[KentuckyDoulaMama]

I just need to vent. It'll just take a sec.....

MY KIDS ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so ungrateful.

I'll admit. I was a dumb, young mom to 7 (his, mine and ours) and overwhelmed with no support system and no good parenting to model after. I made lots of mistakes. I never "trained" my kids well enough to help out, to do their share.

My kids are slobs. The teens still dont even clear their plates from the table after lunch. They dont pick up after themselves at all. My 9yo is like a tornado going from room to room to room, just leaving a quake of disaster wherever she goes. My 11yo is not much better.
They are lazy. They are mouthy & disrespectful. They are (mostly) ungrateful and want more and more and more (a certain materialistic 14yo dd who has very wealthy friends comes to mind here).

They make me feel guilty by the things they say about the way I've raised them.

This place is a disaster zone and no one wants to help. It will take me a week to clean out this place by myself and I'm so overwhelmed I'm sitting here locked in my room crying.
All I get is crap from these kids 90% of the time.

My kids are all honor roll, BETA club, excelerated class, good citizenship, teacher pets, blah blah blah kids. They are GREAT to everyone else, but at home....they are so lazy and disrepectful. Spoiled I guess.

I feel like seriously going on strike. But you know what, it wouldnt matter, they'd just live in the messes they create.
I've been bedbound for 2 days now due to the pain of endometriosis and this place is just a mess. They've seen me in so much pain I cant barely move in bed at times but yet when I politely ask for help in getting this house in order, or with getting the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up, all I get is yelling and complaining and stomping up the stairs.
Yet, they want this & that for back to school and I have to take them here and there and everywhere.
They are so bored, all they can think to do is aggravate each other & be mean and hateful to each other. If I hear one more time one of them yelling to another to "shut up!" or "I hate you!" I'm going to have to leave the house.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH

I am so disgusted with myself for the way I've allowed them to grow up sometimes. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, but right now I want to just run far, far away............................................

Okay, vent over (I think) I may go take a nap.

 

[annethcz]

I understand, it's hard work to teach kids to help around the house. I find that if I let things slide, my kids will take advantage of the situation and take the easy way out (ie, let mom clean up everything).

It's not too late to teach your kids to help around the house. But it does require consistency. I struggle with consistency myself- sometimes it really is easier for me to clean up after my kids than it is to convince the child to do it himself. And when you have more than a couple of kids, it's easy for one child to slip by while you're working with another child.

Anyway, (((HUGS))) from someone who feels the same way sometimes.

 

[UnschoolnMa]

Im sorry. That sounds really frustrating. It's not too late though. Try to talk to them and get things moving in a new direction?

 

[Richelle Shackford]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KentuckyDoulaMama I just need to vent. It'll just take a sec..... MY KIDS ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And so ungrateful. I'll admit. I was a dumb, young mom to 7 (his, mine and ours) and overwhelmed with no support system and no good parenting to model after. I made lots of mistakes. I never "trained" my kids well enough to help out, to do their share. My kids are slobs. The teens still dont even clear their plates from the table after lunch. They dont pick up after themselves at all. My 9yo is like a tornado going from room to room to room, just leaving a quake of disaster wherever she goes. My 11yo is not much better. They are lazy. They are mouthy & disrespectful. They are (mostly) ungrateful and want more and more and more (a certain materialistic 14yo dd who has very wealthy friends comes to mind here). They make me feel guilty by the things they say about the way I've raised them. This place is a disaster zone and no one wants to help. It will take me a week to clean out this place by myself and I'm so overwhelmed I'm sitting here locked in my room crying. All I get is crap from these kids 90% of the time. My kids are all honor roll, BETA club, excelerated class, good citizenship, teacher pets, blah blah blah kids. They are GREAT to everyone else, but at home....they are so lazy and disrepectful. Spoiled I guess. I feel like seriously going on strike. But you know what, it wouldnt matter, they'd just live in the messes they create. I've been bedbound for 2 days now due to the pain of endometriosis and this place is just a mess. They've seen me in so much pain I cant barely move in bed at times but yet when I politely ask for help in getting this house in order, or with getting the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned up, all I get is yelling and complaining and stomping up the stairs. Yet, they want this & that for back to school and I have to take them here and there and everywhere. They are so bored, all they can think to do is aggravate each other & be mean and hateful to each other. If I hear one more time one of them yelling to another to "shut up!" or "I hate you!" I'm going to have to leave the house. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH I am so disgusted with myself for the way I've allowed them to grow up sometimes. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, but right now I want to just run far, far away............................................ Okay, vent over (I think) I may go take a nap.

I know exactley how you feel. My kids are the same way. I was actually relieved to read what you wrote.
My kids are so disrespectful. Mostly my son. But they fight ALL THE TIME...I don't know how to deal with it. I am tired of listening to myself complain. All I feel like I do is complain about how messy the house is. Their stuff is always left here or there...everywhere.
Like yours, they are good everywhere else. They really are good kids. That at least tells me that they do know how to behave and how to show respect. But why do I get treated like crap?? The only one that will ever love them this much. I just don't get it.

 

[Richelle Shackford]

I know exactly how you feel. My kids are the same way. I was actually relieved to read what you wrote.
My kids are so disrespectful. Mostly my son, maybe its the middle child syndrome? I have three kids. But they fight ALL THE TIME... I don't know how to deal with it. I am tired of listening to myself complain. All I feel like I do is complain about how they leave all their stuff everywhere.
Like yours , they are good kids!!Everywhere else. At least that tells me they have learned something, they know how to show respect, but it's always to other people. Not each other or me. I am the only one that will ever love them this much. I am the one that runs them from here to there, buys them things and is there for everything they need. Why do they treat me like crap?

 

[nancyw]

Im so sorry you are having such a terrible time. I agree with PP's. It REALLY is Never too late. especially if you pick two or three things at a time (or even one) to try and change; stay consistent; stay patient with yourself. sounds like you have 'more than the average bear' to try to deal with and to keep a sane household.
take a deep breath. its not all going to change at once.

maybe a 'family meeting' sort of thing, to talk things through, decide on (or tell them) what 2 things need to start happening to change the situation? (just a thought.)

good luck, mama. and again, try to be patient with yourself even when they arent, and trust in your new decisions.

 

[Tummy]

 

[Hanbonem]

I grew up with three older sisters and we always had Saturday jobs. It was complete torture for us but the house certainly got clean. Not quite sure how they enforced it but Dad and sternness had something to do with it.

My son is still so young so I have yet to experience the adaptability (or lack thereof) of teens, but couldn't you just announce the beginning of chores? Our Saturday mornings were owed to the house and then the rest of the weekend was ours. They were divided into bathrooms, all vacuuming, dining room/living room, and kitchen and we rotated each week. We weren't slaves to the house but we had to wash all the surfaces and generally pick up.

And beleive me, we wouldn't have done them if we weren't forced to but I think all in all it was good for us.

Sorry you have such pains with your endrometriosis. You should go on strike! Is your husband on board with getting them to help out more? Hope you're feeling better!