[Phoebe]

I could post this is both HB and VBAC sections...

MIL just came into town. I'm expecting baby#3 any day/minute now. This will be my 3rd planned hb (first was a transfer/section), second hbac. I am going to be 42 weeks tomorrow. MIL and FIL have never been suppportive of my decision to HB. I have not spoken to either of them for a month or so now because of that. Not to be mean but just to shield myself from their worry mongering and negativity. So of course since I have passed the magical 40 week mark they have been up my butt. (posted a few days ago about FIL's phone message full of stern worry and demanding information, etc). I don't speak with any of DH's family right now because they are all nosey and will pass info among themselves and I just want to be out of sight.
Well, MIL called this a.m. after flying in last night to talk to dh. She then calls back about an hour later catching dh by surprise and tells him that she justs wants me to get on the phone so she can talk to me...and say "hi". She wanted to corner me and get more "information" that she can let slide in one ear and out the other. I have informed this woman about my birth choices for since my first pregnancy 5yrs ago. I never expect to change anyone's mind, but I do expect them to shut up at some point. Dh and I are grown ups who you cannot control or manipulate. STOP TRYING!!
My mother and father don't really appreciate my choices either. However, I tell my mom all the information there is because she apparently understands that if she guilts me, tries manipulation, passes her worries on to me, etc. I will drop her like a dirty sock right now. MIL does not get that she is putting herself in a position of being alienated simply by not letting up.
She actually said to me "I know you think you have a competent midwife but we would worry less if you were seeing a dr.". I don't give a crap what would make YOU worry less. Not my problem

: The info I"ve given in the last 5 yrs about all the falacies that surround our birth culture has apparently missed her and FIL. Also she insists on telling her nosey friends about my birth plans and she complains that they worry her and tell her things like "Oh, she had a csection, she can't go past her due date...danger, danger, danger, etc." Totally non-factual information.
Anyway, I'm pissed that she cornered my husband and took us by surprise with her call and forced me to listen to her own very selfish problems.

Gonna be a long christmas season...
THanks for letting me vent (I've been doing that alot these days! Can't wait to have this baby in my arms and I can tell everyone to piss off!!

)

amy
So very pregnant

 

[dogmom327]

Bubble of peace time! Okay so I know it sounds corny (it's a Hypnobabies term) but think about it...pregnant woman should be protected at all costs from stress and negativity particularly at the end. You partner needs to become your most stringent defender (may require some threatening

). You talk to no one who might even have a single negative thing to say. You read happy birth stories and stay in the bubble. You deserve this!

 

[rmzbm]

You're right, you know it...block them from your thoughts until your baby is in arms. Good luck and hope it goes beautifully!

 

[Phoebe]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dogmom327 Bubble of peace time! Okay so I know it sounds corny (it's a Hypnobabies term) but think about it...pregnant woman should be protected at all costs from stress and negativity particularly at the end. You partner needs to become your most stringent defender (may require some threatening ). You talk to no one who might even have a single negative thing to say. You read happy birth stories and stay in the bubble. You deserve this!

I totally know the bubble of peace!! I have done hypnobabies with my last 2 pregnancies (if for no other reason but to put me to sleep at night and in early labor!) Dh understands and gladly enforces a rule of "no talk to Amy" for those unsupportives. This time MIL just took us both by surprise. She does it on purpose I swear. This is the most manipulative woman I have ever known. She knows how to bamboozle anyone!

 

[ErinsJuneBug]

What a Jerk!!

Honestly though - what is her purpose?! Does she think she's gonna make you change your mind suddenly at 42 weeks? I think i would have hung up on her. Get in your bubble and do not see and talk to them until your little one is here.

Youd think after 3 kids they would leave you alone.

 

[pantufla]

Normally I would say that they are doing it out of care and concern for you and your unborn child. However, given what you say about how manipulative she is, I would say she's doing it so she can say "I told you so!" if something goes wrong.

:

I'm not answering the phone until I give birth.

 

[MegBoz]

Ya know... if she thinks you have such utter, blatent disregard for the health & well-being of your child NOW throughout pregnancy & birth, then she must be darn worried about you raising the child after it's born!!

My point is... people don't seem to think that us 'crunchy' Mamas have our baby's best interest in mind.

Infuriating.

I agree all pg mamas deserve the 'bubble of peace' - same for new mamas too.

But for future reference, I would lay it on the line with her point-blank! Like, "When you're so disrespectful of my feelings & views, it really makes me want to shut you out of my life."

 

[Full Heart]

I would have refused to get on the phone. Actually I have. I do not talk to my ils anymore. When we got caller id I stopped answering calls from them.

I would tell her "look all your phone calls is actually STOPPING my labor because you are stressing me out. Don't call for a few days and I might have a baby!" LOL

 

[RomanCarmelMom]

You can always just hang up the phone and blame it on pregnancy hormones.

Or the phone battery could suddenly die when the subject of your medical care and birth come up.

Or perhaps you could get your DH to stand up to them and tell them that the subject of completely off limits..period. He should tell them that they are alienating you and to knock it off.