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I know DSD is not always happy to see me. And I really love her, and want our relationship to work, so sometimes I feel like I have to remind myself to give her and her dad some space instead of always being in her face offering advice and company (especially right now that she is a teenager).<br><br>
A few months ago I wrote her a letter telling her I understand she might want some quality time with just her dad, so I'll try to be more aware of it. She wrote a short thank you letter. Made me feel like I'm doing the right thing.<br><br>
Just so hard being on the sidelines sometimes. Right now her dad went to see her before she leaves for a long trip, and I stayed home, just thought DSD might want dad-daughter time. And now I'm thinking, I don't want her to think I didn't care to see her before she left. It's just Catch 22! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
So here I am feeling a bit insecure to be honest. Anyone else is trying to balance their relationships: letting your DSC know that you love them, and giving them space with their biological parent at the same time? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">:
 

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I that is a constant struggle that we as step-parents will always have. I try and let my DSS lead on whether or not he wants me to be involved or if he just wants it to be father/son time.<br><br>
Why not try sending her an email wishing her lots of fun on the trip? May be casually mention that you thought she just might like some alone time with Dad....its hard enough raising biological teenagers I can only imagine trying to be a step-parent to a teen.
 

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STBSD is 4.5, so our situation is a little different. I probably naturally keep a distance, because I am afraid of overstepping boundaries, kwim?<br><br>
We generally try to do most things as a family, because we are working really hard on establishing ourselves as one, feeling like a family.<br><br>
DF and STBSD do get some time alone every weekday when he drives her to and from daycare. I know that he likes having that time. Also, after stories have been read, etc, he climbs into her bed and they sing a special goodnight song together before she goes to bed. I used to do it with them, but haven't since we bought her a lofted bed (it happened when I was prego and couldn't really get up there). I didn't make an issue of it because it seemed like a nice daddy/daughter bonding thing for them.
 

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My boyfriend's daughter is here for the summer. We don't live together, but her being here does mean I see less of him and that she's usually around when I do see him, which I like 95% of the time. It does take some adjustment, but I give them their space, too. They usually take a lot of day trips together. She's 14 now, I've known her since she was 10, and we now have things we like to do together like go see girly movies and sew. I send her emails when she's not here, just to say hi, and her mom is pregnant so I suggested that maybe we could sew her a diaper bag together.<br><br>
I don't even know if this answered your question...
 
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