go the askdrsears.com. They have an infertility board they just added not too long ago. They also have skin problems, nutrition, ap parenting, sleep and breast feeding. The ladies on that board are wonderful, caring and sensitive. I visit there often. If you have a problem you get immediate posts and you don't have to sign in or anything. I hope to see you there. Take care and I hope you have nice holidays
 

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Oh, Rosemary, I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Infertility and loss can be so very isolating, because most people don't know how to relate to us. I hope you are able to find an RE quickly, and I sincerely hope they are able to find out what is causing these losses to keep happening. If I were there irl, I'd be crying with you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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People just don't know, do they? I had a mc very early in my first pregnancy and I was glad that I had told so few people that I was pregnant at all. The thought of people talking about it lightly, even if it wasn't in front of me, just made me crazy. I am so sorry for your loses, and for the lack of support you are getting. Good luck to you.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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I wanted to add that I know all too well that feeling of not fitting in, not belonging to a support thread when you're dealing with loss and infertility. It's hard to know where to go to talk about it, to know where you can vent and cry and receive some virtual hugs to help you through the harder days. I hope you are able to find some comfort here. There are some amazing women on this board. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Couldn't read and not reply. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I find it hard to believe that some people are so insensitive. Just wanted to send a big <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> your way. Every loss hurts, and everyone need somebody to talk to about it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
Elizabeth
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I am sorry you have been bombarded with insensitivity<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I hope you find comfort for your soul here....<br><br><br>
And a good re who can help you....<br><br><br>
Be kind to yourself~
 

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I'm so sorry.<br><br>
I sit here 40 min. away from leaving work for the day and going to an u/s to see if I will also be suffering my 4th loss in a year (or to see if we'll be on pins and needles still).<br><br>
I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for it, as I did the last time, but, you're right, it hurts just as much.<br><br>
I'm sorry you haven't gotten any understanding, I truly, understand the pain of multiple losses.<br><br>
Hugs.<br><br>
I wish you hope and healing.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I'm sorry for your losses and for the lack of support. Thinking about you and your family.
 

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I wanted to say, again, that this is such a sad place.<br><br>
I had a positive u/s, but today I'm feeling horribly sad, and worried that my symptoms are less.<br><br>
I can't believe that people would think that "you know what you're getting yourself into" and think in any way that it might be your fault.<br><br>
(I'd like to kick them for thinking that)<br><br>
You're only wanting a baby, no one wants a miscarriage. No one would assume they're going to have one. We all try to think positive, and that it will work out this time.<br><br>
Hugs, hugs.<br><br>
I hope you find some answers and healing, and that the RE might begin to address things for you.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: I want to echo what everyone said above. I am so sorry for this loss and for your other losses also. Just because you have had so many in such a short period doesn't mean you should get less support, it means you should be getting more. I have had three losses in the span of three years and am pregnant with my fourth child, and current my only living one. I am so scared to lose this one, not only for the heartache, but also to get that from my family and friends, "You've been through this before. You should be used to it." I won't be able to stand it. I have been in pregnancy and birth loss, in PAL, in three DDCs and on the infertility board. Every day can be a struggle, but I am praying for you and your babies and for you to find out what's wrong and for a take-home baby for you.<br><br>
P.S. I would kick that doctor in the head and then kick him to the curb and find another one STAT!
 

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It's traumatic enough to be TTC unsuccessfully. .. It's got to be even more difficult to experience loss along with it. I'm so sorry and I'm sending great big virtual hugs. I hope this place gives you a community who understands.
 
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