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Discussion Starter #1
<p>My lawyer went into court today requesting I be allowed to appear for the Dec 15th hearing telephonically, that we go to mediation before the Dec. 15th hearing, that we go to trial because my ex will probably not settle during the Dec 15th hearing, and that our case be moved here to where the kids live. The judge denied it all and I am have to appear in court on Dec. 15th. Not just that though. He ordered that I have to bring all of my kids down to my ex for a visit during the Dec.15th hearing. Which means I have been them  court ordered to pull  my kids out of school for a week, the last week before xmas break, miss their xmas performance, I will miss all of my finals and I now have to find a way to financially be able to miss work, miss school, and travel to San Diego for an unspecificied amount of time. The judge did not order whether or not my ex would have the kids for all of xmas break. That will get ordered on the 15th. He just ordered that I have to bring the kids with me to see their dad. He specifically stated I am on a campaign to keep the kids from their dad and I must bring the kids to him. The judge doesn't care that I have to pull them out of school for a week, the judge doesn't care my ex has never paid a penny of child support and now I am responsible for transporting them 1200 miles away, the judge doesn't care about my restraining order or the fact that my ex never completed the batterer's program and best of the all the judge doesn't care that my ex has never exercised any visitation for the last four years except for spring break and a week at summer. He hasn't even called them in 2 months. Because this judge specifically stated that I am on a campaign to keep the kids from their dad, I am screwed. Totally screwed. This judge will now be making the final orders for custody. And gee, I think he is a bit biased. I guess I am joining the club of one more abused mother losing to her abuser.</p>
 

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<p>Can your lawyer file any kind of complaint against the judge?  Has she already?  If he's retiring at the end of this month would it be better to not go and show that you had no way of financing the trip and get smacked on the hand by another judge?</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #3
<p>I don't know. She is going to attempt an appeal. I'm in shock. I can't afford the trip, I can't afford to take all the kids out of school, miss my finals and work for an unspecified amount of time. The judge ordered me to bring the kids to my ex but he didn't say for how long but since it is close to winter break I assume he could order through Jan 1st. Which means I'd have to find a way to sit in San Diego from Dec.14-Jan 1st. Which is unfathomable.</p>
 

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<p>ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?</p>
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<p>I think you should put together a document like stephandowen has showing how much TIME HE'S HAD AVAILABLE and TIME HE'S TAKEN. Make it on a calendar, and in bright yellow  show when he was supposed to call or visit, highlight it in blue (the time he's taken will turn green). Then you'll have all these squares/lines of yellow with just a smattering of green for you to show the judge how you're "on a campaign" to keep the kids from their dad. I would do the same with a calendar and the amounts of child support that were due, and when, then highlight the ones he's actually paid. (and while I would love to do it, I don't think you should - I think you should give a bill to the court and ask who will be paying the travel costs and other fees you have to endure for this rediculous charade)</p>
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<p>Then plan to appeal when this idiot retires.</p>
 

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<p>the more i hear about your judge, the more i think he has a ghost in his closet making him biased towards your exes' side.  or that the judge is senile, or mentally ill, or something.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #6
<p>How can it be legal for a judge to order children pulled out of school for a week to be taken to visit their drug felon, abusive father? How? That's 5 days of missed school, how is that in their best interest? And how is it legal for my ex to owe me over $12,000 in child support yet I am being ordered to pay all travel for the kids to see him? Not one penny of child support from him in 4 years and I have to pay travel.</p>
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<p>The calendar is a good idea. He was ordered EOW and he has never done one. We offered him, at the beginning of summer, time to see the kids and he didn't respond for two months until the end of summer and he caused a huge scene. We just offered him a few days at Thanksgiving and he didn't respond. Well he did respond, he pulled us into court ex parte saying I wouldn't let him have Thanksgiving break. Which was a lie. Wow, just wow.</p>
 

