[OakEmber]

DD, 3.5 still co-sleeps with us as she has done from the start. But I have been wondering, some of my friends swear that their babies (well toddlers actually) won't sleep with them and have always slept better on their own. In my mind I really don't think it is feasible for a baby to prefer to sleep on their own...but is it really something that I should prepare for? Is there a possilbility that my new babe might not sleep well with me? Like I said, I don't think that especially if they co-sleep from the beginning and didn't know any differnt they'd sleep better on thier own but it has made me wonder if some of you have experience with more than one would share your thoughts. We don't have a crib or anything else for that matter for the baby to sleep in besides our bed, I don't know what I'd do! Anyway, just curious to see what you all think.

 

[ja mama]

Yep. My ds1 coslept with us for the first three months exclusively. Then he started squirming so much and being so wiggly that he'd wake himself and us up. I would put him in a bassinet beside my bed in the evening and let him sleep until the first time he woke up, then I'd nurse him in bed for the rest of the night. He was never a great sleeper, but when it got to the point of waking up every twenty minutes after he was done nursing, I started putting him back in the bassinet and he'd sleep for 2 hours! He was in our room for about 5 months. When we put him in his own room he started sleeping 4 hour stretches! He still likes me to lay in his bed while he goes to sleep occasionally, but on the nights he's asked me to "sleepover" in his bed, he'll ultimately kick me out because I get in his sleeping way. Ds2 on the other hand, would sleep snuggled in tight, as much as possible and has always been that way.

 

[DaryLLL]

I have 3 kids and we had a family bed for yrs. Dd #2 slept better on her own from about age 3 mos - 9 mos. She seemed to get overstimulated by too much holding and nursing at bedtime and naptime. She would nurse till she got drowsy, then start to act fussy and squirmy. So I would put her in basinet or later, a crib and she would suck her thumb for about 3 mins making some fussy noises, then fall right to sleep.

For a while, she would even find her thumb in the night and not even insist on nursing. I would wake up and hear her fussing halfheartedly, then hear the sucking noise and then, quiet.

After 9 mos, teething and separation and made her want to join me, dh and big sister. But she was one wiggly sleeper.

 

[Piglet68]

While Nature has ensured that it is the "norm" for babies to sleep next to their mothers, Nature always allows for some variability. So of course it is reasonable to expect that some *minority* of babies will prefer solitary sleeping.

Such children in the past may have been selected against due to predation or other safety precautions. In today's world, other than an increased risk of SIDS, there is not much consequence to a baby preferring to sleep alone.

Two caveats to this: a baby "preferring" to sleep alone may be "sleepy parentspeak" for "he sleeps longer and disturbs me less" when he sleeps alone. It may not be baby's preference, but it depends on how you define that. For some longer, deeper sleep = better. Not always true.

Second: I would side with Nature and statistics and forget the crib for now. You can buy a crib and bring it home in a matter of hours. Why waste your time and money now on something that will likely not be necessary?

 

[TeaBag]

Our first was totally a family bed baby, wanted to be with me, if not on me all the time, until he was past three. Our second didn't want anything to do with the family bed from about 4.5 months on (coincidentally, about the time I got pregnant with our third....

) She slept in the crib for a while and about 7 months ago, we got her a twin bed. She sleeps fine there. OUr third is a family bed baby, wanting me to be with her all the time. And our toddler, who used to never want to sleep with me is now saying "I sleep with Mommy?" So they are all different, and what works one month might not work the next....I say listen to your kid, they will tell you.

 

[OakEmber]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Piglet68 Second: I would side with Nature and statistics and forget the crib for now. You can buy a crib and bring it home in a matter of hours. Why waste your time and money now on something that will likely not be necessary?

Oh don't get me wrong, LOL, I won't be going out and buying a crib or anything...even if I didn't think it would be a waste of money we wouldn't have room for it anyway!

It's just something that has been stewing in my mind and I since I have been hearing these things from mainstream parents I just wanted to hear the FBer's perspective. It does seem that there may be something to it though according to the other posts.

Then again, DH informed me today that this pregnancy is making me over analyze everything (and therefore making me insane is where I think he was going with this :LOL)

 

[MomInFlux]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmbersMOM Then again, DH informed me today that this pregnancy is making me over analyze everything (and therefore making me insane is where I think he was going with this :LOL)

:LOL This was me when pregnant!

Anyway, I am a whole-hearted supporter of the family bed, and my almost 3.5yo DS sleeps with me and DH exclusively. My 5mo DD, on the other hand, doesn't sleep well with us AT ALL. Once I realized this, I started putting her down by herself at nap time and bedtime, and she sleeps GREAT. It's weird to me, but I decided I need to respect her needs. So, yup - I believe some babies really do sleep better by themselves.

 

[Marsupialmom]

I have a friend with 9 children. She had a crib with her first child. Never used it. She used it only at nap times and needing a safe place for the younger child with children 2,3,and 4. It was broken right before the 5th one was born. They survived fine without a crib. Then the sixth one came a long. A few weeks after it was born she pulled the top dresser drawer out, put a receiving blanket in it and the baby. They went out and bought a crib the next day because the baby actually slept for 3 hours straight. He slept in that crib for almost 4 years at his own choosing. LOL Children 7, 8, and now 9 all slept in the family bed.

DC6 is an intense child. Gets over stimulated very easy. She thinks the crib blocked off the rest of the world for him. Two sides were up against walls and the third one had a large dresser blocking were he could see.

*********************

I do wonder if some of these people have children that just associate sleep with being alone though.

 

[orangemustang]

I sleep w/ my 5 week old. Its so much easier for us breastfeeding.
I am ashamed to tell anyone about it though. Everyone has comments about how unsafe it is. I just read an article that said babies who sleep w/ their parents are 40 times more likley to die from sids or smothering.
It doesnt change my opinion about what is best for us, I just get tired of defending my choices w/ my family ( cloth diapers/ co-sleeping & not letting him cry himself to sleep)

 

[lilyka]

My oldest and yuoungest definitely slept better onthier own. Lilyka was a toss up. Once she started sleeping period she did sleep better on her own. but getting her to fall asleep on her own (or at all) or moving her from my bed to her own bed was a night mare. Things looked up when we finally got her a real bed with a real mattress.

 

[kerc]

Quote:

You can buy a crib and bring it home in a matter of hours.

You know, i never, ever, thought I would sleep with my kid, but...these things happen. Musical beds is a common theme among people i know who really try to listen to their kids needs as well as their own.

as far as telling people -- we didn't. I felt awful telling lies until she was about 6 months. then i told my dh he HAD to tell his mom (we were visiting and it got a little silly in that she was borrowing cribs, etc.). basically i've since realized that most people who breastfeed sleep with their kids at least some portion of the night/early morning. arm yourself with some lines:
my favorite:

"We're doing what works right now for our family."

"i just read a study that suggests that what we're doing is safe. we don't drink and sleep with her. we don't have fluffy pillows, we don't do any other X,Y,Z things that raise the risk."

"I read in ____ (sorry don't have a good link) that sleeping w kiddo can reduce risk of sids."

and umm I got all kinds of crap from people about sleep patterns, she'd sleep with us forever and I'd say something like
"I'm not planning on having her with us forever. But my doctor suggests that if it works for us the sleep is better than no sleep in the crib."

 

[BusyMommy]

I really think each kid is different. My 3 y.o. can only sleep if velcroed to me. My 19 mos. old sleeps SOOOO much better scooted away from me w/his own space. If he's snuggled w/me, then he's restless and wakeful.