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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello Mommies,

Another exhausted Momma on here looking for a boost.

My 10.5 month old baby girl has never been a good sleeper. (We co-sleep and breatfeed). But she used to at least give me a GOOD week from time to time. Meaning she would sleep 4-6 hour stretches at some point in the night for a whole week or longer. These weeks would recharge me and I'd feel mentally, physically, and emotionally equipped for all the demands of being the Mom of my spirited, sweet angel until the next "magical" week came along.
Since she turned 8 months the good nights have gotten further and further apart. More sporadic. And right now, I can't remember when the last 5-6 hour stretch was. Last night was horrible. She tossed and turned all night an must've awoken me about 10 times!
When the sleep started getting worse around 8 months I thought it might be the sleep regression I hear about around that age. She's been seeming like she's on the verge of walking for months now. Could pull herself up to standing since she was 5 months old. A strong, fast, crawler by 6 months. Then the climbing started happening. Anyway, my point is, I have always chalked it up to "oh she's excited about this or that new skill", "she's just a really active baby", etc...
But I'm starting to feel like perhaps it hasn't been phase after phase and perhaps I should've done things differently. Maybe there's some truth to some of this sleep training after all. I would NEVER do CIO but maybe I should've tried getting her used to the crib instead of following my instincts and meeting her needs.
It doesn't help that I recently came across a thread of Mom's complaining about this with 2 and 3 year olds, saying they haven't had a good night's sleep in years!! This is not what I expected. My Everything Baby learning curve has been so steep. I knew nothing about baby sleep. Being one of the only few new Mom's I know who is still not sleeping much is really starting to get old as well.
I know that if she sleeps good tonight this entire post will feel like an overreaction tomorrow. But when you're in the thick of these sleepless nights, things start to feel hopeless.
Thanks for reading to anyone who took the time. :)
 

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my baby is 21 months in few days. We cosleep, breastfeed. we added next to us a bed so i can lay her down there or I go there or daddy goes there during the night. We made sure there was enough space for everyone to move ond feel relaxed while sleeping. We gave up to a fancy bed room in favor of a cozy nest. We love it. My LO had,as you perfectly say,moments. one day she would sleep 3 hours in a row,another one wake up every hour etc..I personally love to unswer to her needs and I always think that if I would be her I would love my mom to help me. I heard all kind of comments from our relatives about how we should do and honestly i think that there no better person than mama to know which are baby's needs. So don't doubt, I know you are exhausted but I honestly think you are doing great!!!
Lot of love to you mama.
 

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As she has had periods of good sleep before I would still be thinking phase. Especially as she is so active but hasn't started walking yet. Some babies are really frustrated by their immobility.

When my oldest DD went through her hourly feeding phase and then her wake at 2am for a 2hr play phase we went into "emergency mode". For us that meant simple meals - frozen, eggs/beans on toast etc - basic housework only, no big projects or activities and no expectations of anything beyond the most basic of family self-care. We caught up on sleep whenever we could. For us that meant I did night times( DH had to work and I had the magic milks) he did early mornings (his best time). We both had daytime sleeps on his days off. And sometimes one or both of us stayed in bed when DD1 went to sleep at 7pm.

We now have a 5yo and a 2.5yo. They have both been breastfed on demand and co-sleep. They've had very different sleep habits from each other despite the same parenting and they both love bedtime now. They also both need to be parented to sleep still but that is normal. We can get up once they're asleep and DD1 sleeps through the night.

Responsive nighttime parenting doesn't always (usually) produce fast results but the benefits far outweight the short term discomforts IMO.

You are doing good work Mumma. Be kind to yourself .


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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You'll get through it!

While it seems crazy now, what you are going through is normal and it WILL get better. I promise! Some moms have it easier than others in the sleep department and it can make the rest of us feel crazy. Do you have a family member or close friend (mom of older kids would be great) that could stay the night and care for your LO once every couple weeks so you and your husband can get a full night's rest to recharge? My MIL did this for us and it was a LIFESAVER. Also, as one of the previous commenters said, right now you are in SURVIVAL mode. Make life as easy as possible--freezer meals, minimal housework, grab naps while you can during the day, if you have the money hire someone to come in and clean or ask a favor from a friend--now is the time to ask for help! You're doing a great jobs and you know what is best for your baby. Plus babies were made resilient--don't let anyone make you think you are "screwing this up" or should have done something differently before now to change things! **hugs**
 

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Some of us can learn to live without much sleep. My three children all breastfed freqently at night until they were 3. By the time my youngest was sleeping through the night I was old enough that I had to get up at night to pee once or twice a night. My son's family lived with me and for years and I got up with grandbabies at night.

I'm almost 60 and haven't slept through the night since I was 22.

When my oldest son was around 12 months I gave up on the idea of sleeping through the night. Letting go was key for me. I am actually one of the lucky ones. Research now shows that a percentage of the population actually needs less sleep without health problems. It is fortunate my high need babies were born to me and I was able to help with my grandbabies.

Now I live in an apartment complex for disabled people and elderly. The lady that lives above me is dying of cancer and walks around bashing into walls with her walker all night. Other neighbors are loud walking the halls, it is like living in a hospital. My little dog likes to go out to potty at midnight and wakes me up bright and early to walk at 6 am before the Arizona sun heats everything to 100 degrees.

Is it really so important for babies to breastfeed so much at night? It is difficult when you are living through it but I am glad I did it for my children and for myself. I look back on my mothering my babies time as something accomplished as important as graduate school. You are doing something vital that isn't valued by our society.
 
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This may not be the reason but just a thought which could come up when she's older, could she be hungry? Is she nursing enough during the day since she's become more mobile? Does she eat solids yet? If she does, maybe give her an avocado before bed or add more nursing sessions during the day. She may be trying to make up the extra calories during the night if she's not getting enough during the day.
 

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Foreverinbluejeans! I remember you from when my teen was little; nice to see you back. :D

VA77, do you have any nearby parks where she can run wild and get really worn out a few hours before bedtime? That was the only way my oldest would sleep for any length of time-fenced playgrounds were my salvation! Or, do you have any neighborhood kids willing to be a mother's helper? Younger kids are great at this-my 7yo loves to play with toddlers so I send her to run around in the yard with several littles for that reason. ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 · (Edited)
Thanks so much everyone for your responses. Great suggestions, advice and much needed words of encouragement. I haven't been feeling so beat down lately and as Foreverinbluejeans reminded me: I'm doing something vital that isn't valued by our society.

I'm sure i"ll be on here again when I'm feeling exhausted once again... and hearing from everyone really does help.

Much love to all <3
 

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I am a mother of two babies and I personally think that your kid is in the growth age and may be the reason of her sleeplessness is that she is not getting enough from you she needs more, you have to start the soft food in her diet or may be their is a problem with her diaper so these are the points that you should consider. Still if you have any other point you can discuss with other moms on my mummysocial community too.
 
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