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<p>You are going to have to go after this judge, meaning getting help from advocates/retire judges to review your case and give their opinion and file a motion to have the judge removed because of his bias.  Here is a website with some information on how to proceed.  You cannot let this judge get away with this, if that means going to the media, reporting him to the bar (if thats possible) then thats what you need to do.  Call women's advocacy groups in the area, call N.O.W., you have to reach the right person who will listen to your story and they will be shocked and appalled and want to help you.</p>
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<p><a href="http://www.nafcj.net/" target="_blank">http://www.nafcj.net/</a> </p>
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<p><a href="http://www.canow.org/ca_now_family_law/" target="_blank">http://www.canow.org/ca_now_family_law/</a></p>
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<p><a href="http://www.canow.org/ca_now_family_law/famlawresourceguide.pdf" target="_blank">http://www.canow.org/ca_now_family_law/famlawresourceguide.pdf</a></p>
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<p><a href="http://batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/articles_research_case_law.htm" target="_blank">http://batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/articles_research_case_law.htm</a></p>
 

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<p>Yes to all of the above!  So sorry this monkeywrench has been thrown your way, Avani; I really think this "judge" is worse than your ex.  He clearly hates women and is doing everything he can to screw with them before he retires.  Take heart - at least he IS retiring so soon.  Not much help, I'm sure you feel, right now when decisions are being made.  But if an appeal is made by your lawyer, doesn't that push things up?  And YES - no matter what he orders, your lawyer can appeal that.  Nothing is solid.  Whoever is the new judge is sure to be appalled, at least by some of it!  The calendar that highlights what time you HAVE made available vs. what he HASN'T taken is a <span style="text-decoration:underline;">great</span> idea and immediately refutes this "campaign" the moron judge claims you're on. </p>
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<p>I do think at this point the fight is more with this judge than it is with your ex.  Because your ex has broken all the rules - and you can prove that - he is already wrong.  Any decent judge could see that.  So the battle of the judge is what's at stake here.  Just dragging it out a few more weeks until he's gone - and contacting people in the links the PP listed.  Reporting him.  He is dead wrong, he is immoral.  I think this seems doubly hard for you because your lawyer seems to tend to back down a lot.  (Although it was heartening that she saw your side on holiday visitation recently.)  But as much crap as you've gone through, the silver lining is there, this loser is going to be out of court soon. </p>
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<p>One thing I don't get (and I understand if you don't have time now to explain all the details, as you're no doubt busy with all this!) is if the rotten local judge orders you down to where your ex is, can your lawyer appeal to THAT court - claiming financial hardship or whatever - to postpone?  I don't get how the local judge has control <span style="text-decoration:underline;">over all courts and schedules</span>.  If <em>he</em> decides everything - then why do you have to go down there anyway?  Confusing - but anyway - just one day at a time and you will get through this. </p>
 

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<p>Oh my.  I'll second Cycle's suggestions.  I would go to any length possible to fight this judge.  It is totally outrageous of him, and it is unlikely that a peer review would agree with him.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #10
<p>I will fight. I told my lawyer whatever we have to do to appeal to do it. I wonder, is this judge the one who would order on the appeal?? That would seem messed up. My lawyer is too upset to talk with me tonight so I haven't been able to discuss much with her. I know that she feels in her 20 years as a lawyer that she has never been so shocked by a judge's decision. This judge ordered I give the kids to my ex on Dec 15 without stating when I would get them back. How can I plan? What about my job? Is this judge considering not letting me have the kids back? IS he going to do what the judge did in Jeannine's much talked about case and take away custody from me and give them to my abusive ex?? He didn't give a return date. How is that legal? I have a job and other kids also. ANd it is Christmas time. And my home is 1200 miles away. How can i plan anything, like a housesitter, when I can go back to work etc. etc. This is insanity.</p>
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<p> This all started when I filed for a restraining order in August 2008 and wasn't able to serve my ex for over four months because the sheriff's couldn't find my ex. The judge(here where I live, different judge) finally told me I had to pull the order until we could find him. Fast forward to March 2009 when my ex suddenly decides he wants unsupervised visits and he files in court with crazy judge. My lawyer and I were happy that he filed because now we would have to court date to give him the restraining order. I refiled the restraining order and we had my ex served at the custody hearing. Crazy judge decides I only filed the restraining order as a ploy to keep my ex from the kids. He would not listen to the fact that I had filed the restraining order months earlier and we couldn't find ex to serve him. Crazy judge didn't care about ex's criminal past and all of my police reports and that I lived in a DV shelter for months with the kids and ex did not visit for 2 full years. Crazy judge from that very moment decided I was lying about the abuse. He even stated if I did win the restraining order he wouldn't give my ex custody. I won the restraining order!! and he still gave my ex custody.</p>
 

