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Can you wise HSing Mama's offer some advice? Just a little background before I start firing away the questions <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I have a VERY spirited daughter who is 6 1/2 and in Kindergarten all day. Alexis and I are at each others throats constantly. She doesn't follow directions very well (actually she just gets side tracked), gets pretty mouthy and is disrespectful a lot of the time. It has been getting worse and worse as the year goes by. She has had problems with peers picking on her, hurting her, but she won't say anything a lot of the times. *I* yell at her all too often ( I am really working on this). ANyway, we all had a really bad day yesterday. To top it all off, I went to go get her from school, and somone had let her get on the bus. Thank Goodness, that I got in there just in time before they released the buses to tell someone that Alexis had been put on the bus. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"> SO, I was relaying events to a friend of mine online after hte kids went to bed that night. I was IN TEARS, saying I don't have patience for her mouth anymore etc. All of a sudden she says: Have you ever thought of HomeSchooling her? I LAUGHED> To be honest, my initial reaction was..The last thing I want is to have her around more often. WE are at each others throats ALL THE TIME.<br>
So, I am looking into it. I just don't think she is doing as well as she could be doing. She is struggling in parts and she is a VERY smart kid. I really want to send her to a Waldorf School, but we can't afford it.<br>
I guess My questions are: Will HSing really help (maybe) with some of the stuff she is struggling with? Behavior problems? Etc?? I am kinda scared that she will miss the school enviornment and really not like staying home. Its tough and always a struggle getting her ready (with a 2 year old and new baby) and off to school, then to wake both the little ones UP from their naps to go get her.<br>
I am relaly scared but looking into it...Any tips for a beginner??<br><br>
Thanks for reading my ramble<br>
Chandi
 

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yes, i think homeschooling can help you and your daughter, when you feel in your heart that you want to do it.<br><br>
my eldest's personality is one of the reasons we are homeschooling/unschooling. i know that if he went to school i would have a molten heap of emotions to deal with at home even though many have tried to reason with me that it would be easier since i have two littles.<br><br>
and to start, i have heard that educators agree that kids learn about three hours a day at school. often when i tell others this it significantly lowers the pressure.<br><br>
look for a homeschool group in your area. you will need the community, even if it is just occasional contact.<br>
and are there other schooling options available to you? perhaps a halfday could work. and sometimes it is just the school or the teacher. i guess i just don't know your daughter that well...<br><br>
i'm a little braindead right now, but moved by your post. i promise to write more later.
 

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Thanks you for responding!<br><br>
I have Alexis in a different school district, because I WAS NOT going to allow her to attend Milwaukee (Wisconsin) Public Schools. She is in a good district, and she likes her teachers, but she just seems so down and mad when I pick her up. I don't know, I have felt something wasnt' quite right all year but cna't put my finger on it.<br>
We have looked into other options, but we just cannot afford $4K-6K in tuition a year at different schools. I really want her in a Waldorf School, thats what she needs. She doesn't seem interested in wanting to learn how to do math and such now. SHe wants to learn by playing and acting out what she sees. I saw her hold La LEche LEague Meetings in her room (I'm a leader applicant lol). She wants to learn to read, but thats about it. The school wants her to learn this and that and she isn't interested yet. Has been suggested to me that she has a learning disability....<br><br>
Chandi
 

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IMHO<br><br>
If your dc's neg behaviors are caused/triggered by public school then taking her out of that setting can help a lot. You have prob read hs moms talk about taking some time to detox from the ps environment, or fall back into a 'home' mind set. I would def wait a while before starting your chosen hs method and try to involve dd asmasp in setting her goals for the next year.<br><br>
If she is a high spirited girl in addition to behavioral probs due to inconsistent parenting, health issues, or emotional stress from homelife, then you will have to resolve those issues together in the honeymoon time before you start homeschooling (after she withdraws from ps). If your dc is very very spirited you need to take the planning time to sort out what will work for the two of you so that you are not butting heads all day.<br><br>
I think hsing sounds like a very good choice and I wish you the best as you start this journey.
 

