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I am just so sad right now and feel like I am just <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"> As some of you may or may not know I am the president of our local Parents of Twins club. I try to encourage BF, CD and somtimes feel like it is a useless battle that I am in. I am ready to give up. I am so sick of people telling my expecting moms not to even try to BF because it is too hard. I am still working on encouraging it and giving tips on how I did it and how much I loved it but for gosh give me a break I know it's lots of work but give me a break. People think I am crazy for CD but when I give them the savings amounts and try to tell them how much better it is for the boys, for the planet. They still think I'm a big fruitcake. You know some days are harder then others and this is just an extra bad day I just needed to come here and wine and get a little love from some like minded mama's who get that yes you can do anything you set your mind to doing. You know all I have to say is at least I saved one little boy in the club, so yes there are a few wins few and far between but it's still so hard give me the strength not to give up fighting this battle. You know I have one other mom who I talked into looking into vax's and she stopped vaxing after talking to her hubby about how crazy I am well he did the research and was like you need to listen to her she is not nuts she is right it's scary sorry if this is rambling a bit I just have no one who gets it
 

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This is my first post on the multiples board - I'm expecting twins in September (my first). Just wanted to let you know that what you are doing is AWESOME! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> I'm from a pretty mainstream family with no twins anywhere. I plan to breastfeed and have already bought my entired newborn cloth diaper stash! EVERYONE keeps telling me "Oh, you'll try it for a while but then you'll change your mind." So wrong! The thing is, NONE of them have ever breastfed/cloth diaper their singletons, let alone 2 babies, so what do they know anyway?<br><br>
It's great that you are there for moms and are providing them with information and support to make the best possible choices for their little ones. Don't let the negativity of people who usually don't know what they are talking about get you down. You are working for a cause that YOU believe and doing a lot of good in the process. Keep up the great work!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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You're fighting the good fight mama! I know that the nay sayers can really get to you after awhile, but keep up the good work. It is worth it, even if NOBODY follows your example. At least you know that what you are doing is the best possible for YOUR family. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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ITA with the pp. You're fighting the good fight!<br><br>
I send you some vibes for "open-ness" from the moms there. That's really all it takes, a willingness not to just dismiss your ideas as fruitcake-like. If, 5 years ago, someone had said I'd bf, cd, co-sleep, etc, I would have said they were crazy. At some point during my first pregnancy, I just opened up to non-mainstream ideas and began to embrace them.<br><br>
You may not get a lot of converts, but I bet the converts you do get will be happy to have you in their lives!
 

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You've hit on so many reasons why I am hesitant to even join a MOMs club... GOOD FOR YOU for doing your best. And never forget that often the best way to lead is by example. If even a few people see the light through the example you set then you've taken another step in changing the world. Is there another mama who would be willing to share the burden with you? It must be so overwhelming trying to do it alone. Good luck to you.
 

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As someone who just joined my local MOM club, I would say 'stay in there and fight the good fight!" I was shocked at some of the information I was sent when I first joined as a expectant mom. For example, under necessary items- bottle holding things that you tie around their necks, and bottles with long bendy straws so they can be propped upright. Along with 2 cribs, 2 bouncers, 2 swings, etc.<br><br>
Now, I'm not a mom of twins yet, so I know I really don't have a clue, but it seemed extreme to me. It would have been nice to see a nurisng pillow and foot stool, or even a disclaimer that some folks think you only need car seats and some sort of diapering system (cloth or sposies) for the first few months.<br><br>
I'd love to have you leading my (enormous) group!<br><br><br>
Mommymaemae- I don't think that by staying away from such clubs we are dong a service to anyone, even ourselves. I joined and thought I would just read the e-mails, etc. I've never been to a meeting, but I've been able to get good (and bad) info, meet some neat people who I would never have known and have been able to start building my library of twin books from people who are ready to pass them on.
 

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Mama, do NOT give up.<br><br>
I am the odd-member out at my MoM club (Waldorf parenting/educating, semi-veggie-organic feeding, Midwife endorsing, delayed vax, no-TV, etc).<br><br>
I can hardly wait to send an email this evening inviting my 'sisters' to join me in attending a holistic parenting expo this weekend <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief">.
 

