Mothering Forum banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
629 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, I'm not sure if this is the correct forum to ask this question, but my daughter will be just 5 when entering K 9/2008. She's in school right now and is academically on target and her teachers say that "she will be ready, I have every confidence that she will be ready" but I still see some immaturity. She sometimes wants the high chair at restaurants, though I say no, she wants a sippy at times, wants to be held a lot, cries, just seems baby-ish in general. Don't get me wrong, I realize that she is only 41/2, so I know she's going to cry, but I just feel unsure of her maturity when she asks for babyish things like a high chair and sippy cup. I guess my main concern is whether or not I'm setting her up for success if she is the youngest in her K class next year? Any comments? Resources? Thanks
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
188 Posts
I notice that your DD has a younger sibling (three years apart, like my two) so could it be acting out for a little attention? My 4 1/2 year old also acts like that at times but never at preschool; his teachers assure me that he is ready. Granted, he turns 5 in May so he will not be the youngest in his class when he starts in August. What is the age cutoff?<br><br>
Would you be prepared to keep her back a year? In looking around at kindergarten options the past couple of months, I've talked with a lot of parents (friends and strangers, staff, etc.) and about a handful claim that holding their child back a year (i.e. starting them in K at age 6) was the best thing they ever did. A counselor I spoke to on the matter says that there are a few instances where redshirting is advised... if the child's birthday falls very close to the cutoff date, if the child is unusually short or tall for his age, if the child has emotional/behavioral/physical delays, if the child has difficulty separating from the primary caregiver, and I forget the fifth reason.<br><br>
The worst case is you can start her in K this year, carefully mention your concerns to the K teacher, and see how she does? Oftentimes, my son acts completely different around others.<br><br>
HTH and good luck with this decision!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
362 Posts
Hello,<br><br>
I student taught with a group of veteran K teachers, so I have a little insight on this. At kindergarten roundup, the teachers presented the parents with the choice of alternative kindergarten or kindergarten. Their basic point was this: They always have a handful of parents every year who regret NOT putting their kid in alternative kindergarten, because their child was not really ready, and now is behind everyone else in regular K. But they never have a parent who regrets putting them in it.<br><br>
From what I have seen as a teacher, if my child was going to be the youngest in the class, I would put them in alternative kindergarten (or hold them for another year if your state does not have that program.) Then they are on the older end of the class, and are much more likely to be leaders, not followers.<br><br>
Studies have shown that starting them off right is really important. If they start out behind, they are likey to stay behind. I would go more by her readiness as far as maturity goes, not academics.<br><br>
I would trust those instincts, the above is just my 2 cents. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,450 Posts
My dd was academically ready for school. Her Birthday was September, and that would have made her the youngest kid in her grade. Which meant that in junior high, she would have been the youngest in the school.<br><br>
Emotionally and socially, she just wasn't ready to compete with kids a year older than her.<br><br>
SHe's 15 now, and I haven't regretted it yet. But, she still has four more years of public school, and three of those will be with a driver's license, so time will tell.<br><br>
You can observe kids who are going to kindergarten next year, but are older than your dd, and decide if you feel like she can hold her own with that group, and still come out a bit of a leader.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
530 Posts
My ds was 4 when he started, and turned 5 that November. He's in 3rd grade now, and has never been behind. My dd was the opposite. She had to wait because of the cut-off, so she just turned 6 in January. I think it worked out fine for her also. She is always worried about how she is compared to others, so it makes her feel good that she's one of the tallest, and in the group doing the higher levels. (I don't ever compare her to others, or ask what the other kids are doing!!)<br>
So I guess I'd say, go with your gut; do what you feel is best for her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,134 Posts
Our school district has two kindergarten options. Half day or Full day. You have to pay a bit for the full day. I always thought that if I had a kid born in August, I would put them in half day. That way if they needed an extra dose of kindergarten, then the next year I would use the full day option--that way it would seem different rather than a repeat. The difference between the two isn't academic. The full day gets more music & art. They also have lunch, PE, and a couple recesses.<br><br>
Another option would be a private kindergarten. Then the following year you would either register her for kindergarten or 1st grade depending on how you did this first year.<br><br>
OR, start her in kindergarten. Ask for an early conference/meeting with the teacher to see how she is doing. You can withdraw her and try again next year.<br><br>
For what its worth, my bday is late August. My parents started me in kindergarten when I just turned 5. I would have been very upset (esp. as I got older) if they would have held me back. I was always academically sound/advanced and back then there wasn't much for kids like me. It would have been worse if I was the oldest.<br><br>
Amy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
365 Posts
My older DD is nearly 6.5 and still enjoys sippy cups and loves to use the restaurant high chairs when she fits (she's small and some of them are larger than others), and she does her fair share of crying. I don't know for sure, but judging from our homeschool park days, I think she'd be doing fine <i>socially</i> (and academically) in Kindergarten. If those are the only things you're basing your concern about her maturity on, I don't think you'll find K to be a problem for her if her preschool teachers aren't concerned.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
629 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