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First looking into home-schooling <b>is</b> a scary time! I, too, have begun home-schooling my child (1st year) due to behavioral issues. he was spending more time in the principal's office than in the classroom, due to his constant disruption of the class and disrespect for the teacher and other students.(He has Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, which loosely translates into not listening to adults,being challenging and argumentative, and prone to 'rages'.) So, I also wondered how I would manage having him home with me 24-7, and also meet the needs of my pre-schooler and infant. We can barely manage to spend 20 minutes together without me loosing my temper due to something he has done.<br>
You're probably wondering where the encouragment comes into play, right?<br>
Well, once I began looking at things a little differently, things slowly began to improve. The 1st thing I'd recommend is to let go of any pre-conceived notions about how much work your daughter will get done in a day. Children who have a strong-will or spirited nature *will* resist if you try to structure their learning too much. Believe me, you <i>don't</i> want make schoolwork a battleground! What I have learned over the past year (the <i>hard</i> way, unfortunately) is that my son will learn if the opportunity presents itself, ( self-directed learning), or if something <i>interests him</i>, however briefly. This is *still* hard for me to accept, as I feel I should be following some sort of stucture, but every time I try, he refuses to do anything. But on the plus side, since my son is no longer under pressure to act a 'certain way', we are having less negative interactions and I am able to appreciate him for who he is, not focusing so much on what he is not. Make any sense? Not that we don't still have DIFFICULT days, but at least there are some positive times thrown in the mix.<br>
Not sure if this**long** ramble will be of any help to you, but just take things one step at a time. Remember, if you find that it's really not something you are able (or want) to do, you <b>can</b> enroll her in school again. I bet you'll be surprised the way things work out.<br>
Best of luck to you!
 

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Rain went to kindergarten, and it was an awful year. We were at each other all the time, she would have this huge meltdowns and spent an hour trying to bite me and spit at me and hit me... ::shudder::<br><br>
Within 3 months of starting homeschooling things were a lot better, and within 6 months she was a different kid... and she's never, ever been that hard to be with since.<br><br>
Dar
 

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My children have no such discorder but I can totally identify with the behaviors you see after he comes home from school. This is our first full year of hs. We took them out at the end of 1st and 2nd grade last year. When they came home they were agrumentative and angry. When we started indentifying some of this behavior being associated with school, we were amazed. And noted that during vacation we did not see the same behaviors (Yes, there were still some issues.) I asked my husband, " Have you noticed? What do they do to them?" Even he was astounded when it was brought up. Hs is not a panacia but far better than what it was. They are both less argumentative and less likely to get on one another. (You would expect the reverse since they are with each other more often). I have heard people say that it is because basically they are pushed around all day so they look for someone to push back at the end of the day - no matter what the reason, it is not nice and I don't expect my children to act like that.<br><br>
With that in mind I will also note that I find I get much less resistance to lessons when I don't push so much, but let them evolve more with an idea in mind and let the kids take it where they want. I am still working on this.<br><br>
Let us know how it works out.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you for all the useful tips!<br><br>
Can someone explain the Detox from PS? I am looking into letting her finish out the School year and not re enrolling her.
 

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You will be amazed the transition that you will experience from ps to hs. In our experience - there is a stage of missing it, there is boredom, there is tv reliance, there is almost an inability to think.<br><br>
The kids from ps are so used to getting spoon fed information that they don't know what to do without that. It takes time for them to remember what being curious is like. It takes time for them to not be "Booooored" but take responsibility for their learning. And the best cure for this is just time. . . Lots of time for discovery. . . Free time . . . Time without constrants or plans . . .Time for them to "learn" about themselves. . .Time before you start your own lessons however you choose to hs.<br><br>
Good luck
 

