For the most part, sleep goes well. I seem to have strained my incision, probably when I started moving furniture last week, and it's a little bit red and inflamed now in the middle. I'm also really irritated by my clothing, and wish to offer advice to anyone having a baby: make sure you have at least one pair of pants/shorts that come up over your belly! If you do end up with a c-section for some reason, the under-belly styles will be very uncomfortable until it's fully healed.
This is something that never occured to me at all, not only because I didn't think I'd be having a c-section, but because I never really thought about the ramifications of said surgery.
At any rate, Rivkah seems to sleep all the time, for as long as 5 hours a night. I wake her up enough to latch on if she sleeps more than 4 hours, but she rarely even opens her eyes though she will nurse for a bit. She sleeps best flat on her back and swaddled, just like you're "supposed" to put them down. :LOL It's funny, I had to stop and consciously remember that Eli also slept this much as a newborn. When I think of Eli as a baby, I don't think of the new, sleep-eat-poop baby who doesn't do anything; I always picture him between 2 and 6 months old, with a big baby grin on his face. :LOL
My own sleep is fine too, but I have trouble getting comfortable because of the incision and a little bit of trouble getting out of bed in the morning because I'm a bit stiff in the ab-region. Even so, I'm more comfortable sleeping and waking up now than I was 9 months pregnant, by a long shot. :LOL It's so nice not to have heartburn when I lie down!
***Somewhat depressing stuff ahead... please skip if you're easily bummed out right now.***
Rivkah is growing, but she's still tiny, and I find myself concerned about her. While I was pregnant I had an ultrasound where they couldn't find one of her kidneys; since her birth she's had two ultrasounds, both of which showed that both of her kidneys are small and the left one is much *much* smaller than the right and somewhat malformed.
At her one week appointment, her doctor wrote an order for some bloodwork (creatnine levels, a test of kidney function) and we scheduled her next appointment for one month (another ultrasound and her regular one month WBC). Well, we had the blood drawn right away and this morning I got a phone call from the doctor's office. When the secretary said where she was calling from, my heart about fell through the floor-- they never call when the news is good, you know? At any rate she said that they want another creatnine drawn this week, because her level was elavated.
I have no idea what to think or do. One of our first nights home, I started crying because I felt like I was subconsciously avoiding bonding with Rivkah on any deep level because I was worried that she wouldn't be long for this world. I felt like I was just going through the motions of attachment, talking to her, holding her, nursing her, but all the while maintaining a sort of emotional distance. It all just really got to me, and I told Mike about it. He said that we don't get to decide how long our children are here, but we do get to decide how good their lives are while they're here. Kind of sad, but it made me feel a lot better, and broke the "block" I had that was keeping me from really bonding with my little girl.
Right now, I'm not even properly worried... I feel somewhat resigned to ride this out to whatever conclusion it comes to. I wonder what will happen, and I really hope that Rivkah is healthy and fine, that it's something simple to correct or that there's some mistake somewhere, but for the most part I feel eerily calm about the entire situation. Perhaps it's denial, perhaps it's me distancing myself from my fears; perhaps I can't get truly worked up without regular access to the internet.
I don't know. What I do know is that I love my daughter, and I am, for now, content to love her for as long or as short a time as we have together.