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My DH is circ. We are in the UK, and it is pretty unheard of here to do, but apparently he had some sort of medical problem when he was little and it had to be done. I was looking at a site I found the link for on here about botched circ. I do think my DH's is pretty bad. He has no loose skin on his penis at all, and has a large ring of scar tissue around it that looks like stitches - pretty ugly really, and some "skin bridging", hair on the shaft (apparently that is due to too much skin being removed) I didn't know what it was till I saw those pictures...He is the only man I've ever been with who was "cut" and honestly it does make a big difference with sex - it is far less comfortable, for both partners I think since I need tons of lube to even tolerate it and we both get very sore after sex, I suppose because there is more friction and no foreskin to protect his bits or mine. I never had this problem with other partners before DH who were intact.<br>
I wondered if this is a normal problem with circ men or if it is because he was "botched". Does anyone else noticed a similar thing with their circ DH?
 

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All very common problems with all circumcised men.<br>
And sadly, your DH's problem probably was something that could have been solved otherwise. It is very rare that actual circumcision is needed - *very* rare.<br><br>
Have your DH ever concidered restoring?
 

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I totally agree, it's horrible when you're used to "the real thing" isn't it. I can't fathom all these American women who not only put up with it, but also cut up their children to make sure they have the same problems!<br><br>
Both of you would probably benefit immensely if he started foreskin restoration, especially as both of you are getting sore. There's a sticky above with loads of information, and loads of information and support for UK victims at <a href="http://www.norm-uk.org/" target="_blank">http://www.norm-uk.org/</a>
 

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OK so let me get this straight. If your partner is circ'd it can hurt when you DTD? What causes that? I'm asking because I have had a problem with that. DP is the first man that I have been with that is circ'd and the firts where sex hurts!! Sometimes are better then others but I always feel guilty because I don't want to DTD often because of that.<br><br>
From what I understood it has to do with not enough lubrification? Is there something else? Because I don't think that that is our problem(with the lubrification, TMI)<br><br>
And another question, since this is the first man that I have seen circ'd. Is there supposed to be some skin left? I thought circ'd meant that they took it all off??<br><br>
Because like you Claire and Boys my DP has no skin left and a scar.<br><br>
Know I don't know what I could do to change this situation, any advice?<br>
And I don't think DP would be willing to do restoration. He says he has no problems being circ'd. Although I never knew that that could be the cause for the pain<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
But that would be a touchy subject with DP<br>
Sorry this is so long this is just knew to me and with having pain DTD for 6 years now I just can't believe it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Memz - I may not know what I'm talking about since I've never been with a circumcised man, but from reading and hearing others' stories here's what I think - lubrication is part of it, but also the fact that the glans of a penis is supposed to be moist and soft like a vagina is, not dry and keritinized like a circumcised penis is (so I've heard and seen in pictures...) would make a HUGE difference. Mucus membrane against mucus membrane is comfortable and nice IME, whereas something dry and rougher doesn't seem like it would be nice at ALL.<br><br>
There's also the gliding action of the foreskin, but I'm not entirely clear on how a circumcised penis works so I don't know how to compare the two in that way...<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry that you mamas are having to deal with this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
love and peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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The best way that I have heard the lube problem described is that the circed penis acts like a squeegee (sp?) and removes all the lubricant during intercourse. Where as the intact penis slides inside of itself more. Make sense?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Interesting, it does look like the circ could be the root of our problems <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Like Memz, I find I don't want to have sex often, it does not feel as nice as I remember with an "intact" man, but I can never tell DH that can I! He has self esteem issues, and in the past was shy about gfs seeing his penis, I think probably down to the scarring....poor guy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> If he thought I found him somehow lacking because of his circ it would probably devastate him. Much as I'd like to go down the restoration route, I am leary because of this.<br>
I don't understand how some women can "prefer" circ to uncirc if it is commonly like this - unless they have never experienced sex as it should be!
 

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I think both your men would be willing to restore if they realised that their circumcised state is causing you pain. Quite apart from that though, if it's causing them a problem, and it sounds like it is at least for Claire and Boys dh, then you could broach it as something beneficial to <i>him</i>, it would at least take away the tightness, and hide the scarring, he would enjoy it far more. It's got to be worth looking into, for his own sake - and you'll also reap the benefits.
 

