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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's all starting to get to me now. I've been trying to figure out why I'm getting stressed and this is all I can figure out. Ds is getting better with the new baby, but with me giving so much time to nursing etc, of course he's acting out some. So I spend almost any free time I have with him. But I also have this thing where I need to keep the house clean, laundry done etc, or I feel like I'm being a bad wife, and clutter just gets to me. I thought I'd get up earlier, but come on, getting up every few hours at night makes me grab sleep when I can. So come nap time I'm doing everything I can to keep organized/caught up. But I feel like it's all starting to pressure me and my toddler and baby are picking up on it. It's like I can't even fully relax and enjoy my boys anymore. Help me someone. Am I the only one going through this? And no, I don't have any family around for help and dh is working from 6-6+, so he does what he can to help. I know I need to let some of the house go for lack of better wording, but I don't know how to do that and not end up with a disaster house. Or, since I've been keeping it this way from the start, I don't want dh to think "well, what happened?".
 

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Oh my gosh, I could have typed your post. UGH. It's rough stuff. I'm with you on that. My mantra is "this is only temporary". I'm the same way with the housework. It doesn't help the the in laws just Stop by all the time and they are anal retentive when it comes to their house. So I'm like always freaked out they are going to see my home destroyed. I don't know why I can't just let that go...why do I care? Ugh. The other thing is, I know if I let it go...it will just get worse and worse and then I'll be even more overwhelmed. Plus the babe...well he's 6 mos gets up about 7 times a night.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> I totally get it. My DD really started acting out when DS was born. Every time I would sit down to BF she would get into something. My advice: it doesn't hurt to let the house get a little messy and sleep while they are sleeping. Your sanity and sleep is much more important. I had to learn this while being on bedrest for 5 weeks. It's totally not like me to let the house go, but I had no choice.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> My only advice is just hang on b/c it will get better as the baby get's older. The begining couple months can be ROUGH. Sleep when you can, clean in little bits here and there as you can. My ds is now 11mos old anad crawling and has become more independent. My 2.5 year old is FINALLY starting to be a little gentler with him.
 

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I am right there with you!!!! Ds gave up his nap and going to the potty 2 weeks ago though. Plus, dh has been working late at work and bringing work home (they are on a deadline). He hasn't even had time to pick up after himself so I am always scrambling to get stuff finished. I just know that this too shall pass. Hope it gets better for all of us soon! I am working on reminding the hubby that I am not his maid though. Maybe, he will devote 10 minutes to the house tonight. That usually happens on days I get upset (like this morning).
 

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I'm there, too... plus, I'm feeling totally touched out, so I'm getting irritated when one of them needs to be held and I can't move, much less when they both need to be held.
 

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<b><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';"><span style="font-size:small;"><span>BIG HUG.....<br>
I totally feel you! I was like that at first.... Felt like a bad wife if I didn't get myself dressed/hair/make-up, clean the entire house, cook all the meals, etc... Girl, your house will be there tomorrow! lol Hubby and I have divided up the house chores.. we don't have a list or anything, we just do them... But, seriously, relax, enjoy being with your babies ~ they grow up SOOOOO fast! Are they going to really remember that you didn't mop the floor one day or are they going to remember how you took them outside and played for an entire afternoon? I mean, my house isn't filthy/gross, and I do clean, but I've learned to relax a lot more! So what if the laundry sits on the couch over night ~ do people really come over all the time? And besides, if they're friends, they're not going to care. And, since I've relaxed a little about the house, I have more time to fix my make-up and get dressed (and feel like a woman) ~ Hubby likes that more than having a spotless house!<br><br>
Have a Fantastic Day!</span></span></span></b> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I thought some of my ddc might be here<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> juvysen-touched out-I am completely there. And dh wants intimate time.<br>
I keep telling myself it will get better. I don't know if it will get easier when ds is crawling or harder. Our inlaws aren't coming until xmas, though my mil is visiting in Sept. It makes it frustrating because then I have to pick up after them since they don't get the concept I'm busy enough. Dh has been really good about taking our 2yr old out for dad time just to give me a break. But I know he wants mommy too, and some days it's all I can do to keep my patience with him. I was crying the other night when I was laying down with him a few minutes when he went to bed, because I realized how little he still is, and he just doesn't understand what's going on.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Juvysen</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8966405"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm there, too... plus, I'm feeling totally touched out, so I'm getting irritated when one of them needs to be held and I can't move, much less when they both need to be held.</div>
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I am right here too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm now almost three months into this juggling act, so I am not out of the woods yet - but here is what's helping me.<br><br>
I made a *very* short list of things that needed to get done everyday so that our house could run.<br>
*One load of laundry (not including cloth diapers)<br>
*one load of dishes<br>
*Pick up toys after bedtime (this was really for me, I get that crazy feeling when DS's toys are EVERYWHERE)<br>
*Go for a walk/go outside (for my sanity & health)<br><br>
I made a *very* short list of weekly things as well.<br>
*Wipe kitchen counters<br>
*Sweep kitchen floor<br>
*Grocery Store<br>
*Kitty Litter<br><br>
Thats it. In my house, you could leave off sweeping for a week or toys for a day (or 3). But for the most part, this is all I did for the first 2 months of DD's life.<br><br>
I'm finally getting to where I feel like I can keep our house clean like I did before DD was born. I'm finally feeling like I have the energy to do art with DS. Stuff like that, is slowly getting worked in - but if I get stressed... its back to minumum in a heartbeat.<br><br>
But most importantly: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> And give yourself a break. I mean, give yourself permission to spend time with your babies. Give yourself permission to focus on them during this period of adjustment and joy.
 

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Ugh...I totally hear you on the touched out part...I almost hate BFing (right now)...isn't that awful...but I feel like that. Then my hubby gets home and is like why don't you pay attention to me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: It;s like....WTF???? Can I just lay here and be left alone, PULEASE, for two seconds. I've had someone already sucking on me on all day and hanging on me and I've been attending to people emotionally and physically all day and I'm spent.
 
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