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<p>First, I am new to this board.  I am sorry this will be a long post haha.  </p>
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<p>I didn't want to join anything because I knew it would make it all too real.  But, my sister in law started talking to me, and I realized that I needed to vent a little with people that have been there and that I can talk to without feeling bad.  We are dealing with secondary infertility and recurrent loss, and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't post because I have a beautiful living daughter and just because I haven't been able to keep a pregnancy since means I shouldn't complain.</p>
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<p>We have a daughter that will be four in July.  When she was 9 months old, we lost a baby without knowing we were pregnant.  Right after, we started actively TTC.  All told, we have had 4 early losses (shortest was a little under 4 weeks which happened this Monday, longest was 6 weeks) and then a second trimester loss at 13 weeks 5 days.</p>
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<p>With my second trimester loss, I had a subchorionic hematoma, basically a blood clot where the baby implanted that bleeds out.  99% of pregnancies carry to term without issue, I just happened to be the 1% that went into labor because the placenta just couldn't hold on any longer.</p>
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<p>With that pregnancy, I found out I have a progesterone deficiency, which they think is the reason for my previous losses before that.  This last loss on Monday, I don't know what it was, but most would say it was a chemical pregnancy since I lost it so early.  I don't think there are chemical pregnancies, just pregnancies that don't develop and they are lost.  There is always a baby to me.</p>
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<p>I don't like doctors, and I like to treat things with herbs and vitamins and homeopathy rather than medications.  I don't like being treated as just a disease rather than an entire person that needs to be regulated.</p>
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<p>I guess I am just looking for a place to fit in.  I don't like people telling me I need to get levels checks every time I get pregnant or to get an ultrasound.  I have started weekly acupuncture appointments, and I am in love with how I am treated.  Like an entire person, not just a paycheck.</p>
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<p>For me, being treated completely instead of as a failing body is something I have needed.</p>
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<p>I am excited to be here (if that is the right word for it, I am just so glad to finally be in a community that has gone through similar things) and I hope to get to know all of you <3</p>
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<p>-Kayce</p>
<p><a href="http://longing4more.blogspot.com" target="_blank">http://longing4more.blogspot.com</a></p>
 

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<p>sorry for your loss <span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif">I hope you find the support you need here</span></p>
 

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<p>Sorry for your loss <span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif" style="width:38px;height:16px;"></span></p>
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<p><span>I just had my second loss this past weekend. I know it's hard and Im like you - don't like doctors and treat most things naturally. I go to an ND etc. However I've been seeing an RE and while she is certainly mainstream - she respects my desire to do things as naturally as possible. She will be doing all kinds of testing on me now and I feel like she really wants to help me.</span></p>
<p><span>Anyway whatever path you choose - I hope you get your rainbow baby.</span></p>
 

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<p>Kayce-</p>
<p>We are VERY similar:) I'm soooo sorry for your loss. I too have a healthy 3 year old daughter and, at times, feel like I should just be happy with my blessing, but I have had 6 losses - all different, as early as 5 weeks as late as 10 weeks. It's such a tease and just isn't fair. All tests are normal, so I'm in the "recurrent pregnancy loss - unknown causes" catergory. It's just odd how we can have 1 child without any intervention and have all these loses. Most people don't understand and often say hurtful things when they "think" they are helping...I'm sure you can relate.</p>
<p>I have been going to acupunture as well and I LOVE it, I love that my acupuncturist says that there is something out of balance and that I just don't have "bad luck". Also, I did find an excellent OB who is understanding, compasionate, supportive and patient with me. I have been to an RE and they just said that they aren't smart enough to figure out ALL the causes of recurrent pregnancy loss. It took me a long time to actually go and have some testing done, but even after all that, I'm still in the same place.</p>
<p>I'm new to this website and have already found great support, hope and peace in knowing that it can happen for me, there are so many success stories on here:) I hope we can be one of those stories soon!</p>
 

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<p>Hi Kayce and others,</p>
<p>Thank you for voicing that thing about already having a child- I have a toddler and had 2 MCs after her, one very early and one at 10 weeks. It is strange that I too, at times, feel like I should not even feel sad because I have my DD, I am already a mommy, so "much better off that those who have not been blessed with a LO yet"... And yet, the pain of losing a baby is just as real, it is just that my daughter did give me comfort going through the losses. I hope that your child can also help you heal but that you find space here to talk about your pain; or whatever you are feeling, whenever.</p>
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<p>Sending hugs.<img alt="hug.gif" id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_131349117529114" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></p>
 

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<p>I'm so sorry for your losses. I agree with you about the "chemical pregnancy" being a baby.</p>
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<p>You should fit in just fine. There are women here who have had one loss (like me) and those with many; some with LC, some with one, some with none. Lots of women here use accupuncture and herbs too.</p>
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<p>I hope your stay here is short and you have a baby in your arms next year!</p>
 

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<p>I am so sorry for your losses. Five is more than any woman should have to bear. I also agree that a "chemical pregnancy" is a baby. I hope you can find some comfort here.</p>
 

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<p>I just had my 7th miscarriage...at 6 weeks. It was early, so I did not need a DandC......after having this one, I'm starting to lose hope that it will happen for us. RE strongly suggests IVF with PGD, but we don't any fertility treatment coverage. I've tried everything else (progesterone, acupuncture, herbs...) and with all my tests being normal, they just think DH and I produce a large number of abnormal embryos, but the cause it unknown........</p>
 

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<p>slshoe128: I'm <em>so</em> sorry. I hope some way can be found for the IVF to work out. <span id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_131358537231930"><img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_3_0_8_131358537231929" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif" style="width:38px;height:16px;"></span></p>
 

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<p>I am sorry for your losses.  I also have had 2 very early losses ( one at 6 weeks, one at 5 weeks), and a 2nd trimester loss (at 19 weeks). Trusting my body is incredibly difficult right now, even though I have 4 beautiful living children. Lots of hugs, and I hope that everything works out for you next time.</p>
 
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