[emmaegbert]

So, ladies, is it normal to just use timing for a long time? Or do you think I am doing something "wrong" here?

We started this 7m ago (when DD was 2m old) and after an early period of usually 1-2 or up to 4 misses per day, when she started crawling before she was even 6m the misses just got too frequent- and too widely dispersed around the house- so I went to pretty much f/t cloth diapers with plenty of potty opportunities. We make plenty of catches per day, (2-4 in the morning, 1-3 in the afternoons before dinner, usually one before bedtime and again when she wakes to nurse around 10 or 11... actually w/ a few potty opportunities she's usually dry from about 5PM to 5AM when she does her first morning pee, which I frequently miss b/c I'm too tired to jump immediately up and potty her) but I have plenty of wet dipes/trainers to wash also. Ugh- maybe she just pees more frequently than some 9mos?

She usually doesn't MIND the potty (we don't put her on if she resists) but she doesn't seem to care in the least about peeing in her diapers, trainers, on the ground, whatever. Like, it doesn't phase her in the least. Doesn't do anything, say anything, stop what she's doing. She never seems to mind that she's wet either, I just have to check. If we are home, I change her the moment I notice she's wet. If we are out and about, I am more likely to change her when its convenient.

Oh, and she totally refuses to use little or big potties when we are out and about so I've given up on that.

Poop is a little different- we usually catch it (she's really regular) but if she does a surprise poop later in the day (rare) she definitely crawls over to me and pulls on my leg and kind of cries. Obviously I change her immediately.

She's flashed a potty sign that we've seen maybe 3x so far, and usually in response to hearing someone mention potty, not b/c she has to go.

So... does this seem normal? Its certainly not quite like the books say, but I often wish books would be a little more realistic... oh well. I guess the type of people that write books about stuff probably had it work really well for them...

I'm not disappointed or anything. I decided when I started EC that I would NOT let it be yet another standard that I am measuring myself up to. So, I just give her the potty chances when it works for us, and try not to worry about it, figuring at the very least using the potty will be familiar to her when we think she's ready to stop with diapers (FTR we did early potty learning w/ our son, who began complaining about being wet or dirty at 15m, and he was out of daytime dipes by 21m, without doing EC, so its not like I'm really doing this so she's diaper free *earlier*, not that I'd mind that).

Ugh, just wondering if this EC experience sounds familiar. I'm going to keep up with it but I guess I have to reorganize some of my expectations of how much SHE would actually communicate to me.

 

[isabchi]

You are doing a great job!. I used timing for very long time. My key was offering every 25 to 30 mins.If I feel that DS need to go and don't go, I offer 5 mins later. Misses are opportunities to learn about what happends with with their bodies. Don't forget to be verbal...-See there is the pee....When they learn to walk, Show her the potty every time you walk in a room. I say... Hey!! This is the potty , don't forget that pee goes in the potty!!

I don't have much time now. Later, I'll be back. Take care..

 

[hrsmom]

That sounds totally normal to me! At 21 months, we mostly still use timing. She'll tell me sometimes, but mostly I remind her to sit on the potty. For the longest time, she didn't mind at all if she was wet. I'm pretty sure if we didn't EC, that she would not have been one of those babies like your son who was upset with being wet at a pretty early age. Anyway, you are doing great! My LO doesn't use foreign potties, either, so it's either one of our potties at home, or her potty in the car or at my mom's house. That's the extent of our pottying outside the home so far, and has been that way since probably 7 months of age.

ETA: for us, the communication has been me communicating with her what the potty is all about, and giving her chances to go, and keeping her dry. Communicating that we don't sit around in wet pants. She communicated by squirming, popping off the nipple, etc. when she was tiny, but that went away. I know "elimination communication" is not everyone's favorite term for this!

 

[emmaegbert]

thanks guys!

 

[Big D]

Your experience sounds exactly like mine! My DS is 9 mos too.

 

[BirthKathy]

Same as here! We have a lot more misses than we used to. Also, he was dry at night for a while and now he pees multiple times at night. I'm kind of glad about the daytime misses. Before, I was feeling like he needed to pee but would hold it and then be too upset to go on the potty until I fed him. Now, he can go if he needs to. He'll still fuss afterward, so I get the chance to change and pottytunity him. Then he'll be able to go back to playing before needing to nurse. So it's really better for his happiness. And that's all I care about. We've been in diapers full time, so that's been easy.

The poop still all goes in the potty! Well, 95%. Almost every poop is after nursing, so I never miss those.

 

[sapphire_chan]

From around 6 months to 11 months I resisted using timing.

that you've been more sensible.

 

[emmaegbert]

yeah- I am hopeful that around age 1, with more language and walking, she might start choosing to use the potty herself in addition to me just offering it.

speaking of which- she's crawling around bare-bum, I should probably give her a potty chance!

thanks for all the replies. It seems like the trajectory we are on is certainly normal for some...

 

[hrsmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by emmaegbert yeah- I am hopeful that around age 1, with more language and walking, she might start choosing to use the potty herself in addition to me just offering it. speaking of which- she's crawling around bare-bum, I should probably give her a potty chance! thanks for all the replies. It seems like the trajectory we are on is certainly normal for some...

It might happen then, it might happen much later.

My dd (22 months today) will choose to use it herself on rare occasion, but we're definitely not there yet. We're still at the "mostly dry with help from mom" stage. It's working for us! She'll tell me about poops, but otherwise, if I forget to take her, I'm cleaning up pee.

 

[sdbeachy]

OP, this sounds so much like my 10 month old son. Aside from when he was 2-4 months old and had his "pooping face" (which was how we started EC in the first place) we've pretty much always relied on timing. We actually have fewer misses when we're away from home though, but I don't know if that's him, me or both.

I keep signing "potty" to him when he's on it, talking to him about what he's doing, and now that he will sit on his own I often go at the same time.

I had imagined he would start signaling, or crawl to the potty (hah, silly me!), but really I'm very happy about where we are. We catch probably 60%-90% of the pees, depending on the day, and rarely miss a poop. He almost always stays dry overnight now, though I don't always get him to the potty first thing in the morning in time.

He doesn't talk at all yet, unless you count mum-mum-mum when he wants me to pick him up. I'm hoping with the talking will come some communication from him.

Anyway, I think relying on timing is fine. A catch is a catch is one less diaper to wash!

 

[Laur318]

I think you're doing much better than I am. You are very determined and setting up a good routine so your LO is thriving. I'm too sporadic so I envy your quality of patience and prediictabilty. DS is 10 months old right now. I'd say we cloth diaper with lots of pottytunities, not EC with some cloth. i have only ever got him to poop on the potty a few times, but he does do his grunting and pooping in the bathroom. we're almost there.
when you're down, like PP said, just remember a catch is one less diaper to wash.
and even better than that, is one less chlorine filled sposie in the landfill for 500 years!