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<p>I just googled "how to appeal a corrupt judge" and there was too much stuff to sort through, but one person on one page, in response to someone saying they had a corrupt judge, advised this, which is a lot like what Cycle suggested above:</p>
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<p>"My suggestion to you, research retired judges who will look at your case for you (not just a few sparse facts, you have to supply EVERYTHING, including court transcripts if available) and pay them to review what's gone on and give you an unbiased, uninvolved opinion on what went on.<br><br>
DO NOT go into a diatriabe about how wronged you feel you were - <span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>just ask it to be reviewed for legal error because you are concerned about the ethics of the judge</strong></span> - that's it.<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>If the retired judge finds a problem, then have him cite it for you in writing so that you can take the steps necessary to try to get the judge recused from your case."</strong></span></p>
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<p>Now I don't know how that works or anything, but it's certainly something to suggest to your lawyer.  It seems rather simple enough, if she knows how to find a retired lawyer in your area.  Because nope, wouldn't give the kids to anyone with no return date ordered.  His decisions are legally wrong.  He makes you deal with this guy when you have a restraining order against him, all of it is glaringly wrong.  I would do what the advice says above - state the things you want reviewed for legal error (like how the judge doesn't enforce anything your ex was ordered to do!).  You hang in there because you've got a good case.<br><br>
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Discussion Starter #12
<p>Actually I do have a judge in mind. My chiropractor just told me she has client who is an 80 year old judge and she told him about my case and he is appalled by it. I will see if he would be willing to help. My lawyer told me she is talking to her friend who is a very good appelate lawyer to see about appealing. How could we not appeal. Seriously? The judge could have let me appear telephonically due to financial hardship and refused. The judge could have let us do mediation before the hearing and he refused. Then he orders I give my ex the kids with no return date?? And I have to pay all travel. I can not wrap my head around this. At all.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Avani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1281201/just-had-court#post_16067475"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Actually I do have a judge in mind. My chiropractor just told me she has client who is an 80 year old judge and she told him about my case and he is appalled by it. I will see if he would be willing to help. My lawyer told me she is talking to her friend who is a very good appelate lawyer to see about appealing. How could we not appeal. Seriously? The judge could have let me appear telephonically due to financial hardship and refused. The judge could have let us do mediation before the hearing and he refused. Then he orders I give my ex the kids with no return date?? And I have to pay all travel. I can not wrap my head around this. At all.</p>
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<br><br><p>Yeah, no way would I go, I would do the best I could to protect myself and my kids from any fallout in case this judge loses his mind because you don't show up.  Call DV shelters, get a plan in order in case you have to hide until this judge is off the case.  Seriously, I know it sounds extreme but no way would I go forward with this guy.  File complaints, tell your story everywhere, get people to stand with you.  I think some of the DV support places and shelters might be a resource as well. </p>
 