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I know how you feel Claire and Boys. I don't know how I can talk about to DP without hurting him. And since he has no problems with him being circ'd it's going to be hard. I guess I will have to find a good way to talk about it and still I can see him being hurt<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I feel like crying<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: All this time and the trouble it has caused with our intimacy and me thinking that there was something wrong with me. And now even though I know, it is not an easy solution.<br><br>
And now that I think of it DP had the same trouble with 2 other of his long term girlfriends. Now it all makes sense<br><br>
I wanna cry, I wanna have a normal fulfilling where sex doesn't hurt life <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
If you wanna talk Claire and Boys you can PM me
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>memz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7915569"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: All this time and the trouble it has caused with our intimacy and me thinking that there was something wrong with me.</div>
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I could have written this exact quote when I stumbled upon this forum and realized what the male anatomy and sex for both partners is SUPPOSED to be like. What a lightbulb moment.<br><br>
While my dh doesnt appear to have a "botched" circ, he is still circed. Sadly, I've only been with circed men so dont completley know what I'm missing, but realizing its not my fault that I dont really like sex was sad but also a relief. Not that I blame dh or anything, but I stopped feeling like there is something wrong with ME!!!<br><br>
I havent really brought up restoration with dh, I've just mentioned what sex is like for uncirced couples. He doesnt really believe me, .... "he can have just as good of sex as the next guy" . I felt like I needed to win the circ battle with future sons first, which I am happy to say we've put that behind us. Maybe someday we can get to the restoration subject.<br><br>
Good luck dealing with this subject in your relationship, and finding peace whatever the outcome with your dh may be.
 

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Most women have only experienced circ sex when they are in USA . I have experienced both I actually experienced circ sex first then intact sex afterwards. When I met my intact ex and saw that he had a foreskin which btw didn't even know of such a thing because it wasn't even talked about in my life time and then to see the difference of pointing direction - was so suprisingly strange & odd to me because all my life through when my cousins at the age of still be allowed streaking including my brother who would be streaking outside & ending up with stiffys including my circ'ed sex partner all there penis would be pointing straight up as if it was a middle finger on your hand saying a UA violation but only one intact guy he was a 'rifle pointer' it just shows that circumcision destroys some muscles because if a penis is supposed to have foreskin to cover it . The foreskin is to grow with the penis but if the foreskin isn't there the pubic skin gets to subistute for the foreskin .<br><br>
Alot of people hear of illogical fear of the unknown, breaking the tradition of family , or hurting their husband or boyfriends which seems kinda odd to me after all their husband been through the surgery that some mom's have either seen or belive is horrific and painful but will allow their son to go through that when he's a lil baby ! To Bring on Pain to Prevent Pain do not make much sense.<br><br>
Plus, partners lack the type of orgasms if we did a poll on intact men with women vs women with circ'ed men.<br><br>
Intact men - can have multiple orgasms before coming when sometimes a circ guy can barely even reach an orgasm or come at all.<br><br>
Women with a Intact Guy - is more likely to have multiple orgasms than one with a circ'ed guy because most women are complaining of not having orgasms .
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommytoB</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7916561"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Plus, partners lack the type of orgasms if we did a poll on intact men with women vs women with circ'ed men.<br><br>
Intact men - can have multiple orgasms before coming when sometimes a circ guy can barely even reach an orgasm or come at all.<br><br>
Women with a Intact Guy - is more likely to have multiple orgasms than one with a circ'ed guy because most women are complaining of not having orgasms .</div>
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Well, this holds truth for a lot of men I would assume, but not for all of us "cut guys"...a lot of that comes down to sexual ability that has nothing to do with the "quality" of the "penetration equipment"...know what I mean? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I think it sounds pretty normal for sex with a circ'ed partner.
 

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There's also a big variation in enjoyment from the female perspective between different circ'd partners, so it isn't <i>just</i> the circ...
 

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Discussion Starter #15
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>buckeyedoc</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7916712"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There's also a big variation in enjoyment from the female perspective between different circ'd partners, so it isn't <i>just</i> the circ...</div>
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Yeah, I'd agree that it's not necessarily about the equipment but the skill.......but DH is the only one I've had the pain and need for constant lube issue with. We use baby oil, and he has to reapply several times throughout the session. Never even had to use it with previous partners. It's not a foreplay issue, we can't have sex at all with at least half an hour foreplay, but with previous intact partners, I could get away with none at times.<br>
Like LandonsMom and Memz I also thought it was me, that I was somehow too small for him, or something. No idea why I didn't realise that was not the case since it hadn't been before DH.<br><br>
I'd also like to know the answer to Memz' question above, is all the skjin supposed to be removed or is there meant to be some left just not on the tip of the penis? DH also has none at all there, so I don't know how effective a restoration would be...I'd think there would need to be some skin there to stretch, kwim?
 

