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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>My labour & delivery with DD1 were not what I would have wanted, on my own in hospital labouring ( I was told I wasnt) on my own all night & then rushed to deliver my baby, I had an episiotomy with no pain relief and DD1 literally shot out as they did it, she had her arm raised and was 8lb 2oz. I had just over an hour of stitching afterwards & the whole experience was a nightmare, I don't know in medical terms how bad I tore, they told me but I was semi-conscious at the time and don't remember. I then had DD2 15 mo later, 9lb 4 oz and some stitching but nothing unusual for a big baby.</p>
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<p>Fast Forward 3 years from DD2's birth, I go to get a coil (IUD) fitted & they can't do it, I get referred to another hospital clinic, they can't do it either, it turns out I have so much damage inside they can't fit a coil. My cervix is torn & I have scar tissue everywhere from my stitches. I knew that damage had been done but no one took me seriously, I remember asking the BF counsellors after DD1 if they could teach me to BF standing up cos I couldnt sit down, no one took me seriously, I was called silly & ridiculous for asking such a thing. Finally today I feel validated in some way for how I felt whilst recovering, but it has surprised me how many emotions it stirred up that I thought I had dealt with, but I obviously havent.</p>
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<p>This is a rant really, but I would love to hear how other mums have moved forward through situations like these.. also.. and way too much TMI here but I would like to know.. when I need to go have a poo & I have a tampon for my period it hurts like heck, I mean really hurts, does anyone else get this? Should I mention it at my next hospital appt (I've been referred to look at getting the damage repaired).</p>
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<p>Thank you for listening, I guess I just had to let it out really...</p>
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<p>Linda</p>
 

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<p>Sorry mama.  I have not been there, but wanted to give you hugs.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"> If you have a concern, I would definitely ask about it. (IMO, "should I ask my doctor about" is pretty much always "yes," maybe they won't have a satisfactory answer, but it doesn't hurt to ask.) And I'm angry on your behalf that no one took your BFing request seriously. There are ways to nurse standing up (in a sling!) but there's a learning curve and help would have been good. It took me a little while to get the hang of side-lying nursing, but that might have been an option as well. So no, the request was not ridiculous at all.</span> <span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<p>I just wanted to thank the mamas that replied - thank you, your kind words mean alot to me :)</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>I just wanted to send you my love and support as I have not been there. I recommend posting in the</span> Healing Birth Trauma subforum.</p>
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<p>If you want to mention it at your next appointment I definitely encourage you to do so! A lot of people are not taken seriously, as if we cannot "know" anything ever, that we're all too stupid to have any idea and just over exaggerate everything. <span><img alt="eyesroll.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/eyesroll.gif"> Unfortunately, this means that we have to advocate for ourselves and it's not always easy. If they don't take you seriously, keep telling them. DEMAND that they listen to you and take you seriously. Ask for their supervisors if they don't. If the supervisor doesn't, ask for <em>their</em> supervisor, and so on. Telling them you may have to talk to their lawyer if they are persistent in refusing to listen to you/honour your requests also helps as well.</span> <span><img alt="winky.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/winky.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>You should have been listened to, every single time. When you told people when you had damage, when you told the breastfeeding "counselor" that you couldn't sit down, they should have listened to. It's absolutely unexcusable that they didn't listen. So this time, MAKE them listen. They will listen if you are persistent. Sometimes it just takes a LOT of persisting, unfortunately.</span></p>
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<p><span>Best of luck, mama!</span> <span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></span></p>
 

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I'm subbing to this. I've had a similar problem during my cycles, when I have to have a bm it is unbelievable how much it hurts but unlike you I'm not using tampons.....it happens even with pads.<br><br>
I've had 5 babies and only torn externally.<br><br>
Sorry I have no help for you <img alt="greensad.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif">
 
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