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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Oieeee.

Tough on all kinds of front.

Of course I was sad to hear those readings, those vows and know it didn't hold true for me and my stbx. But, I managed not to cry.

What was tough was how excluded I felt from the extended family. As someone said to me -- my skin is thin right now, so any "rejection" really hurts.

They didn't think to invite my dds to the wedding. And it turns out there was a pretty big party last night for out of town guests and family ... gee, last time I checked, I was family, but I wasn't invited (my brother and other cousins were). And there is a brunch tomorrow that I didn't know about, but the mother of the bride finally mentioned as I was leaving the reception. I declined; one dd has two birthday parties tomorrow, thank goodness, because at this point I don't want to be the poor, pitiful divorced mom who is invited as an after-thought ...

This on top of my syblings all deciding they don't want to visit us for the holidays -- despite knowing what it would mean to my girls.

Ok, just a vent. Just really finding it hard to bear more sadness right now and see what I thought were avenues of familial connection closed off.

Thanks for listening and bearing with my venting.

M
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by meandmine View Post

As someone said to me -- my skin is thin right now, so any "rejection" really hurts.

{{{hugs mama}}}
That is so true. I am sorry you are feeling isolated & hurt. That is a big one I have dealt with for quite awhile. How awful to be treated as an afterthought for an invitation also. I would have declined as well. Were there any other children in attendance? If there were , that is totally unfair that your dd's were not invited. WTH?

Sorry about the disappointment regarding the upcoming holidays. Now is the time for you to create some traditions for JUST you and your DC.. that will be so special no matter what! And will always be remembered when they are grown. I know it cannot replace family, but it has helped through the years when my son was growing up without his father. We still laugh and talk about some of our Christmases now that he is grown. Maybe you will find some comfort in this.
 

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I'm so sorry - that sounds awful. It's hard when people are rude and excluding, but it's worse when it's your family!

My dad's family mostly lives in LA and Las Vegas. Over the summer, my Aunt X came up to visit her sister, my Aunt Y, and my cousin, his wife, and their 18 month-old daughter. We live 30 minutes away from Aunt Y. We got a call Saturday morning that Aunt X had been in town for a week and would like to come visit that afternoon. So she was in town for a week, didn't call us, and then as an afterthought, wanted us to drop our plans and schlep my younger baby over there.

Then, a month later, we heard from Aunt Y that Aunt Z was coming up to visit. We left the weekend she would be here free, but never heard from her. This was really disappointing because last Christmas when my grandmother (the mother of all these aunts) was mad at our family because I had a baby outside of marriage, Aunt Z let us stay at her house instead of Grandma's, and seemed to take a lot of interest in DD.

I don't mean to hijack your thread; I guess I'm just trying to say that when family disappoints you, it's somehow worse. I should be used to my dad's family excluding us, but it still hurts every time. It's like they have these special arrows that slice right through my armour.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Awe, y'all, I am sorry several of us have experienced this kinda thing. I actually lost a lot of sleep over it, but now am *trying* to just accept and survive, 'cause I gotta survive for my kids, ya know.

And not to hijack my own thread, but the slams kinda keep coming -- now *two* "friends" have gone a gotten jobs they weren't actually looking for and very deliberately didn't tell me the job opportunities existed even though they *knew* I was newly separated and in pretty urgent need of employment (and yes, I was qualified for the jobs).

I have to admit I think it is unbelievable because, quite honestly, I would never do that to a friend I knew was in need. I might apply for the job, but I sure as heck would tell that friend, who needed the job more than me, about it.

And one of these "friends" had the nerve to ask me to pick her dd up from school this week so she could start her new job. Nice.

M
 
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