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A quick answer to the question "is all of the foreskin removed":<br><br>
Yes, in the past, all of the foreskin was removed. But circumcision is obviously not just about the skin but nerve endings and other things too (frenulaum for example).<br><br>
These days, some doctors are performing "loose circs". They tout them as being a better option, but in reality, it's not.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Claire and Boys</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We use baby oil, and he has to reapply several times throughout the session.</div>
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I would NOT use baby oil! Baby oil is not compatible with mucus membranes as a sexual lubricant! Although I have no doubt that your dh's circ is contributing to the pain, please please please do yourself a favor and get a real lubricant designed for sexual intercourse. It needs to be water-based or silicone-based to be compatible with vaginal intercourse. (And don't buy anything with nonoxynol-9 in it).<br><br>
You are setting yourself up for a nasty vaginal infection by using a petroleum product, and I would not be surprised if the oil is contributing to the irritation you're feeling.<br><br><a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Choose-The-Sexual-Lubricant-Right-For-You&id=164789" target="_blank">http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Cho...-You&id=164789</a><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Petroleum-based lubes: These include Vaseline products, mineral oil products and baby oil. Unfortunately, these products all destroy latex, so they cannot be used with condoms, cervical caps or diaphragms. In addition, they can inflame and irritate the vagina. They also stain clothing. Petroleum-based lubes do tend to last well, so they are often used by men during masturbation.</td>
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Here ia a guide to choosing:<br><br><a href="http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/lubeadvice" target="_blank">http://www.babeland.com/shoppingadvice/lubeadvice</a><br><br>
Here are some mail order places in the UK with good brands such as Liquid Silk:<br><br><a href="http://www.britishcondoms.com" target="_blank">http://www.britishcondoms.com</a><br><br><a href="http://www.condoms.co.uk/acatalog/Fun_Lubes.html" target="_blank">http://www.condoms.co.uk/acatalog/Fun_Lubes.html</a><br><br>
And OT, but just for the record -- I'm finding plenty of British sex supply shops that sell just as many lube brands as are available in the US (and some I haven't seen before!)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>theretohere</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7916703"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think it sounds pretty normal for sex with a circ'ed partner.</div>
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That. Sadly, most American women have sex with men exactly as you describe and wouldn't begin to describe it as 'botched' (they save <i>that</i> word for things like, oh, amputation of the glans & death). They think that's <i>normal</i>. Tight skin with no movement, ring of scar tissue, hairy shaft. Check.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
well, we haven't had sex in a while since I just had a baby, when we were ttc we used Pre-Seed, now that was actually fantastic. I'll look into trying something else when we start again - thanks for the info!
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommytoB</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7916561"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Most women have only experienced circ sex when they are in USA . I have experienced both I actually experienced circ sex first then intact sex afterwards. When I met my intact ex and saw that he had a foreskin which btw didn't even know of such a thing because it wasn't even talked about in my life time and then to see the difference of pointing direction - was so suprisingly strange & odd to me because all my life through when my cousins at the age of still be allowed streaking including my brother who would be streaking outside & ending up with stiffys including my circ'ed sex partner all there penis would be pointing straight up as if it was a middle finger on your hand saying a UA violation but only one intact guy he was a 'rifle pointer' it just shows that circumcision destroys some muscles because if a penis is supposed to have foreskin to cover it . The foreskin is to grow with the penis but if the foreskin isn't there the pubic skin gets to subistute for the foreskin .<br><br>
Alot of people hear of illogical fear of the unknown, breaking the tradition of family , or hurting their husband or boyfriends which seems kinda odd to me after all their husband been through the surgery that some mom's have either seen or belive is horrific and painful but will allow their son to go through that when he's a lil baby ! To Bring on Pain to Prevent Pain do not make much sense.<br><br>
Plus, partners lack the type of orgasms if we did a poll on intact men with women vs women with circ'ed men.<br><br>
Intact men - can have multiple orgasms before coming when sometimes a circ guy can barely even reach an orgasm or come at all.<br><br>
Women with a Intact Guy - is more likely to have multiple orgasms than one with a circ'ed guy because most women are complaining of not having orgasms .</div>
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I can have mutiple orgasms with either, and don't have a preference.<br><br>
I do find the thing about needing lube interesting. The one partner I know for sure wasn't circumsized, I never ever needed lube with. I really don't care a lot if I have to use it, though.
 
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