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<p>Yeah, I'm not one to recommend violating a court order, but in this case, I would.</p>
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<p>You're atty NEEDS to appeal, she MUST.  If you can appeal, you may not have to show up on Dec. 15 - b/c everything would be pending the appeal.  No, it would NOT be the same judge, it would be a judge in a higher court - the standard is "Abuse of Discretion" which you definitely have a case for.  There are no promises of course about what a judge would order, but it would delay the case, and it would likely be remanded (sent back to the lower court) for a new trial or set of hearings, with a specific set of instructions from the higher court.  It would delay the hearings until the judge has retired (although, I'm not really sure how that works - some judges stop taking on NEW case, but keep the cases they currently have to see them to completion, however I can't imagine a higher court remanding your case to the same judge - you would almost certainly have a new judge), or at least hopefully get your case assigned to a new judge in your area.</p>
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<p>Even if YOU go Dec 15 - VIOLATE the part about taking your kids.  This is NOT ok for there to be no return date.  DO NOT take theme!!!!!!  (ok, you know that, I didn't mean to shout - just I, the most certain to obey every.single.court.order to the letter thinks you should violate that part of it!)</p>
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<p>Good luck.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #15
<p>I'm curious too...how come my ex can not show for every single EOW visit he was ordered because according to him he can't afford to come but yet the court orders me to take the kids to him and if I don't I will be in contempt? How is that legal? He voluntarily doesn't come for his court ordered visits but ?? Ok you get it. This makes no sense. We are going to appeal. I am waiting to hear from my attorney about how we will proceed. I may hire my attorney's friend, the appelate lawyer so that I have someone well versed in what they are doing. It's on. I just may be one of those mom's thrown in jail for protecting her kids. (by not appearing for court, I wouldn't do anything too drastic ;)  When I was web searching last night I found this current Utah case where a judge in Canada allowed a mom to move from Canada to Utah with her children following abuse from her ex. The mom moved there with the kids and they were doing great. Something like a year later a judge in Canada orders the mom to pull the kids out of school and  take the kids back to Canada to see the dad, with no return date. Once there, the judge forced the mom to share custody with the dad in Canada. Because the mom is American she can not get a job. She is living in homeless shelters and all three of her kids are physically and emotionally very unwell but being forced to go back and forth between mom and dad. As of current date she has been stuck back in Canada for 60 days with no end in sight because they have to wait out the appeal process. So since my judge gave no return date, is he going to suddenly force me to move back where my ex is and share custody? Or order me to pay all travel? I've lived here for four years with the kids and even both mediators said my ex should pay all travel because I freaking ran for my life. No kidding, my ex has mexican mafia ties.Like he works for them. I even tried to get the DEA to help protect me. Honestly if I was ordered to share custody and pay all travel I would have to move back. I could never afford all those travel costs on top of raising all the kids alone. I don't get any child support. I can't afford$1000 a month minimum to transport four kids back and forth 1200 miles. Four years we have been here! Geez. Ok, I'll keep you all updated.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Avani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1281201/just-had-court#post_16068244"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I'm curious too...how come my ex can not show for every single EOW visit he was ordered because according to him he can't afford to come but yet the court orders me to take the kids to him and if I don't I will be in contempt? How is that legal? He voluntarily doesn't come for his court ordered visits but ?? Ok you get it. This makes no sense. We are going to appeal. I am waiting to hear from my attorney about how we will proceed. I may hire my attorney's friend, the appelate lawyer so that I have someone well versed in what they are doing. It's on. I just may be one of those mom's thrown in jail for protecting her kids. (by not appearing for court, I wouldn't do anything too drastic ;)  When I was web searching last night I found this current Utah case where a judge in Canada allowed a mom to move from Canada to Utah with her children following abuse from her ex. The mom moved there with the kids and they were doing great. Something like a year later a judge in Canada orders the mom to pull the kids out of school and  take the kids back to Canada to see the dad, with no return date. Once there, the judge forced the mom to share custody with the dad in Canada. Because the mom is American she can not get a job. She is living in homeless shelters and all three of her kids are physically and emotionally very unwell but being forced to go back and forth between mom and dad. As of current date she has been stuck back in Canada for 60 days with no end in sight because they have to wait out the appeal process. So since my judge gave no return date, is he going to suddenly force me to move back where my ex is and share custody? Or order me to pay all travel? I've lived here for four years with the kids and even both mediators said my ex should pay all travel because I freaking ran for my life. No kidding, my ex has mexican mafia ties.Like he works for them. I even tried to get the DEA to help protect me. Honestly if I was ordered to share custody and pay all travel I would have to move back. I could never afford all those travel costs on top of raising all the kids alone. I don't get any child support. I can't afford$1000 a month minimum to transport four kids back and forth 1200 miles. Four years we have been here! Geez. Ok, I'll keep you all updated.</p>
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Hire the appelate lawyer.  DO IT.  If you can file in time, it may put the whole thing on hold completely - meaning, you and kids STAY PUT until the appeals process goes through - he hasn't changed custody (yet) so you still have sole custody.  Oh man, I so hope things work out for you!!!!!!!!!!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #17
<p>I just emailed my lawyer that I would hire whoever this appelate lawyer is. She said they are the best she knows. I'm waiting on word. I'm sure my lawyer is in court all day so hopefully I will hear from her soon. I know you have ten days to appeal whatever a judge orders. I know nothing about the appeals process so I'm praying it does put it on hold. Especially until that judge leaves. Especially with San Diego's busy court schedule and the black out dates with the holidays...I hope it puts it all on hold.</p>
 