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Hey Tiffany, why don't you come over for coffee? Seriously, I would love to see you and you can relax and enjoy our chaos. Maybe we should start an AP twins club?<br><br>
PM me if you want my phone # and address.
 

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our moms club advocates ezzo on their home page. yeah, right. chances of me attending after reading that went right down the drain. and then their disclaimer that children are not welome at meetings because it's a moms night out, with only a small caveat that breastfeeding children may come along.<br><br>
eww.<br><br>
dh keeps telling me to go, but i hate feeling like a freakish outcast anywhere, and evening meetings would be hellacious because that's grumpy time around here.<br><br>
i need to start a families with multiples or a cruncy multiple mamas club! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mumm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7349007"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Mommymaemae- I don't think that by staying away from such clubs we are dong a service to anyone, even ourselves. I joined and thought I would just read the e-mails, etc. I've never been to a meeting, but I've been able to get good (and bad) info, meet some neat people who I would never have known and have been able to start building my library of twin books from people who are ready to pass them on.</div>
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I think you are right and I admire the strength of those of you who are lonely AP members of these groups... I just don't know if I have the energy to defend my parenting choices to an entire group. I already get uppity looks from singleton stroller moms when I'm out for walks wearing my twins and walking my dog. I feel that moms feel threatened by my choices and their own guilt? I dunno... If nothing else it would be good for the semi annual clothing swap, I guess <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cdahlgrd</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7353169"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Maybe we should start an AP twins club?</div>
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That is what I did. The store that I work at PT (nfl type establishment) has given over one Friday a month for an AP multiples mom's meeting. If anyone is in CT feel free to PM me for more info. Two of us on this board attend, and it is sooooo nice. It's chaos, even with only 3 or 4 moms, but it's nice to be on the same page as everyone else for a change.
 

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My MOTC is the same way. I live in San Francisco & was totally shocked that there weren't more AP-minded families with twins. It also makes me sad.<br><br>
What kills me is the vehemence that the formula feeders and sleep train your baby at 12-weeks old folks spew their ideas. It's like their trying to justify their parenting approach by getting others to replicate it. On our list serve there are so many emails saying that you just can't exclusively nurse twins & it's okay to supplement & formula is fine. I'm not talking about the people who truly have a limited supply or babies who just will not latch but those who formula feed from the start without even trying.<br><br>
When my girls turned a year old, I asked on the list serve about anyone's experience nursing in the second year of life. I got 3 responses. One woman told me to wean, despite me saying I had no interest in weaning my two, and to let them cry-it-out when the wanted milk. One told me about a national twins message board that may have other extended nursers. And one mama wrote to me about her experiences. It just feels really lonely.<br><br>
Oh and in my group, a night nurse is a **necessity.** It got to the point that one poor mama sent out a pleading email about how they could not afford a night nurse and wondering what she would do. Our friends with twins still seem to feel offended that we did not take their advice and get a night nurse. The girls were nursed and slept in our room and nursed back to sleep-- what would a nurse have done?<br><br>
Ugh. Sorry to write a novel. This is just one of my pet peeves. I do make a point to write encouraging emails to new moms trying to breastfeed & warn them that they may get discouraging emails, but that nursing twins can be done.<br><br>
Keep up the good fight. I am impressed that you're the president of your club! You go girl!
 

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You're a stronger woman than I am . . . I went to one local MOMs club meeting and basically ran away screaming . . . didn't even join.<br><br>
Maybe there's room in your community for a more AP-minded multiples club?
 