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i'm pasting something i wrote from a different thread (mamas of novdec02babies)<br><br><br>
"if reed wants to try school later on, he can. he helped make the choice when we talked about it when he was four. we didn't paint the prettiest picture though we really said very little. we told him that he would be there all day everyday and could only eat when they said he could for breakfast and lunch, and that he could run for twenty minutes after lunch and at pe once a week. and that he would have to wake up early no matter what, and go to the bathroom only once or twice with permission, and could not have cold water with him, and would have to nap or stay quiet during that time. i can't get over these simple physical issues! he can barely sit still or stay quiet ever and hasn't napped since turning two. he asked what he would learn, and this we did ask at the open house of the gifted school: they expected the finishing kindergarteners to recognize their letters and count to 100. so he went ahead and learned those things that week....."<br><br>
much of it for us is the physical issues. as for the behaviours at home y'all are speaking of, it is the same when my kids have been playing with my mil, or even sometimes, my dh. i have to remind myself and my dh that it is a special compliment to mom that the kids meltdown. they are most comfortable with you and feel able to share that with you. so feel encouraged by that notion, that you have an attached enough relationship that your child can still freak out with you. and if anything, they have become my teachers on how to behave....
 

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Hi Chandi <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> "Teachinmama" here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I agree with the others who have addressed it, once you start HS'ing, you'll see a BIG change in her attitude.<br><br>
"She doesn't seem interested in wanting to learn how to do math and such now. SHe wants to learn by playing and acting out what she sees. I saw her hold La LEche LEague Meetings in her room (I'm a leader applicant lol). She wants to learn to read, but thats about it. The school wants her to learn this and that and she isn't interested yet. Has been suggested to me that she has a learning disability...."<br><br>
The beauty of HS'ing is you can go at HER pace!!! If she were continuing in school then she'd be pushed thru the math and other things she's not ready for. The result of that is she won't really be learning it, she'll just be coping and getting by.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> You're going to do great!!! Just take it one step at a time!!
 

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Dtox from ps is basically giving you and your child time to chill and learn new ways of learning.the methods used in teaching ps were designed to teach a large group of children in the most efficent manner,like an assembly line.like o.k. your six so now we read kind of thing.Human beings don't all take to equally to this souless method of instuction though.Soooo have some fun! find what works and what doesn't.they say more is caught than taught and from having hs the last 14 yrs I'd have to agree.<br>
You might enjoy making some boxes to put open ended materials like measuring cups and cuisenaire rods for math and magnifying glasses and vinegar and baking soda for science and letting her loose.<br>
As for anger issues I've had to learn to bite my toungue and seriously choose my battles with my kids i.e. finish your painting project before lunch so we can eat! and letting the frog in the jar stay on the counter till dinner,but that's another story........
 

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I agree with the other posters. My son is younger but he too is very spirited. He knows all his letters by sight and sound and is starting to sound out words but he can't even count to 5. No biggie, that is the beauty of homeschooling - they can learn when THEY are ready, not when Big Brother says they should. IMO I'd take her out now. Why make her suffer through getting picked on and being miserable for another month? Let her learn through living. For math she certainly doesn't need to sit a desk and work on numbers. She can learn math through counting pieces of a puzzle or game, counting how long it is between lighting and thunder flashes, helping you bake, adding up how many of something she has when you give her a bit and then a bit more. People want kids to just sit still and learn and I don't get it! I, at 25, would not want to sit in a desk and be told what to do all day. Why should a 6 year old be expected to?
 

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I am still looking and reading and looking and praying some more.<br><br>
I am gonna break it too my overbearing,controlling, know it all parent tomorrow, that I am even considering this. Please Pray I don't kill her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Anyone have any experience with "Five in a Row"? What do you use to supplement Phonics/Reading and Math??
 

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Chandi ~ I looked at FIAR when I started researching HS stuff. While I LOVE unit studies I didn't really like FIAR. But A LOT of people do. Like any curriculum, if you can look thru it yourself..maybe try a lesson..then decide.<br><br>
I use Rod and Staff for Phonics and Math. I also used it for Reading but she just breezed thru the 1st grade book! I'm having her read library books for practice and to challenge her.
 
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