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<p>I'm furious for you as well.  I hope you get some justice from this soon.  This is horrible.  I'm worried that if you don't show up, he'll rule everything in your ex's favor.  If you do show up with the kids, it seems like he's got plans to hurt you there by maybe giving your ex custody.   He seems not to care when your ex doesn't show up, but he's got it out for you.  I hope you hire the appelate lawyer and get things moving quickly.  You're backed into a corner.  He's asked you to do something that you are just not capable of doing.  I wonder how many women this judge has abused with his power.  Makes me sick.</p>
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<p>I"m so glad to see so much advice given on this thread.  I wouldn't have a clue where to start. </p>
 

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<p>HO.LY MO.LY</p>
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<p>Is there a "sitting on pins and needles" smilie?  SHEESH</p>
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<p>No advice.  Looks like the much more knowledgable mamas have that covered.  Just wanted you to know another MDC mama was in your corner. </p>
 

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Discussion Starter #20
<p>Wouldn't a judge have to have very clear and concrete proof in order to switch custody from sole to me to anything else? The judge claims I am clearly attemping to thwart visitation to the dad. However since 5/2007 the dad was ordered visitation and he never took any. Then when custody was switched in 11/08 ex has taken about 3 visits. He has EOW and does not take them. Not due to me at all. And when he wanted summer break time my lawyer sent him a letter in May offering him time. He didn't respond for two full months. Then when it was 12 hours before the time we had offered he called my lawyer freaking out that he wanted time now and we were stopping him from seeing his kids??!! We gave him the time even though he was highly unreasonable at that point. And we haven't heard from him until 11/16 when he requested all of Thanksgiving Break. 10 full days. We replied he could have Thanksgiving afternoon until Sunday evening due to his not contacting the kdis in months and not maintaining any consistent visitation with them. He never responded. Until yesterday he went before crazy judge and stated we wouldn't allow him Thanksgiving break. He went before the judge stating just that with no facts being allowed because the judge dismissed his case due to it being a non emergency. But then my lawyer did our appeal for the telephonic appearance and mediation before the settlement conference and the judge denied it based on me thrwating visitation. I think he took my ex's blatant lies and turned them around onto me. We offered him four days and he said we offered none. But this wasn't being heard so we couldn't say anything. But since my lawyer followed my ex I think this is what happened. Now the judge wants me to hand the kids over to my ex.</p>
 
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