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You are doing such a service to these moms. And even if you only reach a small percentage - its worth it. Not that you were or are, but be careful not to be preachy (as that always turns people off) - but DO continue offering information when you see the opportunity. Eventually people will listen - those that are "inclined" but have been told its not doable with twins, or something - you may be just the encouragement they need!<br><br>
I know your struggle. Here is my little version of this. I am in a local "triplets mothers group" in my community. We have a yahoo board and the posting is frequent - and usually very helpful. Last friday I logged on to read a post from a mom -- all about dealing with one of her 4 year old DDs being sassy at the park - and how she took her home and put soap in her mouth (yeah, the old "wash their mouth out with soap thing" circa 1950, I think?) - anyway, she went on and on to describe how the little girl was clamping her mouth shut, the mom put the soap on her lips and teeth, and the little girl gagged and threw up - all while the sibs were watching in horror. Ya da Ya da. Then the thread spiced up with replies from others about how they do this. One mom apparently uses "hot sauce" on her 4 year old -- and has taken to carrying it in her purse for when they are out and about (yeah - "travel hot sauce"). I was horrified. And I was particularly concerned that others on our boards (especially our new moms) get the impression that this is representative of how we all discipline our triplets - or worse - these same moms spank and stuff and I soo don't want new triplet moms to see their message of "with triplets you have to be very strict" and spank and soap mouthes and stuff. Anyway - this is getting long - I totally replied and denounced the practice (but tried not to be too hostile about it). My message was basically anti fear based and violent discipline -- while also pointing out how counterproductive it was to their goal of encouraging respectful behavior (by treating the DD so disrespectfully)?<br><br>
OK - that said - I should mention how psyched I was to see what a band of fairly hardcore nursers these moms were though - no EBF that I know of - but plenty of BF for 1 year - with triplets - I thought that was awesome.<br><br>
Hang in there. It is important. I firmly believe that.
 

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Hang in there<br>
As the president you can do SO much good.<br>
When I was the president of our club we set up a breastfeeding support program with a local lactation consultant who had nursed twins. We hosted expectant parents nights and I always made sure I came to talk about breastfeeding, co-sleeping etc - get em early you know. We had info in our packages about cloth diapering, the AP association etc. Now we had to balance it out with other stuff - but I made sure it at least had a fighting chance of getting recognized.<br><br>
You can - you are - making a difference. You just may not know yet what that is.<br>
Karen
 

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<span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS';">UPDate !!!</span></span><br><br>
Thanks so much for all the support and relplies it helped a ton<br>
I got a note from one of the more mainstream moms telling me that all the efforts and work I have been doing this past year are not unnoticed that she has seen the club turn around and it is a more positive experience. I think I was having a super bad day and having lots of guilt about only being able to nurse for 14 mo but just knowing I can count on you guys for lots of support helps too. Again thanks so much you guys rock
 

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Hey! I think that National Convention will be in Boston in 2008! I think we should all hook up!!
 

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every little bit makes a difference. my multiple moms club isn't too bad. there's a decent variety, but one mom told me just the other day that since i joined, the group has gone from being a social thing to actually supporting each other. i didn't know this but when i started posting questions and requests for support and people responded, that was really the first time people started honestly talking about what was going on in their lives and asking for and giving help. since i've been there, there's been an increase in the nursing new moms and i make myself available to every one of them. i wear the babes to everything and i'm now known as the sling woman and have helped moms pick out slings/carriers for both twins and younger singletons. last week we even had a very civilized, respectful discussion about co-sleeping and one about vaccination and i learned that more moms than i thought were/are co-sleeping their twins. this has inspired me to attempt to get more involved with the club and i'll be taking over as Stork Club Chairmom for our expectant and newly postpartum members!<br><br>
just keep at it and you never know when the flood gates will open and compassionate multiple mothering will pour forth!
 

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i am expecting twins in early october. i have two children who never had a drop of formula. there is absolutely no way i'd do it differently with twins. i WILL breastfeed (thankfully i have TWO breasts) and i WILL cd. people who say that you can't do it are usually the ones who never tried it themselves (at least this is what i have found).
 

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I wish you all were members of the MoM club near me! We're expecting our twins (our first kids) in early June. DH is on board with breastfeeding, but I'm having a hard time convincing him of CD even though I will be the one who does most of it! I'm a professor and will not have to go back to work until our twins are about 26 mos old. DH has a much shorter parental leave. NONE of our friends CD, though some breastfeed and a few haven't weaned kids who are approaching 2 yrs.<br><br>
I also struggle with the enormous socio-economic gap and the mindset that goes with it. Don't get me wrong, it's not like we're living in poverty. I've just always felt that money isn't that important and the MoM club here is mostly very wealthy women who add night nurses, au pairs and housekeepers to the list of 'must-haves.' We're not sure yet how we plan to deal with the very real need for help that we'll no doubt experience. The advice the club has to offer isn't helpful.
 
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