thanks for the replies. No, her p-school teachers don't have many concerns about her because they see her on the same level socially as the other kids. Yes, she is also different at school than she is at home. Her teachers can't say enough good things about her. She's willing to play with anyone, not cliquey, or choosey about friends. She has a large capacity for empathy and is really sweet to other kids. I feel that in general, she's pretty mature and on top of her game socially.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
19,789 Posts
I think the behaviors you are describing (sippy cups, high chairs, crying, wanting to be carried) are pretty normal. Unless you see them as truly excessive (cannot use a regular cup, will NOT sit in "regular" chairs, cry constantly) I don't think they are reasons to hold back in school.<br><br>
DS is currently in the 1st grade. He has an 8/31 birthday and our district's cutoff is 8/31. One day younger and he would be in a different grade. His teacher just mentioned the other day how it was clearly the best choice *for him* to be put in "on time."<br><br>
That said...<br><br>
Only in the past year has he stopped sitting in high chairs at restaurants. He loves them, but gets stuck now.<br><br>
He is definately a crier. Not at school, though.<br><br>
We don't use sippy cups at home, but many of the kids use them at school. This is his current one:<br><a href="http://www.montkid.com/cgi-bin/montkid/nalgene_grip_gulp_sippy" target="_blank">http://www.montkid.com/cgi-bin/montk...rip_gulp_sippy</a><br>
Teachers do not like the kids to have have open mouthed cups--- what a mess! DD is in 4th grade and uses this one (but only 16 ounces):<br><a href="http://www.rei.com/product/738724" target="_blank">http://www.rei.com/product/738724</a><br>
They both have 12 ounce stainless steel sports bottles for lunch. I think all the kids either have straws or sippy type cups.<br><br>
We made a rule that we would not carry him around his school. He still loves being carried but we said we wouldn't at school. I carried him to/at preschool all the time, but didn't want to at elementary school.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> I really don't think those behaviors are at all uncommon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
629 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
great, thank you for the input. She is also small, but not too small. There are a few other August kids going to K next year whose parents don't even give it a second thought.<br><br>
Her teacher also said developmentally there is no difference between July kids and August kids and there are many July kids who went to K as 5 year olds and are doing fine. Maybe rough at the beginning, but smoother transition as the weeks went on.<br><br>
Also, DD is at our town's Integrated program that is in line with our K program. I've heard directly that K teachers can tell the Integrated kids from the other preschool kids because they "get it" because the Integrated teachers do as the K teachers do. KWIM?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
I found this to be a good overview when considering delaying kindergarten entry: <a href="http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200309/DelayingKEntry.pdf" target="_blank">http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200309/DelayingKEntry.pdf</a><br><br>
FWIW, my older dd has a 8/29 bd and the cut-off was 9/15. My younger dd has a 9/27 bd and the K cut-off was pushed out to 10/1 the year she started K. We started both of them just as they were about to turn 5. They have always been the youngest in grade and my younger one in particular in that we moved to a district that has a 9/15 cut-off this year, but they let her continue on to 2nd b/c she had already completed K and 1st.<br><br>
Both kids have done very well academically. My older one has been at the top of her class since she started and isn't that concerned with social things although she isn't an outcast. My younger one is also a good student but not as concerned about putting in much effort academically and is more of a socialite. She's also very small, but it doesn't seem to have made a difference. The other kids just treat her like a smaller peer, not a younger child.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
460 Posts
I think it depends on how well she fares with kids a tad older than her. In her preK/preschool are there kids that are a few months older, and she does fine? If so, I really don't think there will be a problem. Go with what you feel would be right for her. Usually girls seem to do better with this than boys do.<br><br>
My son is the youngest one in his Kindergarten (full day) class. His birthday is Halloween, and the cutoff for most of the districts around here is 10/1. My local district (which kind of sucks anyway) REFUSES to let kids test in early. I felt he was ready for K, and his Pre-K and preschool teachers both said, "oh yes... he really needs K next year! He's bored out of his mind here", so I had him tested in a neighboring district that allows younger kids to test in. Last month he tested into gifted, and will be switching schools next year (first grade) to a magnet school that has a gifted program -- still in the neighboring district. My district has a cut off for FIRST grade as well... even if they have completed Kindergarten elsewhere. He's big for his age, and gets along fine with older kids (actually better with older ones than ones his age), so it works out well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,084 Posts
Agreeing with pp - you should be ok w/her being in a class with children who are as much as a year older than she is (won't be more, usually). In our area the cut off is 12/1, so there are LOTS of kids in Sept - Dec. who get held back - there could easily be an end of nov. babe in class with a Sept/oct/nov kid who is an entire year older! In general it's not a big deal, but in some cases it *can* be because of sports and other developmentally dependent activities.<br><br>
It sounds like she'd be fine, but it sure is hard for US to tell that w/out knowing her etc. Does she play well w/other kids older than she is? Maybe you can go for a visit to a this year K class (those kids will be one year older AND familiar with their classroom), it won't be a perfect match, but the visit will give YOU some idea of the activities they do, and whether you think she will work well within the classroom setting (how much sitting is requred? How much are they expected to know? How well do the children follow directions? etc.).<br><br>
Good luck!
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top